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Elvis

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  • 31-01-2003 12:10pm
    #1
    ayatollah
    Registered Users Posts: 1,234 ✭✭✭


    Proofs that Elvis was Jesus in a previous life...

    Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
    Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

    Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
    Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

    Jesus was part of the Trinity.
    Elvis' first band was a trio.

    Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
    Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

    Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
    Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

    Jesus was resurrected.
    Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

    Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John
    7:37)
    Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

    Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
    Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

    Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
    Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

    Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to
    Matthew) Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A
    Golden Tribute)

    "[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow."
    (Matthew 28:3)
    Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

    Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
    Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

    Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
    Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate
    Conception High School.

    Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
    Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still
    considered to be his foremost recordings.

    Jesus was the lamb of God.
    Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

    Jesus' Father is everywhere.
    Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

    Jesus was a carpenter.
    Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

    Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
    Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.


    Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
    Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

    No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
    No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

    Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
    Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.


    It makes you wonder doesn't it...???


Comments

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    #2
    ShayK1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,602 ✭✭✭ShayK1


    strange individual aren't ya??


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    #3
    Hobart
    Registered Users Posts: 4,839 ✭✭✭Hobart


    Originally by ayatollah
    It makes you wonder doesn't it...???
    It sure does!. But not about Elvis.


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    #4
    woosaysdan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,093 ✭✭✭woosaysdan


    weird very weird!


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    #5
    dedoublya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭dedoublya


    since when is jesus: Jesus H Christ? where did the h come from?


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    #6
    Evil Jose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭Evil Jose


    You really dont be well at the best of times do, ya? :D


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    #7
    gogo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭gogo


    Ha ha, I thought that was funny.
    :D
    gogo


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    #8
    Carbiens
    Closed Accounts Posts: 593 ✭✭✭Carbiens


    that sucked!!!11


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    #9
    darthmise
    Closed Accounts Posts: 622 ✭✭✭darthmise


    Originally posted by dedoublya
    since when is jesus: Jesus H Christ? where did the h come from?

    His middle name was Holy.


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