Life is Tougher if You're Stupid

JohnK

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a
few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl
had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she
said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've
changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today. " She said "OK" and I
paid
her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just
happened.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you
need some help? I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door UN-locker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
copies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I
asked
the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed
the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the
truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONCLUSION: "Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

hussey

all true stories!

Big Chief

the thing about the cruise control

an american guy did that and went in the back to sleep, he then crashed into a field if i remember right..

He then proceeded to sue the company for not putting it on the brouchure thingy that you couldnt do that, he won money + a new camper van and the company were made to print out on the leaflet/manual that "cruise control dosent drive your camper for you" on the back. They still have to put it on it to this day


americans disgust me at times :rolleyes:


(true story that i seen on tv or something ^^, cant remember every last detail though)

hussey

I remember some-one sued Mc D's over their coffee being too hot, basically the guy spilt coffee over himself and sues them .. and they had to put that 'Caution Hot' on their cups

hedgetrimmer

Not forgetting the US case where somebody sued a US Airline after they gave him a packet of peaNUTS, which he ate, then had his pretty serious but usual reaction against the peaNUTS, as he is allergic to nuts.

Peanut bags on US airlines (and other places in the world) now contain a warning "MAY CONTAIN NUTS"

The warning is worrying too..."may"?

Pugsley

Originally posted by hedgetrimmer
Not forgetting the US case where somebody sued a US Airline after they gave him a packet of peaNUTS, which he ate, then had his pretty serious but usual reaction against the peaNUTS, as he is allergic to nuts.

Peanut bags on US airlines (and other places in the world) now contain a warning "MAY CONTAIN NUTS"

The warning is worrying too..."may"?

So THATS where that came from!!

Some great oens in there btw.

Victor

Originally posted by hedgetrimmer
Not forgetting the US case where somebody sued a US Airline after they gave him a packet of peaNUTS, which he ate, then had his pretty serious but usual reaction against the peaNUTS, as he is allergic to nuts. Peanut bags on US airlines (and other places in the world) now contain a warning "MAY CONTAIN NUTS" The warning is worrying too..."may"?

Peanuts aren't nuts, they are simply similar to nuts and use the same handling / packing equipment. And McDonalds coffee is kept much hotter than other coffee.

http://www.atlanet.org/consumermediaresources/tier3/press_room/facts/frivolous/McdonaldsCoffeecase.aspx

Mr_Roger_Bongos

A classic joke my m8 tells is, say you have a particularly stupid friend, or a slow one at that, tehn you use them as the person. Say "chada" (boards poster (heh got u chada!)).

" Here, did you hear about chada in the pizza shop?, the waiter asked him wether we wanted his pizza "cut into 6 or 12 slices?", chada replied "only 6 please, i dont think i could eat 12".




I take it none of you heard the case, where a morbidly obese person, was suing mcdonalds for causing her obesity, with their irresistable fast food products.

The case got thrown out.

Velvet Vocals

Sure someone in England bit in to a McD's apple pie and burnt their lip and tongue and they sued and one also!
No wonder McD's are in financial trouble.

Krusty_Clown

An Irish girl sued one of the drinks manufacturers a couple of years ago, for cutting her lip on the can, while she was drinking...

If memory serves me correctly, she was awarded IR6K.
Said she couldn't go out, because of the facial disfigurement.

It's a sad society we live in...

domeara01

there are people who are so moneyhungry that they will scour everything to see if they can sue for anything

Barry Aldwell

Originally posted by satansdaman
there are people who are so moneyhungry that they will scour everything to see if they can sue for anything

Which is why no win-no fee law firms are illegal. If people can lose money through their bogus lawsuits then they're less likely to do it, especially as most bogus cases are thrown out.

Kell

This doesnt have to be America. I suggest the next time you are all at McD's to ask for 12 nuggets. You will be politely told that there are no 12's, just 6, 9 and 18's. It doesnt go down well when I ask them what 6+6 is.

Victor

Originally posted by Barry Aldwell
Which is why no win-no fee law firms are illegal. If people can lose money through their bogus lawsuits then they're less likely to do it, especially as most bogus cases are thrown out.

You can have a "no foal, no fee" arrangement, however don't expect to recover your costs. Advertising of "no foal, no fee" arrangements is now restricted.

Mad_Patrick

I'm reminded of another case involving McDonalds. A woman sued for slipping on a drink on the floor and won. Pretyy simple eh? Not quiet, the woman had actually had an argument with her boyfriend, threw her drink in his face and stormed out, slipping on the drink she had just thrown.

domeara01

its like i was in college and my phone fell in behind a door which could not close so i went up to the receptionist and asked him for assistance in getting my phone. it went something like this,


Me: Can you help me get my phone from behind that door.

Receptionist (male): A Mobile Phone?oh god.

Me: No my ****in house phone. I Carry it around with me all the time.

Receptionist: oh right why do you do that?

Me: Did you ever hear of Sarchasm. i was being sarchastic.

Receptionist: Oh right then. The caretaker will be around here somewhere.

Me: Any idea where he is?

R: Well around the college somewhere i would imagine.

Me: thaks very much. you have been as much help as talking to a door.

pyure

haha satansdaman i laugh at you for being rude and annoying !
and i hope that with sweet justice you're phone was taken by mice to their secret underground society and worshipped as a god, inciting the mice to overrun your college...

or not

Sterile Fish

lol, gg laed, good one