made me laugh

hussey · 30-01-2003 10:27am #1

A man goes to a vet with his pet dog, who has a soor tooth,

he hands the dog over to the vet, who says
"I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to put him down"
"Why? It's only a toothache!"
"Cause he's danm heavy, thats why!"

domeara01 · 30-01-2003 11:57am

that was just sad.
sad sad sad sad i tell you

eddhorse · 30-01-2003 2:25pm

thats a classic tommy cooper line, brill:D

Dazzer · 30-01-2003 3:15pm

Excellent

I give this thread a 4 star rating!

Mad_Patrick · 03-02-2003 8:18pm

Heard it before but I don't care coz I laughed at it, quiet hartily

Space Coyote · 03-02-2003 8:48pm

Just a few more Tommy Cooper classics...
"I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?".
He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check
tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take that as a
condiment".

Do you know I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school
bags, he's bisatchel.

But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to
pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said
"Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her
up, I said "Do you get my drift?".

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a
complaint,this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with
a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter,
I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a
competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar.

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a
catholic converter.

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?".