Planes

Turner · 31-01-2003 2:23am #1

This is probably an oldie..

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is
mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get
bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get
smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the
Stick all the way back, then they get bigger
again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's
dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you
were up there than up there wishing you were down
here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when
you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the
plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops,
you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one
has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk
away. A 'great' landing is one after which they
can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't
live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if
it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely
proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle
of arrival, small probability of survival and vice
versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your
brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone
keeps talking about might be another airplane
going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources
also report that mountains have been known to hide
out in clouds. (The correct meteorological
terminology for clouds with mountains in them is
"cumulus granite").

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you
make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a
smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what
they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty
bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of
experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly
the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground
that's going round and round and all you can hear
is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should
be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of
aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the
ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has
yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience.
Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from
bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end
going forward as much as possible. (A-6 pilots
have a problem with this one).

22. Keep looking around. There's always something
you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea.
It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The four most useless things to a pilot are
the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas
back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold
pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.