Liverpool Jokes!

Kone

Liverpool Fc Jokes

LizardKing

Template for them jokes can be used for any team on a bad run

[Insert Manger here] was caught speeding on his way to Anfield today. When
questioned he said, "I'll do anything for 3 points".

How many [Insert Team here] fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None,
they're all happy living in the shadows.

Why do [Insert Team here] fans put team stickers on their cars?
So they can park in the handicapped spots

A man desperate at [Insert Team here] 's current situation decides to top
himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the

very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full [Insert Team here] kit as his

last statement. Neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident,
informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the [Insert Team here]

kit and dress the man in
stockings and suspenders. The man,totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow
White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a
voice Shoutsout "[Insert Team here] are good enough to win the League." Snow
White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Apparently, [Insert Manger here] offered to send the [Insert Team here] squad on an
all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to
Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.


Police recenlty quizzed [Insert Player here] about an alleged attack on a
Pregnant lady. When asked why he attacked the woman, he replied: "I
never Realised she
was
pregnant, I thought that it was a 50-50 ball that she had up her
jumper!"

What is the difference between the Elephant man and [Insert Player here]? The
Elephant Man has a better chance of scoring.

[Insert Manger here] was wheeling his shopping trolley across the
supermarket Carpark when he noticed an old lady struggling with her
shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old

lady replied, "no way you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to
sort it out!"

A bloke goes into the [Insert Airport here] and manages to eventually get

into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All
around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer
terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on
the floor. "Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground
crew. "Oh yeah...", he replies "Absolutely hopeless .... we had the
[Insert Team here] players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".

Kone

Reminds of a quote!

'Oww, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment! Go, go for the good of the city' - Comic Book Guy

yop

Ya but what makes them really funny is the word liverpool and GH inserted in them quotes!

Dcully

This yop bloke never misses a chance to bad mouth anything liverpool related

PiE

Originally posted by Dcully
This yop bloke never misses a chance to bad mouth anything liverpool related

...or spout unintelligible shite.

Samba

lol, youd swear some of you were deeply offended.


Good jokes not matter who you apply them to

Kone

G'wan the Samba

cournioni

Originally posted by PiE
...or spout unintelligible shite.

haha... I seem to find some of the stuff he's saying to be true...

yop

****e or no ****e, it is the truth!