Mixed marriages

silja

As some of you know, I am a Wiccan Highpriestess. My religion is very important to me, and permeates most of what I do. I have now fallen in love with and recently got engaged to a practising Christian (not Catholic). Now, from my point of view our differing religions are not a problem, especially as both our religions have no child baptism, so the kids could choose their own religion when older; I would certainly have no problem with the kids going to church with him on Sundays.

However, it does bother me that, if he is honest, he really feels that I will be going to hell when I die- and how is he going to explain that to our children, that mommy will go to hell? I guess what I am looking for here is your experiences with inter-faith relationships, especially with Christians, and how they worked out, what the pitfalls were etc.

Blessed be: silja

Talliesin

Can't answer your question, but congrats on the engagement.

When are we going to see the ring?

Nevyn

Congratulations

Being Married or in a serious long term relationship there are
usually a lot more bumps in the road then just this one and hopefully this will be the worst of them for you both.

Originally posted by silja
I guess what I am looking for here is your experiences with inter-faith relationships, especially with Christians, and how they worked out, what the pitfalls were etc.

Inter-faith relationships will not just between the two of you but there is also the other people that will ( hopefully) play a part in you lil ones loves and lives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles cousins
et. But how much they need to know will depend on how close to them you will be.

Our parents know and all my childerns aunts and uncles for they are a big part of my childerns lives and pop in a lot The older family members like my Own aunts and uncles on a few know those I am close to. We did manage to get through this Christmas/Yule with out any mention of the fact neither of my children are baptised.

hopefully this has not set you into a panic , I guess you have to get things sorted out between the two of you first and formosts so that you can tackle the greater family as a united front.

You need to seriously and if possible deicde where the lines are that are to be formed and those that should not be crossed.
But saying stuff like

Originally posted by silja
he really feels that I will be going to hell when I die- and how is he going to explain that to our children, that mommy will go to hell?

Will be very non-productive and hurtful to yourselves and the children. ( see you have not even had any yet and they have complicated your lives )

I have friends of mine that are mixed as in Catholic and Anglican and signed an agreement with each other stating that they will not try and sway their children either way nor run each others faith/beliefs down.

As for him in fact being worried about you going to Hell most likely it stems from his love for you. He would like to think that when you are joined in marriage that if either of you where to depart this life before the other that you could be reunited in heaven.
And sure what is he going to do if your not there ?

What are your wedding plans are you going to play it safe and just have a civil ceremony or are you going to have a white church wedding ( yikes but who knows.....)?
Is your intended so much a Christian that he would not take part in a hand fasting with you ?
Or let you have one and not invite his family?

Having a wiccan blessing is one way to introduce your beliefs to the family that is if Great aunt Mary wont have heart failure

What will happen when you want to have celebrations or coven meeting in your home ?
or Coven members coming to your home?

Having children can make getting out to places a lot hard esp. when they are very young. Also celebrating in your home with your children when you have them is wonderful for they see all life and the world as magical it would be hard if they know daddy completely disapproves.

As for my personal situation I consider my self a hedge wiccan and a kitchen witch ; my partner and father of my two darling brats is still undecided in what he believes not Christian but had not found his path yet, but he is very supportive and happy to have people over and celebrate as a family .

Hopefully I have not put you off both getting married and having children But that i have given you a few things to ponder so that you can work out an agreement between you both for your futures and that of your children to come so that you have a happy loud and mostly harmonious lives.

Best wishes

Thaed

Yoda

Originally posted by silja
However, it does bother me that, if he is honest, he really feels that I will be going to hell when I die ? and how is he going to explain that to our children, that mommy will go to hell?

Good heavens, your fiancé needs to learn how to read. "Heaven" and "Hell" aren't even part of Jesus' message. "The Kingdom of Heaven" is best understood as a state of consciousness or spiritual exaltation, equivalent to Nirvana and the like. Get him a copy of the Gospel of Thomas and get him to look into mystical traditions of Christianity. "Where do we go when we die?" Well it sure isn't a binary choice of paradise vs punishment. That insidious belief is responsible for more trouble ? from witchburning to suicide bombers.

silja

Thaed says

Is your intended so much a Christian that he would not take part in a hand fasting with you?

We have not finalised details yet, but most likely we will have a a Wiccan handfasting and no Christian ceremony; his own church would not marry us as I am not a Christian. However, I would like to incorporate some Christian oaths and bible quotes into the ceremony to honour his faith, so it will probably end up being interfaith (I am writing the ceremony myself as I have some considerable experience with this, but we will get someone else to perform it).

Thaed says

What will happen if you want to have celebrations or coven meeting in your home?

He would have no problem with that; unlike my ex, Robert believes in magick and many Gods, because it is written in the bible.

Yoda says

get him to look into mystical traditions of Christianity

No, he would not be interested in that, as he is a firm believer in the bible as written; then again, he also believes in evolution.

Thanks all for your input, it is appreciated. It is funny, nothing about this relationship is how I ever imagined things would be between me and a partner... but it is going very well- I guess the Goddess has a sense of humour!