Cheating- YES or NO ?

Yavvy · 31-01-2003 5:04pm #1

When we have conversations with people we might know and more to the point when information can get back to our partners we denounce cheating as an evil practice.
In fact I think cheating is an evil practice...I have been on the wrong end of it a couple of times. However.... I have cheated in the past and been caught and cheated and got away with it.

Every time I have cheated I have been forgiven or they didn’t find out. Im in the position to once again cheat and Im thinking "why not", If I dont get away with it Ill be forgiven.

I love my Gf dearly, but the girl I have the chance to "click with" is a total fox, infact she looks like Britney and dances like Christina...know what I mean ...So anywho, does anyone have any thoughts on the whole subject.

Over view of the situation

Girlfriend - Lovely woman, I will marry her one day
The Girl - Total FOX, I mean AMAZING ( but no more than eye candy)
To cheat or not to cheat :
if im caught Ill be forgiven
If im not im laughing

Yeah yeah yeah I know im a pig....Oink oink baby

seamus · 31-01-2003 5:08pm

If you loved your gf as much as you say you wouldn't cheat. Period. There are no excuses; "I was too drunk, She was gorgeous" are all bull****. If you want to score gorgeous women spilt up with your gf. Simple.

Yavvy · 31-01-2003 5:14pm

Yeah I have considered that crap ...and Im wondering if I would actually go ahead with the cheating given the oppertunity.

But Really waht do you do when the woman your crazy about ..who does nothing wrong and is probally the most amazing person you have ever met isnt as good looking as
"some girl" you have a chance to have a bit of fun with.

Dampsquid · 31-01-2003 5:20pm

Never use the excuse that the girl you cheated with was "gorgeous"...

Go for it man, if your conscience can live with it then there is nothing to worry about.

koneko · 31-01-2003 5:20pm

Puh-lease, you don't "love your girlfriend dearly". If you did, you wouldn't even consider cheating.... at all.

Tell your gf now so she knows what you're like before she marries you. It doesn't sound like you'll ever change, you don't seem to think there's anything wrong with cheating. Your gf will be better off without you.

WhiteWashMan · 31-01-2003 5:21pm

go for it.
you obviously dont give a shít about your current girlfriend.

if you did, it wouldnt be an issue....

Lafortezza · 31-01-2003 5:23pm

Alany, you're voicing the thoughts that I'm sure the vast majority of blokes would have in that situation, some would think about it then dismiss it, some would think for about 2 secs then go for the casual sex and thinkabout repercussions later,

If you do go for the casual sex with this girl then weigh up the pros and cons

Pro: Sex with fox, might get away with it (gf doesn't find out) only guilt/conscience to deal with then

Con: if your gf does find out, you'll hurt the person you really care about (apparently), maybe she won't forgive you this time

Will it just be the one time sex with foxy chick? Might it become a regular thing?
What happens if your gf decides to look for her own bit of casual sex elsewhere (maybe as payback), how would you like them apples?

gl anyway
or pm me pics of foxy chick and let me decide

Tazz T · 31-01-2003 5:30pm

Just one kiss could lead to a situation you can't get out of. You'll hurt the woman you want to marry and the girl you want to use.

Not worth it. Would you want your gf to go with someone else because they were 'eye-candy' and end up being attached to them, and as a result, never marrying you.

Plus, if you get caught and 'forgiven' you will have lost her trust. Trust is the foundation on which every relationship is built.

Yavvy · 31-01-2003 5:35pm

harsh....I just said I was considering cheating and Im also just playing devils advocate.

Just so yall know, I have never cheated on my current GF, and im just thinking about the whole issue. There would be something wrong if i didnt think about it.

Then again you all probally have a good point, maybe I dont love my girlfriend at all..... ooooh there is something to think about.
I wonder....

***5 mins later****

Well thats opened a whole new can of worms
If what you people are saying is true, then even thinking about cheating means I cant really love my girlfriend ?
And if im thinking about it ( which I am) then I may as well lready finished with her...

On the other hand, What if this is the thing that makes me realise I do love her..or at least not want to cheat on her
and other people always say " you always hurt the one you love"

Ack...This is a tough problem, one worth thinking about.
Have a nice weekend everyone.

Kell · 31-01-2003 5:58pm

Mnnn- it's crossed my mind so many times it's not funny. I think I have cheated on every girl I have ever known and got away with it but my conscience aways gets the better of me and I tell them. Better that at least they respect you for being honest.

Personally, I wouldn't go so far as to say you dont love your GF. It's all perfectly male and natural to want a foxy chick to shag, but as to whether you've made up your mind and thought "Yes I want to go and pro-actively shag this girl" now thats a different matter. Has it crossed your mind that if the intention to cheat is there that you might just need to get out of the whole GF thing and got it alone for a while? Everyone needs a break from time to time to go and sow as many wild oats as possible.

spoofer · 31-01-2003 6:01pm

"Has it crossed your mind that if the intention to cheat is there that you might just need to get out of the whole GF thing and got it alone for a while?"

It looks like his mind is already made up and he is just looking for someone elses approval.

neuro-praxis · 31-01-2003 6:08pm

When you get to the stage with a person in a relationship where you've realised you could stay with them for good, then you have made a decision to love them, and to devote yourself to them. It's gone way beyond the infatuation and early stages of passion and 'falling in love' and gone into something way deeper, way more passionate, with a whole new quality of love to it.

If you love somebody, and are tempted by somebody else, this is natural. However, love isn't all about feelings. It's about actions. It's about being everything the other person needs.

Being tempted is normal.

Weighing up and then giving in is what makes you an unloving b@stard.

This isn't a case of, "Oh, wonder if I love her?"

If you love her, you know you do, and that's it.

If you cheat, you don't deserve her, and you will have betrayed and humiliated her. There is nothing loving about that.

So, make the loving decision, or just do her a favour and dump her.

Either way, grow the hell up. You put it quite aptly when you proudly declared yourself a pig.

DEATH CUBE · 31-01-2003 6:09pm

Just cheat, that's the way to do it.

Kell · 31-01-2003 6:11pm

Originally posted by neuro-praxis
Weighing up and then giving in is what makes you an unloving b@stard.

So, make the loving decision, or just do her a favour and dump her.

Either way, grow the hell up. You put it quite aptly when you proudly declared yourself a pig.

Meeeeooowwwwww!!

Kell · 31-01-2003 6:14pm

Hows this for size- how would your GF react if you said that you were going through an experimental phase and that you would like to have a ménage a trois with your GF and this girl you know. At least even get her to give into just one experience. If it works out, you could be on the gravy train. Sure if it doesn't then at least you can send us the picks of the first outing.

cournioni · 31-01-2003 6:20pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
go for it.
you obviously dont give a shít about your current girlfriend.

if you did, it wouldnt be an issue....

Thats what I was thinking when I saw Alany's first post.

Typedef · 31-01-2003 6:44pm

Ah ... daddy or chips?

What can I say mate, I think if you want to hook up with this other chick 'alot' then sure sleep with her, but, don't sleep with your current girlfriend after that.

In fact once you do sleep with this other chick, dump your current girlfriend, it 'covers' your bases and doesn't harm your current lover.

I'm not going to give you a lecture on dumping your girlfriend becuase you don't love her, been there done that, did the penance... sort of.

adios.

seamus · 31-01-2003 7:15pm

Originally posted by Alany
Well thats opened a whole new can of worms
If what you people are saying is true, then even thinking about cheating means I cant really love my girlfriend ?
And if im thinking about it ( which I am) then I may as well lready finished with her...

I think neuro said it right. Everyone gets tempted once in a while, but you know if you really care enough if you can just shrug if off and say 'pfft', and not have any 'what if?'s. I've had numerous times when I could have jumped some willing young nymph (one of the curses of becoming attached - suddenly you're prime man material :rolleyes: ) but not once have I regretted or even double considered turning them down.

If you're seriously considering this and considering cheating on your gf just cos this girl looks better than you can't care for her as much as you think. And you have a bit of growing up to do.

logic1 · 31-01-2003 9:31pm

Can you say "threesome"?

.logic.

Tails · 31-01-2003 11:19pm

Well you only live once, so if the girl is a fox, then go for it.
It seems that you dont plan a long relationship with her.
So treat yourself you know you get along better with your girlfriend better so once the cheating is out of your system youll be happy. Otherwise youll keep questioning yourself "Should i have?"

Turner · 31-01-2003 11:34pm

Risk it for a biscuit, If your current gf finds out deal with it when she does. You only live once.

yellum · 31-01-2003 11:38pm

Haha, some of these answers really take the biscuit. Very wise they are.

So, if you found out your girlfriend was sleeping with this really good looking guy and she really enjoyed the sex, what would you do ? Forgive her ?

I hope shes not doing that while you spend too much time surfing the net.

Neuro and WWM both make sense on this matter.

Caesar_Bojangle · 01-02-2003 12:52am

Just do it, you were going to do it anyway. In a similar situation i'd do likewise but if i loved the girl i most likely would sincerely think about it long and hard and then revert back to if i truely loved her i wouldnt frame of mind.

DriftingRain · 01-02-2003 2:59am

From a chicks point of view. Guys are gonna look, girls are gonna look. Reading what is on the menu don't mean you have to order. I would rather my guy have nasty notions thinking what the menu says but love me enough to never actually order off it. Maybe you can look at it this way. That girl is just the snake in the tree that tempted eve to get that apple. Not all girls forgive, and if this is gonna be the love of your life do you really want her to ALWAYS have that thought of you with another woman. Do you want her to tell your kids (if she actually forgave you)..."Yeah your daddy cheated on me one time"? Don't be a bad example for future childern! Hope this helped. He He;)

The Corinthian · 01-02-2003 4:58am

Originally posted by koneko
Puh-lease, you don't "love your girlfriend dearly". If you did, you wouldn't even consider cheating.... at all.

Well, that’s complete crap.

Of course he’ll consider it. Of course he’ll look at other women. Doesn’t mean he’ll act upon those fantasies.

He has a girlfriend, not a castration.

Pimp Ninja · 01-02-2003 5:14am

Alany its plain and simple.

Get the fox, and give her a good one. While youre doing it, think of your current Girlfriend, giving one to that guy she was talking to in the pub last week, or one of her co-workers/classmates..

Think how you'd feel....

Then multiply it by about 6 million, because women get more upset

Matfinn · 01-02-2003 5:15am

Personally I think doing the dirt is very wrong indeed. I would never do it to any girl unfortunate enough to go out with me, and I would feel like **** if it was done to me. My advice, dont do it. It seems you need something sorted out in your relationship. Get that sorted first.

Matt

Dr. Dre · 01-02-2003 12:49pm

Pi$$ into the wind and go for it.

koneko · 01-02-2003 1:38pm

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Of course he’ll consider it. Of course he’ll look at other women. Doesn’t mean he’ll act upon those fantasies.

Ok my fault, I wasn't clear. I meant acting upon it. If he seriously considered going ahead with it, and doing it.

Not thinking "god she's hot I'd like to do her", but leaving it at thoughts. He's admitted to cheating before, he doesn't seem like the type to leave it only at thinking, and admitted that.

Fancying other people isn't the problem here, but acting upon it is.

Will try to be more clear in future. But Neuro covered it already

The Sweeper · 01-02-2003 2:59pm

Right, well oil-painting boy, I hope you're so incredibly stunning that you never have to worry about whether or not your missus will have this problem - "my boyf lost a wrestling match with the ugly brush and got seriously painted, but this really cute guy is coming on to me, perhaps I'll f**k the brains out of the cute guy and use my ugly boyfriend for the security that love, routine and money give me".

If you want to look, look. Look until your eyes fall out of your head. But what is it that makes you actually cheat? You should tell your girlfriend -

"I love you, but for a couple of hours I decided that you're an ugly boot and I was never going to get a chance to hang off titties like these again so I shagged this foxy bird and hoped you wouldn't find out. I do want to marry you though. You're convenient like that."

You're a fool. Dump your girlfriend, stop wasting her time. Then go for the other chick. And if she turns you down, I'll die laughing.

Evil Phil · 02-02-2003 12:32am

"my boyf lost a wrestling match with the ugly brush and got seriously painted, but this really cute guy is coming on to me, perhaps I'll f**k the brains out of the cute guy and use my ugly boyfriend for the security that love, routine and money give me".

Maybe this should be put "I'll f**k the brains out of the cute guy, our naked sweaty bodies rolling around as we moan in ecstasy, I'll do things to him I've never done to any guy ..."

Picture that. Feelling jealous?

No: You don't give a **** about your current girlfriend (suprise suprise).

Yes: Nasty, isn't it? Now you know how you gf will feel if she finds out.

Typedef · 02-02-2003 12:59pm

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels
You're a fool. Dump your girlfriend, stop wasting her time. Then go for the other chick. And if she turns you down, I'll die laughing.

I'd be a little more callous then that Majd... in that I'd 'ensure' I had an in, with the other chick before chucking the current one.... but that's just me.

Edit: Actually..... I just said that to be cool. I'd probably be a softie and end up a doormat for not one... but both chicks.

Personally I blame my loss of being a bastard on the interweb wierdos and their infernal morality..

.... no really.

haha

smiles · 02-02-2003 4:02pm

Cheating? interesting, you think you'll marry your girlfriend... would you be happy if she did the same to you?

maybe the reason she'd forgive you is because she sees it as a sign that she can do it too.

If you're both happy with that then go and have fun and then still have her as the person who is dearest to you....

if not, then if you want to cheat and you can get away with it then its entirely down to your own conscience and your own morals.

If you can be happy with yourself in the knowledge that you wont feel bad (to an unbearable point) over cheating on your girlfriend then thats all there is to it.

(incredibly callous point of view, but.... it's entirely different for every person and i wont stick my morals down someone elses throat)

<< Fio >>

Typedef · 02-02-2003 4:30pm

hmm morals.

I'm sure the monkies don't have them.

Doodee · 02-02-2003 4:46pm

Cheating ehh? I dont honestly understand how ppl can do it, at the end of the day if you dont see Wedding bells and children, and picture yourself growing old with them then its just your other head thinking, and as robin williams said, "God gave men a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to use one at a time"

I honestly wouldnt cheat on a partner , but i am a man of morals.

at the end of the day no1 can stop you cheating, but just try to think if it is those precious 15mins together, as opposed to spending the rest of your life with your other half.

AngelAine · 02-02-2003 6:07pm

I'm sure that doing the dirt on someone you love (??) seems ok for some people. I'd even go as far as saying its routine for some people out there...a night out with the lads/girls, score with some random bird/fella and then head home and hop back into bed with Mr/Ms. Security, Mr/Ms. I'll nurse you're sore head when you wake in the morning!

The fact remains, if you are putting some much thought into doing in, don't be such a f***** chicken and do it!!

Cheating is for chickens! They haven't the nerve to end a relationship...They like to have all their fingers in the pie!

spoofer · 03-02-2003 9:44am

What a sad lot!

Do.. don't..

A relationship must have trust and loyalty. You have no loyalty and cannot be trusted.
Leave her for her sake, not yours. Do her the favour.
She probably deserves better.

Yavvy · 03-02-2003 10:23am

Right...Well I hope yall had a nice weekend
Its taken me about 30 mins to read all those posts
and it seems you all have it figured out.
I have taken on your advice...thanks a million.
it seems fairly obvious the route most of you would have me take.

Ill be sure and let you all know what choice I make...if your interested. I reckon I know what im going to do already but I am just thinking about some questions your insane people raised.

anywho....some of you were a little snarky and bitchy...Glass houses people...

Thanks Again.
A.

WhiteWashMan · 03-02-2003 11:19am

Originally posted by Alany
Right...Well I hope yall had a nice weekend
Its taken me about 30 mins to read all those posts
and it seems you all have it figured out.
I have taken on your advice...thanks a million.
it seems fairly obvious the route most of you would have me take.

Ill be sure and let you all know what choice I make...if your interested. I reckon I know what im going to do already but I am just thinking about some questions your insane people raised.

anywho....some of you were a little snarky and bitchy...Glass houses people...

Thanks Again.
A.

well, if you dont want to hear people opinions, dont ask for them.

and dont get bítchy when you get the answers that you want to hear. or are you just insecure and want to boast of to people that you have the chance of shagging two women in one day?

Yavvy · 03-02-2003 11:40am

Look whitewash, I just pointed out that some people were a little snarky. For the most part the advice the posters offered was helpful. I have no problem with people telling me their opinions of me or the situation I asked advice on...I just noticed some people mounted their high horses. And its not something I have a problem with, lord knows I do it..but the Glass houses comment is my way of trying to get people to remember none of us are perfect.

So yeah I got a little bitchy...its something you might notice occurs on Boards.ie Every day ! infact some people have perfected it.

Doesnt mean I dont want the advice I requested, Doesnt mean I think less of any of the posters, Doesnt mean anything.

If people post on a Thread I started then they leave themselves open to any comment I wish to make. and vice versa.

In saying all that crap, anyone who was offended....Truly sorry, they you can be offended so easily.

smiles · 03-02-2003 11:44am

Alany / WWM.

RELAX. You're both being bitchy.

Deep breaths and all that. it's only a bulletin board.

[and more crap and i'll get the banning tools out of my cobwebbed cupboard]

<< Fio >>

Yavvy · 03-02-2003 11:46am

Sorry.

Kell · 03-02-2003 11:53am

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
and want to boast of to people that you have the chance of shagging two women in one day?

Do most blokes not shag two women in one day?:eek:

smiles · 03-02-2003 11:56am

Originally posted by Kell
Do most blokes not shag two women in one day?:eek:

I know I do.

<< Fio >>

LegacyUser · 03-02-2003 12:03pm

You have to look at this as a short term versus long term thing. What are your plans with the cute chick?

Do you see it as a long term thing where you regularly just have the hot sex? Do you think cute chick would be happy with that? There's no such thing as regular casual sex. There's always a price to pay in terms of emotional fall-out.

Sure, you might feel that you're in a rut, that you want the excitement of the chase again. The whole anxiety and raw emotion of it all, but in the long term you should see this as a problem within yourself. Maybe you're unhappy with your relationship but are too insecure to end it?

Far too many people stay in relationships due to a fear of being alone. Sometimes it's good to be alone for a while and get comfortable with yourself.

My advice? Have a one night stand with cute chick. Then have no more contact. And if you want to do it again, you definitely have a problem with your relationship which you should either try and fix or end it.

P.s. There's some really black kettles in this thread

WhiteWashMan · 03-02-2003 1:38pm

Originally posted by Alany
Look whitewash, I just pointed out that some people were a little snarky. For the most part the advice the posters offered was helpful. I have no problem with people telling me their opinions of me or the situation I asked advice on...I just noticed some people mounted their high horses. And its not something I have a problem with, lord knows I do it..but the Glass houses comment is my way of trying to get people to remember none of us are perfect.

So yeah I got a little bitchy...its something you might notice occurs on Boards.ie Every day ! infact some people have perfected it.

Doesnt mean I dont want the advice I requested, Doesnt mean I think less of any of the posters, Doesnt mean anything.

If people post on a Thread I started then they leave themselves open to any comment I wish to make. and vice versa.

In saying all that crap, anyone who was offended....Truly sorry, they you can be offended so easily.

as oyu rightly state, if you put your view up, then you open yourself to be critisised.
but people will get on their high horse, especially as this is something that has or will happem to everyone in their lives, and its hurtful.
to hear someone come out as callously as you have is not going to go down well with people.
i dont like, but ive done it/ people dont like to be reminded of what they are capable of, and they really dont like to be reminded of what their partner can go and do. nopthing can stop anyone from having an affair. no one can stop someone from going off with someone else.
but what you can do is stop yourself from doing it, and in doing so, hope for the love of god that the person you are with respects you, and has the same attitude.

personally im a big beliver in do-unto-others.....
i wont do something like that, because i know full well that i could be on the other side of it someday.

but if you are going to do it, dont waste your girlfriends time, because if you do it, especially if its pre-meditated, then you dont love her, and she really does deserve to be out of the relationship.

i will tell you one thing, when i was in college, i shag everything that walked. im not happy about it now, its something i did. but at the time i had no confidence, and i felt bad about it, i felt bad about the way i would sleep with girls who had boyfriends, i slept with anyone i cold find basically, and i was al because i had a problem myself. maybe you just have to explore yourself a little further, and that you cant do in a relationship. maybe you need a bit of time to be on your own, to do whatever it is you need to do to figure it out.

but dont shag some bird while oyu have another.
and smiles, apologies.

the Guru · 04-02-2003 5:06pm

Just go and Do it

05-02-2003 4:05pm

you cant judge the guy for contemplating sleeping with another chick. its male hormones, in fact its human hormones and instinct. take for instance the dog would mate with another bitch in front of his previous bitch and she aint gonna giva ****.

i can see where the catch 22 is.

Does he have his cake and eat it too. (stupid cliche, what good is a fuc/king cake if you cant eat it???)

or does he fight temptation and wonder in a couple of years if he was single again(or even married) and had to look at this fox, still looking fine but made an honest woman by another bloke and you kick yourself for not taking the oppurtunity you had years ago????

hey you wont be popular for cheating if caught but presuming your a young lad having the craic i would say 'ya may as well' and sure what wont kill ya like unpopularity can only make you stronger.

darthmise · 06-02-2003 3:48pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
go for it.
you obviously dont give a shít about your current girlfriend.

if you did, it wouldnt be an issue....

LOL!
Hit the nail on the head!

If you're going to commit, commit.
Lie and decieve people get hurt. Betrayals in relationships stay with people a long time. Maybe a life time.

Just be honest with yourself first and don't pretend to care about someone you don't.

Zero · 12-02-2003 12:27pm

It's all bullshit. Everyone always wants to shag what they don't have. I'm going out with a girl for four years, but before that I was just out for "what I could get", and in the end of the day you realise it's all bullshit.
A ride is a ride, and when you don't have a bird, the fake "big man" crap from tapping different birds wears very thin very fast, and you want someone cool that you can be with all the time. Of course then when you are with someone for a long time, you start lookin around ticking off people in your mental notebook that you would definitely give one to, just because its different.
Do it if you want, but if you really do give a shit about your girlfriend you wont. If you really are "going to marry her" like you said, and you take a run at every pair of tits you see that look nice, it's a sign of pure weakness, make a habit of it and you'll end up a very lonely person. I wouldnt go out with a cheating twat and most other people wouldnt either.

Typedef · 12-02-2003 12:45pm

Yeah I second Zero's sentiments.

Cheating on women is something I grew out of when I turned 18.
Though, Alany, if you feel that burning desire to prove yourself a man, feel free.

Most of us, don't need to prove shít. If it were me, I would simply stop seeing the current girlfriend, if I had an inclination to sleep with another, because, I don't feel a burning desire to fuk women around anymore.

But, that's just me.

Cheating- YES or NO ?

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