Read and laugh

Nitro-G

I was looking at Noel's site to see if he wrote crap about being at the PS2 launch party last night, and I saw this:
http://www.game-ireland.com/features/angryarchive/hatingpcgamers.html

This Week Hating: PC Gamers!
3l33t haxor. Gib. LAN. Frag. LPB. Does any of this mean anything to you? Well, if it conjures up anything but utter contempt, get the hell out of this website you goddamn nerds. That’s right folks: this week it’s the turn of the pompous, geeky, never-had-a-girlfriend nerds of the videogames industry: PC gamers.

Now, let me clear things up: I’m not out to hate all PC gamers. Just most of you. If you enjoy a game of Minesweeper or Solitaire between Word documents, I’ve got no beef with you. But if you talk in 3l33t hacker talk, refuse to play games on consoles and prefer to be known by your Quake alias, DeathMongerWizard 317, then you, to put it bluntly, deserve to die.

The PC gamer is the festering boil on the foot of the games industry for innumerable reasons. We want you to hate these people, so, in a David Attenborough-style, here is what to look for when hunting the PC gamer.

Firstly, they’re nerds. Pure and unadulterated. And they aren’t even the good kind of nerd. They are the sort of people who talk in hacker talk (the saddest language known to exist), use terms like ROLFMAO, and say LOL in public instead of laughing. Every second word they type is interspersed with a

If it were just this nerdy undertones, we could handle it. After all, there are many sad *******s who do all of the above and wouldn’t touch Quake with a 40-foot barge pole. No, the real problem with PC gamers come when one, foolishly, attempts to enter into a gaming conversation with them.

In truth, they aren’t even gamers. The only games that matter to them are Quake, Unreal Tournament and maybe, just maybe, StarCraft. All other applicants can go to hell. Especially if they are on a console -- the PC gamer regards a console as a ‘toy’, unlike their PIII, 700 Mhz, Voodoo 4, Super-Dooper fragging machine, which Daddy probably bought for them.

The PC gamer refuses to accept that any console game could be good. GoldenEye? Pssh, it’s ‘too slow’ and runs at only 20 FPS, and you have to use the N64’s ‘crap’ controller to play it. Mario 64? Hah! You can’t kill anything in it -- ergo, it’s crap. Tekken? Only two players -- so 1990.

And, of course, if one attempts to show them the light and smack some sense into their stupid, Quake-loving hides, they only respond with ROLFMAO and sad, desperate, nerdy insults.

The PC gamer typically also likes to play pirated games, because God forbid he’d pay for them. He also trades in warez, ROMs and vast quantities of porn. In his spare time, he enjoys creating viruses so that he can screw up other peoples computers and show how smart he thinks he is. Nerds.

I appeal to everyone, young and old, male and female, to hate the PC gamer. These pathetic losers are the real reason games are still seen as a geeky pastime. Detest these sad *******s who only leave their computer to watch the latest episode of Babylon 5. Hate the sort of person who spends hundreds of pounds updating his PC just so he can be a Low Ping ******* and run Quake that little bit faster.

You people are the filth of the games industry, and everyone -- absolutely everyone -- else hates you. Please, for all our sakes, grab some real rocket launchers and play a real-life game of Quake amongst yourselves. That’s something we can all enjoy.

So, basically they are calling you 'the pompous, geeky, never-had-a-girlfriend nerds of the videogames industry: PC gamers. '

And this is coming from a site run by a 15 year old......

Jamie

Hobbes

Some gurl prolly turned him down because he's a no lifer console freak.

Daddy didn't buy my computer lets see you buy one when your CV says "Can beat Mario Brothers 6" on it.

That has to be satire, no one is that stupid?

Monty - the one and only

OMG!!!!! I hope hes not serious, there goes the last bit of respect any one ever had for him....ever.


and my daddy didnt buy my pc either!!!!

oh and noel heres a shocker for you i loved goldeneye, it is one of the best games that ive played....

[This message has been edited by Monty - the one and only (edited 25-10-2000).]

MiCr0

i think he's right,
if i ever meet one one of those nerds
i'll slap him so hard face will go to /dev/null

/me goes off to edit his config, to nuke the author

Hobbes

I'm reading some of the other stories and they seem incorrect.

Funcom is not an Oslo business they are in fact American. They were at one time from Oslo but they moved thier whole main offices to USA (a long time ago).

£20,000 a year for a game developer in Ireland. Fuk now I know why they are all emigrating.



[This message has been edited by Hobbes (edited 25-10-2000).]

Nitro-G

Noel didn't write this stuff, someone else did for him. I think its one of the few original parts of his site.

No wonder with him printing shyte like this that he is not the most liked person in the industry in Ireland.

The PS2 launch last night was brilliant, have a look at the models which I took the photos of > More to come on the site soon



Jamie

Nitro-G

Just a quick note in case anyone *cough* Noel *cough* uses any images from the party, that I have copyright on them. anyone else who wants further info, just ask.

Jamie

Asuka

I would sincerely like to know how anyone could be so stupid. And bitter. He has a serious problem.

Only one other thing...

use terms like ROLFMAO,

I think he'll find that it's 'ROFLMAO' actually

A

Shiminay

ROFL - nerd and proud. What's it to ya Mark O' Driscoll (if that is your reals name!!!).

I like consoles, but the simple fact that you can't tweak/ha><0r them means I'm not serious about them.

I think a lot of PC playa's feel this way about them. Goldeneye - good game. I find it difficult to get used to the controls after so long on mouse and keys.

Neol - if you're erading, get your firned Mar to make a post here and defend himself or confirm that he was indeed taking the urine.

---

All the best,

Nitro-G

Not that it matters much, I forgot the disclaimer

*Please Note* 'You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry' is written by a journalist totally independent of the Game-Ireland team. We would therefore like to add that the opinions expressed within are not necessarily shared by the GI team.

Hmm, shouldn't this left be considering most of the people who are visiting his website THROUGH A DAMN PC might just be PC gamers?

1 word - idiot

Jamie

Nitro-G

I hate to ask this, but I must

I know I got a hammering about my site a while ago, but apart from more content (I dont have the time to be honest, damn LC), any comments both good, bad, and downright evil about Irish Player?

Jamie

Hobbes

Well my friend "Laughed out Loud" when he read it on his N64.

Incidently, if daddy bought the PC wouldn't he also buy the console? $300 is a lot of money for a PS2 considering you can get a high spec Atholon for $500 (with DVD).

Blitzkrieger

I thought they shut down due to lack of interest?

Bad-mouthing the only people who are likely to read the site is probably not a good idea.

Quick poll - How many people have a console and like both PC Gaming and Console gaming?

O - and what's a VooDoo 4?

Hecate

well I have both (pc and dreamcast) so according to NB's logic I must be some sort of missing link, sub-human not-quite-nerd. With bad teeth.

Seriously though, I have the console because theres some stuff that a pc just cant do or provide (fighting games mostly).

hang on a sec, I noticed they're affiliated with Daily Radar, explains a lot

[This message has been edited by Hecate (edited 26-10-2000).]

Nitro-G

I have a PC, Dreamcast, N64, PSX, soon to be PS2 (remember, I run a games website, heh free games <G> )

Oh, remember GI used to be associated with Total Video Games or something? A couple of weeks ago, there was a big fuss on Noel's boards, because he got caught nicking stuff from their archives, apparantly there was some agreement that noone knew about. When people started to mention that his reviews seemed uncanningly like those out of CVG magazine, plus that Irish people do not call Autumn 'Fall' in newspieces, he promptly shut down the thread, and I think another one or three popped up, and suddenly Noel kicked everyone off, and made it so that all registrations had to go through him!

What a disenchanted little boy. He actually sent me an email a while back stating

(I had told him he has no chance in the industry in Ireland)

Snip
Fact is, I may have dug myself a hole but I
don't care about that either.
Journalism is just a hobby for me and I have absolutely no plans to follow
it as a career.

I didn't reply that Journalism is doing your own work...

Also, after he had accused me of getting a free Dreamcast off Sega for giving 'better quality reviews' (if they had, I'd have saved myself £200), and I had laughed and informed him that practically everyone I have spoken to has asked me if I was associated with his 'crowd', he said

Snip
I don't really give a ****e about games publishers hating me and GI. That's the difference between our sites, you're out to please people, I'm out to **** them off.


Pity really, with a different editor GI would actually be a decent site, if actually people wrote their own stuff for the majority of it.

At least with mine, what little is there is my own work or my humble staff of mates who get work done about as quickly as an asmatic ant carrying some heavy shopping (Black Adder, series 4 <G> )

Oh dear. Anyway, I'm going to get in touch with Dev about PoG, a much better site imo.

Sorry about the waffle, I'll shut up now

Jamie

Nitro-G

The funny thing is, that although Noel didn't write the article, if anything is to be believed about his staff, they are all either pc gamers (ie geeks who dont get out much), console heads (god knows what), or just like Noel, a mix. And if I am also correct in believing anything, he has a PS2 (which he hates), a Dreamcast (for fags), a N64 (for kids) and a PC (for geeks).

What does this make him?

A Facist Fag who likes playing with kids toys who conveniently is also a geek who doesn't get out much?

And he is an editor? I thought editors are supposed to screen what goes on their own s(h)ite. Very disturbing.

Jamie

Mik Hammy

Originally posted by Nitro-G:

A Facist Fag who likes playing with kids toys who conveniently is also a geek who doesn't get out much?

And he is an editor? I thought editors are supposed to screen what goes on their own s(h)ite. Very disturbing.

It's a bit sad to see that there is so little games coverage in Ireland.
And then, where there is, it's plagued by all this site-rivalry stuff.

Are there ANY good Irish resources for an Irish games player?

---

We've got to work together, C'mon!
IP and GI

Noel Brady

Believe me, there's no site rivalry on my side. I just worry about my site which is doing fine and, as long as it's doing fine, I'm doing fine.

Regarding Jamie's attack, see my reply on the thread titled ''Jamie's vendetta''.

Now, if we could just leave all of this bull$**** at the door anymore and get on with talking about games instead of rivalries and personal vendettas.

Thanks once more for the promotion anyway Jamie. Our hits actually rose by 5% for no apparent reason on the day you posted this. Now we know why.

Noel Brady www.game-ireland.com

Noel Brady

Btw, you all seem to be overlooking one thing.

I didn't write the article and the disclaimer even notes that most of the GI staff do not agree with the views of Mark Driscoll, including myself.

Those articles are there just to make some people laugh. If you took offence, we apologise but I think there's always room for something a little lighthearted on a site.

Noel Brady www.game-ireland.com

Noel Brady

Hobbes,

Funcom were founded in Oslo and have always been based there. They also have studios in Dublin and the US but they will always be Oslo-based.

That article (Games Development In Ireland) should be particularly correct as it was written by Malachy Duffin, who is one of the main men in nIGMA himself. None of the GI staff had anything to do with writing it (Note the disclaimer at the bottom).

Noel Brady www.game-ireland.com

Hobbes

Originally posted by Noel Brady:
Hobbes,

Funcom were founded in Oslo and have always been based there. They also have studios in Dublin and the US but they will always be Oslo-based.

Seeing as I'm a bit of an online RPG tinfoil axe wielding freak I read quite a number of RPG related sites.

Funcom moved thier main offices back in September to North Carolina and increased thier dev staff there to help in the rollout of AO (More then likely QA staff at this point my guess).

Taken from Lum the Mad's news site.

FUNCOM TO MOVE TO US, NORWAY CRIES UNCONTROLLABLY
Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 3:03 PM Filed by lum
Gamespot is running the story that in preparation for the Anarchy Online rollout, Funcom, its publisher, is moving lock, stock and barrel from Oslo to North Carolina.

Funcom explained to GameSpot that the move is intended to bring the company closer to the US gaming market, as the unlimited access that's common in the US has made online gaming particularly popular here. Funcom also expects that the move will make it easier to offer effective customer service for Anarchy Online.

Btw games developers make a hell of a lot more then 20K a year. If that's all they are making in Ireland then I don't expect that many people to be lining up for a job.



[This message has been edited by Hobbes (edited 28-10-2000).]

DeVore

I *would* like you two to bury the hatchet.
You can start by not responding about how either of you "has already buried the hatchet and really its him who is at fault".

On the article: Its entitled "You Wouldnt Like Me When I'm Angry"

Its clearly supposed to be a rant. Its not wildly amusing but thats not really their Noels fault.

one point about it :

The PC gamer refuses to accept that any console game could be good. GoldenEye? Pssh, it’s ‘too slow’ and runs at only 20 FPS, and you have to use the N64’s ‘crap’ controller to play it. Mario 64? Hah! You can’t kill anything in it -- ergo, it’s crap. Tekken? Only two players -- so 1990.

This is bang on the money. Ironically the author has IMHO just nailed it!

Could you play Everquest, HalfLife, Shogun, Anarchy Online on a console? Probably but it wouldnt be much fun or AS much fun.

My response to the article ??

pfff get a mouse, console-fanboy

DeVore.

Mik Hammy

Personally, I find nothing less immersive than playing a game with a mouse, looking at a monitor screen.

It's like having a sign taped up in front of you saying 'Do not get immersed in this'.

---

We've got to work together, C'mon!
IP and GI

Noel Brady

Sorry about that Hobbes. It appears I was mistaken. However, that article was written back in August when Funcom were in Oslo so it was factually correct at the time of going to press.

Regarding burying the hatchet, there's nothing I'd rather do. However, I cannot fulfill your other wish and not blame Jamie for what has happened. I have never attacked him or his website publically with libellous claims, that are downright lies in an effort to degrade his site, while he continues to do this to me and GI.

Quite frankly, the staff of GI and I have decided that a stop must be put to this once and for all and that is why a solicitor has now been contacted. As far as I'm concerned, I have nothing to do with this anymore. Jamie can discuss it with our legal representatives.

He's already had one too many chances as it is. After all, TP Media threatened court on GI for saying that Neil McGreevy was ''lazy'' in a sarcastic interview question. I'm all for free press and people taking the **** out of others, but he's going too far by trying to ruin reputations.

Everything he says above is lies from calling me 15 to accusing GI ONCE MORE of stealing articles. Let him engage in his childish tit-for-tat with a few well-dressed university graduates.

Noel Brady www.game-ireland.com

Stephen

Noel, all the bull$hit between you and jamie aside -

That article is in no way "humourous" or "light-hearted". Its a steaming pile of donkey crap.

I'm 18. I bought my own computer. "Daddy" didn't buy it.

In truth, they aren’t even gamers. The only games that matter to them are Quake, Unreal Tournament and maybe, just maybe, StarCraft. All other applicants can go to hell

I am a PC gamer. I don't play any of those games. I play Half-Life and various mods for it, and some other games like Carmageddon 2 and so on.

I don't despise console games or console gamers.

I know you didn't write that article, but as editor of the site... Do you have any fúcking sense at all? And involving lawyers in this quarrel between you and Jamie/Nitro-G ... christ's sake, that's just sheer muppetry.

You and your site have lost all respect.

As Shinji would say...
"Get some skillz"

---

- Munch


[This message has been edited by Stephen (edited 29-10-2000).]

logic1

I think ye should take your cue from dev. PoG is IMHO one of the best gamers sites around. I beieve it was the base for sites like fortress and I'm not sure which came first boards or pog but this network of sites provide some of the best games coverage in ireland. Never once have I seen such a childish and immature article published anywhere on an of the sites mentioned above. The lads that run those sites are always calm, composed and level headed. Absolutely no petty sniping involved. I think the amount of friction in this thread shows that the editors of the sites involved may be feeling rather insecure in their own material and rightly so.
It wasn't even humorous, it was trash put out for a shock reaction and as you said your 5% hit increase.

.logic.

LegacyUser

I'm 4 b1g l33t n3rD.
I h4v3 l0@ds 0f Pr0n 0n mY ROM.

Rather.

---

It's about a society in freefall....

bubbles

I havn't laughed so much ever when reading this thread.... True most ppl here are nerds and what you say is true, but look at the alternative...

Little scumbag ****ers with no education, or any chance of getting a job who can just about put a cd in a playstation, press buttons and know **** all on whats going on, while calling "Anto" over to play split screen, which totally sucks compared to online multiplayer gaming.
And indeed the same stupid scumbag ****er probably can't even change the extreamly limited options that come with the game - not that you can change anything else.

Alot of games on consoles are fun, but to slag PC users as being nerds... I'd rather be a well paid, porn collecting half intelligent nerd than be some w@nker scumbag who left school after his Junior cert who has the I.Q. of a monkey drinking 40p a can beer while trying to figure out a game that uses more than 2 buttons.

And that I think you will find is hitting the nail on the head.

As for game-Ireland... its obvious some 12 year old kid who 5pE4Ks |33t h4X0r talk could pull a better site out of his ass if thats the sort of **** they post up.
And for the 2nd time ever I have actually checked out your site.. and indeed it is ****, just as I consider you a ****head Mr. Noel.



[This message has been edited by bubbles (edited 29-10-2000).]

SantaHoe

Again... aside from the web-site rivalry stuff (don't know - don't care)

It's hard to imagine what was going on inside the head of the nerd who wrote that article.
Fair enough, it was an angry rant, but the words - exaggerated, uninformed, one-sided, and pointless instantly spring to mind.
And I'm sure there are PC gamers out there just like that, but it's pretty sad to portray the whole PC games scene based on his most negative experiences.
I don't mind reading a rant, just so long as it's fair, and has a point.

I'm a PC gamer, yet:
{a}. bought my own PC (and consoles).
{b}. have never downloaded warez games.
{c}. love GoldenEye and Mario64.
{d}. own N64, PSX, DC, MD.

I think there are a huge number of PC gamers like me, that might read that and take offense.

---

Also...

Originally posted by Mik Hammy:
Personally, I find nothing less immersive than playing a game with a mouse, looking at a monitor screen.

I haven't found it a problem at all, I managed to get pretty immersed in Deus Ex.
Don't worry, after a few months of PC gaming, you feel incomplete without a mouse and keyboard

PS. ROLFLOL etc....

---

wazzzaaaap!

[This message has been edited by FrontPage-Express (edited 29-10-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Dead{o}Santa (edited 29-10-2000).]

Cake Fiend

Originally posted by Mik Hammy:
Personally, I find nothing less immersive than playing a game with a mouse, looking at a monitor screen.

It's like having a sign taped up in front of you saying 'Do not get immersed in this'.

You prefer playing Perfect Dark at 20 frames per second on a flickery TV with a gritty amputee joystick?

Swinga

ok here comes the post from the idiot american:

now, to put this into perspective, i quite often spend my afternoons between school and dates/play rehersal in my buddy's basement playing n64 and ps1 ((and now some ps2 as well)) with about 8 other people ((actually a mix between guys and chicks.)) Anybody who frequents the boards probably knows that i'm a hardcore computer gamer. however, "the world is not enough" is an awesome game, and ((if i could figure out how to jump strafe efficiently)) would rival even half-life. now my buddy jake just sneers when he sees how bad i am at bond, and says "oh, there's no way you can be a good gamer." and then my buddy dan pipes up and says "hehe...just take him on at a lan sometime..." Now, some of you may or may not know dan as Nidkikker. he ocassionally used to play on IGN's TFC server , along with any quake2 CTF server i was on, and anybody who was stupid enough to play him in r6. to put his r6 skills into perspective, he has not been seen on the zone in about a year and a half, and is still one of the top 50 most wanted players by clans ((at one point i believe he got as high as #6)).

this is hardcore gaming. the guys who sit around, drink a case of mt. dew ((beer if we can find some...)) with their buddies, and get backrubs from sexy girls all the while playing bond, and can just as easily sit at home in their freezing houses, playing half-life at all hours of the night, on a server that is half a world away.

for all of you who computer gamers who frown upon console gamers, and all of you console gamers who somehow feel superior to pc gamers, i say "fûck off!"

now...pc gamers...geeks who can't get a date to save their life....whoever said that was a complete jerkoff idiot! my buddy dan ((as mentioned before)) has a girlfriend that is to die for. my buddy scott ((who was crowned the '97 DragonCon quake2 lan king)) is engaged to a beautiful and well off woman. i, ((who have played an assortment of games including, but not limited to, goldeneye, the world is not enough, quake, quake2, quake3, half-life, r6, starcraft, carmageddon, aoe, aoe-ror, aeo2, crimson skies, rogue spear, etc...)) seem to be endowed with a power to attract hte most sexy women around me...((being completely serious on that one boys and girls...))

while i'm ranting on that...who else can i cite that you all probably know....ToiletFlush, aka Dante...i think we can safely say he's a lady's man....Dogmop, aka Alan..him too. hell, even Lump, aka John...Even he gets women!! so where, exactly, do you get off saying that pc gamers are geeks who have no lives??

daddy bought my computer....NO! my parents couldn't even afford the case for this POS that i use...to say nothing of the entire computer!! i've had to cobble together ((and ocassionally steal)) the parts for this badass. and i'm only 16!!

however...daddy bought my n64...yes!! well, i don't have one, but this is how a lot of youngsters nowadays would answer.


well, i'm tired, as it's 1:15 in the morning here ((or is it 12:15....ah well))...so i'm gonna stop ranting and go to bed...ciao all

-that laggy little redheaded american,
crory/swinga/whatever

[This message has been edited by Swinga (edited 29-10-2000).]