a list of preferred phrases

Isegrim

It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communication with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of preferred phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

-Preferred Phrase
Perhaps I can work late.
-Old Phrase
When the f*ck do you expect me to do this?

-Preferred Phrase
I'm certain that is not feasible.
-Old Phrase
No f*cking way.

-Preferred Phrase
Really?
-Old Phrase
You've got to be ****ting me.

-Preferred Phrase
Perhaps you should check with...
-Old Phrase
Tell someone who gives a ****.

-Preferred Phrase
Of course I'm concerned.
-Old Phrase
Ask me if I give a ****.

-Preferred Phrase
I wasn't involved in that project.
-Old Phrase
Its not my f*cking problem.

-Preferred Phrase
That's interesting behavior.
-Old Phrase
What the f*ck...?!?

-Preferred Phrase
I'm not sure I can implement this.
-Old Phrase
F*ck it, it won't work.

-Preferred Phrase
I'll try to schedule that.
-Old Phrase
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

-Preferred Phrase
Are you sure this is a problem?
-Old Phrase
Who the f*ck cares?

-Preferred Phrase
He's not familiar with the problem.
-Old Phrase
He's got his head up his ass.

-Preferred Phrase
So, you weren't happy with it?
-Old Phrase
Kiss my ass.

-Preferred Phrase
I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
-Old Phrase
F*ck it, I'm on salary.

-Preferred Phrase
I don't think you understand.
-Old Phrase
Shove it up your ass.

-Preferred Phrase
I love a challenge.
-Old Phrase
This job sucks.

-Preferred Phrase
You want me to take care of that?
-Old Phrase
Who the hell died and made you boss?

-Preferred Phrase
I see.
-Old Phrase
Blow me.

-Preferred Phrase
Yes, we really should discuss it.
-Old Phrase
Another f*cking meeting!!

-Preferred Phrase
I don't think this will be a problem.
-Old Phrase
I really don't give a ****.

-Preferred Phrase
He's somewhat insensitive.
-Old Phrase
He's a f*cking pr*ck.

-Preferred Phrase
She's an aggressive go getter.
-Old Phrase
She's a ball busting b*tch.

-Preferred Phrase
I think you could use more training.
-Old Phrase
You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.

JohnK

lol
Guess I'll have to update my vocabulary

Ixidor

that was good!
but i really think i'll be sticking to my origianl phrasing.