Nigerian scam: Leeds United version

Bard

Doing the rounds in email...:

URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

DEAR FRIEND


THROUGH THE COURTESY OF BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY, I TAKE LIBERTY ANCHORED ON A STRONG DESIRE TO SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE ON THIS MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL AND RISKFREE TRANSACTION WHICH I HOPE YOU WILL GIVE YOUR URGENT ATTENTION.

I AM MR. P RIDSDALE, CHAIRMAN OF DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF LEEDSUNITED NOW KNOWN AS LUFCPLC. I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION.

AFTER OUTBREAK OF VIOLENCE IN HOMELAND NEAR MAJESTIC PALACE I ESCAPE WITH TWINKLY-EYE MISTER DAVID AND BABIES TO EUROPE WHERE WE HOPE TO SETTLE IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE.

HOWEVER SINCE EXPIRATION OF VISAS AND MYSTERIOUS DEMISE OF MISTER DAVID (HE SADLY FOUND DEAD IN MY OFFICE SHOT WITH MY REVOLVER, LIKE MISTER ARSENE I NOT SEE INCIDENT) I HAVE BEEN HIDING UNDER OFFICE TABLE ON TEMPORARY POLITICAL ASYLUM AND SELLING FAMILY SILVER TO SCARY RED-FACE MAN, MISTER KEVIN HUBCAPS AND OLD MASTER BOBBY JUST TO BUY SECOND-DAY COD FROM MR HAROLD RAMSDEN FISHES STALL.

HOWEVER DUE TO THIS SITUATION WE DECIDED TO CHANGED MOST OF MY CLUB’S BILLIONS OF DOLLARS DEPOSITED IN YORKSHIRE BANK AND OTHER COUNTRIES INTO OTHER FORMS OF MONEY CODED FOR SAFE PURPOSE BECAUSE NEW HEAD OF STATE MISTER TERRY EL-TEL TROTTER MAKES ARRANGEMENT WITH AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT TO SELL ALL MY TREASURES IN RETURN FOR KOALA MEAT AND BROKEN CASSETTE TAPE OF HOLLY VALLANCE.

HENCE BABIES THAT I DID NOT HAVE TO EAT FOR FOOD AND I DECIDED LAYING LOW TO STUDY THE SITUATION TILL WHEN THINGS GETS BETTER, LIKE NOW THAT BORING-VOICE MISTER HOWARD WE EXILED EIGHT YEARS AGO GOING DOWN TO NATIONWIDE WITH MR GLENN LEATHER COAT AND MISTER BAGGY MAGSON INSTEAD OF WE.

AS SUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY IDENTITY SO THAT MY INVESTMENT WILL NOT BE TRACED AND CONFISCATED. I HAVE DEPOSITED THE SUM
OF SEVENTY-SEVEN MILLION UNITED KINGDOM POUNDS (UK£77,000,000,00.) WITH A SECURITY COMPANY , FOR SAFEKEEPING. THE FUNDS ARE SECURITY CODED TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE CONTENT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST US BY RECEIVING THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF IN EUROPE.

I WANT YOU TO ASSIST IN INVESTING THIS MONEY, BUT I WILL NOT WANT MY IDENTITY REVEALED.

I WILL ALSO WANT TO BUY PROPERTIES AND STOCK IN MULTI-NATIONAL COMPANIES AND TO ENGAGE IN OTHER SAFE AND NON-SPECULATIVE INVESTMENTS AND TO WIN EUROPEAN CUP WITHIN TWO YEARS OR JUST APPEAR ON TELEVISION A LOT.

MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASISE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY, WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE, WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU IN CONCLUSION.

IF YOU BETRAY, I MUST MELT DOWN STATUE OF POOR MISTER LITTLE BILLY AND MAKE COIN THOUGH NOT BAD IDEA ANYWAY I NOW THINK.

IN THE EVENT YOU ARE INTRESTED TO ASSIST US I WILL LIKE YOU TO CONTACT MY LADY LAWYER WHO I HAVE STATIONED IN LEEDS TO WITHNESS THE TRANSACTION TO IS CONCLUTION.YOU CAN REACH HER ON ER DIRECT LINE WHICH IS +44-113-367-6000 OR VIA MAIL
ridsdaleescapefund@lufc.com. HER NAME IS BARRISTER MRS RITA PIDSDALE AND I HAVE THE FULL TRUST IN ME HER.

I SINCERELY WILL APPRECAITE YOUR ACKNOWLEDGMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

GOOD REGARDS,

MR P RIDSDALE AND (REMAINING LIVE) BABIES

PS: SALE AT MEGASTORE NOW ON – GREAT BARGAIN TO BE HAD FOR ALL MUST END FRIDAY