More woman trouble

LegacyUser

Oh well....just back from the local and finally decided to get this off my chest. I worked with a girl for a good while and we got on so well....i know this sounds like a real familiar thread, its not so bear with me.... thing is she was worked with me for a year or so and has now gone but we keep in close contact (mostly e-mail). we had an occasion where we had a little "moment" but it really meant nothing as it was spin the bottle kinda crap. im not too sure she likes me as much as i do but i do not have the balls to say anything....don't suggest this as i wont i am such a weakling @ expressing myself properly so this is out of the question. As she is living not that far away(scotland) i am thinking of e-mailing her and asking her to come over for a while, maybe paddys day. the thing is how do i ask her to come over without it sounding like a date or something? im just after reading over this and i know it reads really bad and confusing....its just i really like her and i cant express myself properly to her. i have dropped tiny hints here and there in drunken stupors but have been too pissed to pick up on anything. Please dont say "get some balls and say it too her straight", i dont want to ruin things between us or if im honest, rejection is what i most fear.

TenLeftFingers

Are there any people that you both know that you could all go out with? It might take the edge off things for a while. Tell her yourself & a few buddies (that she might know?) are doing something.

I think it would be fair to give some sort of a hint as to your intentions though before you drag her all the way over. Something like 'it would be great to see you'springs to mind.

I dunno, I'm no genious at this stuff, but no-one else replied! When I'm confused I write down all my thoughts. Sounds mad but 4 A4 pages usually does the job!

Turner

Dont waste your time, somebody will beat you to it, You know what you have to do, the one thing you dont want to do. ??:)

DriftingRain

The suggestion that you can just say I'd love to see you sounds great! But liking a gal and not being able to tell her is quite the popular thing these days with guys. How can you like her if you can't even be comfortable enough around her to tell her the truth. If you plan to try to tell her on this meeting I suggest before she leaves is the best time. Don't wanna drag her all the way here to make an aquard situation if she don't like you that way! Hope this helped. She does need to know anyhow!

memphis

Woman trouble eh?? seems to be the biggest problem in every guys life.

I'm no expert but I'll try give a advice from my point.
I snogged this girl way back on the Millennium night, and was really embarrassed for ages after it cos of the fact that I'd been so pissed.

One night a few months back (nearly a year and a half later) I was out with an old pal who start talking to her. I didn't realise they were pals. I joined in on the conversation, and when I'd the chance i got talking to her. we got on well, mainly just chatting and having a laugh all night, In the end she gave me her number.

I was so delighted, cos I'd secretly had my eye on her for some time before this.

Anyway, to get back to your issue. We have become very good friends. I have told her how crazy i am about her, and even gone as far as asking her out. She respected my honesty (and I believe your pal will respect your feelings too). Honesty is an important thing, and its that that is keeping us friends.

She has told me she doesn't want to date me and I accept that. Friends is often the best, that way nobody gets hurt.

Ask her to join ya for paddy's day, tell her you really wanna spend time with her "catching up on old times, or whatever". See how it goes, if she turns ya down don't despair. Just be honest with her!!!!

Ixidor

I know how you feel... it's not easy to make the last move with girls. as far as i#m concerened the first move is the easyest.
i guess you gotta think about some factors:

1. how long will it be untill you won't be able to tell her (she gets a B-friend or something)

2. could a relationship work with her (living so far away)

3. how bad could it really be if you calmly ask her if you thought that you to would make a good coupel?

either way, good look to you.

Tusky

man i know its not what you want to hear and i find it hard myself but you really need to just tell her staaight at some point...if u cant do it to her face mail her ? i know its lame but gotta be done..

LegacyUser

thanks to everyone for replying to this, i really appreciate it. well i still haven't done anything about it yet, this is the hardest thing ive had to decide on. the e-mail idea could work but it is kinda lame and unpersonal. i really dont know how to handle this, if i leave it much longer?!?.... i dunno what to do.

Mewzel

well it probably wouldnt really be fair to bring her all the way over here before you say anything cause itd end up being awkward and unfair. plus email really is too impersonal for this kinda thing so maybe you could try phoning her?
good luck anyway

mooman_00

i dunno how you are with jokes or flirting but personally this is how i would handle the situation (being sometimes unable to be straight with women. Flirting and joking gives you the ability to say what you want to say with out her really knowing your agenda, you catch my drift , you could say something in an email like "com'on you have to come over my bed is so empty these days " not the best example but **** it, you just have to make sure that whatever you say will be taken lightly and jokingly otherwise you'll just freak her out. The plusses are when you flirt she might start thinkin to herself that maybe she should give you a go to see what happens, if she doesn't think like that already that is or if you get the feelin that she isnt interested you can keep messing and flirting hiding the fact that you really want her. On the negative side as always it could go horribly wrong and if she is very responsive to your flirts you might mistake flirting for actual attraction on her behalf. Having that said the call her over to you and your mates idea and tell her when she is leaving is also a good idea......