Quotes from the celebraties

jonno · 24-01-2003 10:24pm #1

Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake whole relationships."
-- Sharon Stone

“Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome,
but I think of it as the only time of the month
that I can be myself."
-- Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
-- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied.
A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
-- Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams

"Instead of getting married again,
I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart

"There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that many men are having
allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
-- Dustin Hoffman

"According to a new survey, women say they feel
more comfortable undressing in front of men
than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
-- Robert De Niro

honeymonster · 25-01-2003 5:00pm

Originally posted by jonno

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams

its funny cause its true

domeara01 · 26-01-2003 6:59am

hry there brilliant.
pepto bismol for all.

Neil3030 · 26-01-2003 1:03pm

Was expecting some, Mariah Carey like, profound statements of ignorence and stupidity but to be fair they are actually very witty!

Pld:)

Pugsley · 26-01-2003 11:57pm

"There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that many men are having
allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
-- Dustin Hoffman

rofl! some great ones there.