How To Monitor Kids Online

Memnoch

Okay here is one from a kids perspective. OKay i'm 22 so not really a kid but i was one not too long ago.

One thing i'd have to disagree with is this whole "violent games"

I think society has gone over board with its censure, I mean sure quake etc show violence and stuff. But myself and every kid I know including my baby brother have been playing these so called "violent" games for years now. It certainly didn't make me wanna find a gun to shoot someone with and I don't think any of the games had this kind of effect on my younger brother either.

This kind of concept that a pc game can turn someone into a killer etc is imo complete horse poo. 9/10 its parenting thats at fault. Ppl leave their kids with their games and pcs and television and expect the media to do their parenting FOR them. This is the crux of the issue really. Just because a PC is keeping a kid occupied doesn't mean its a baby sitter.

I guess the point of this rant is that firstly parents need to be involved more in what their kids do, not expect media to bring them up and stop using computer games as scapegoats for their own bad parenting.

DeVore

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-08-11

tbh.

DeV.

Nevyn

Originally posted by Dawntreader
Kids, specially teenagers, will just wait till parents are out or in bed b4 they go online. B

Well you have to be more devious then your kids/teenagers. Even if it means removing the modem out of the pc and putting in ur underwear drawer before going to bed or if the pc is networking severally pass wording and disabling the servers access to the net so that is not accessible to the teen with out permission.

Yes all the net nanny systems out there can be disabled but a dertmined teen but parents have to be vigilant and learn the limitation of these packages and honestly as victor suggested there needs to be a Parenting PC class on how to do all of this and to check cached pages and logs on the pc.

oh hell you need to have been a wild one to know how to curb one

mood

Hi, this thread is old. Does anyone know of any net nanny software that is up to date? A relation has asked me to download one for their 14 year old sons laptop. Bear in mind he is very impressionable and the maturity level of an 11 year old really!

Mr. Presentable

DeVore wrote: »

I've started writing something I have been meaning to write for nearly two years now.
The definitive guide to keeping your children safe (or safer) on the internet.(At least as definitive as possible).

The recent ads on the telly about paedophiles on the internet are kinda annoying as they scare everyone without actually giving any information. Typical MTV-culture I guess.

I dont buy into the "paedos are waiting to talk to you're children" thing anyway. Far more concerning to me is the exposure of kids to inappropriate material (and I dont mean just porn).
Recently I've know of Chechen execution mpgs doing the rounds for example. (a horror-fan friend of mine watched part of it before having to stop...)

Anyway, discussing this with some (non-tech) parents I know they were all concerned and wanted more information and assistance from someone they trust.

So, I've decided to start (and hopefully finish!) an FAQ / How-To for parents about their kids on the internet.
Some of the ones I've read are truely horrendous... for example if you're son (note the absence of "daughter") plays Quake... they are likely to be a hacker!!

I thought I'd tap you guys for input and content too...

DeV.

Content filters are a bit hit and miss in my opinion. What I do is block all access to all websites (with the tool in IE) by putting a password on. I then allow permanent access by request as appropriate on a case by case basis.
After a while the kids have access to pretty much everything they need and nothing else.

mood

nipplenuts wrote: »

Content filters are a bit hit and miss in my opinion. What I do is block all access to all websites (with the tool in IE) by putting a password on. I then allow permanent access by request as appropriate on a case by case basis.
After a while the kids have access to pretty much everything they need and nothing else.

Where is the tool in Internet Explorer? Would that not mean that it won't work for another search engine?

CrazyRabbit

Sticking the PC in the middle of the living room shows a severe lack of trust in the child, that will come back to bite you in the $ss when they become teenagers. You won't always be there to watch them, so it's not an effective solution (i.e, access from Library, school, friends house etc).

I prefer to monitor what sites are visited. If some site with innaproriate content is accessed, talk to the child about why it is innapropriate, or why it is dangerous to them. In short, educate the child about the dangers. You cannot completely protect a child from all the bad in the world. You can teach them how to deal with it properly though.

We teach our kids how to cross the road safely, to not run with sharp objects etc. It's no different with the internet. It's is extremely important to teach them how to use it safely, and explain the dangers in terms they understand.

A self disciplined child is more likely to avoid bad sites on their own.

In short:
1. Learn about the dangers of the internet yourself. Research!
2. Educate your child about the dangers of the internet (appropriate to their level)
3. Re-educate every year to adapt to their age and technical ability.
4. Keep a close eye on what they are accessing (There are many programs that log what sites are accessed).
5. Address any issues that arise.

Mr. Presentable

mood wrote: »

Where is the tool in Internet Explorer? Would that not mean that it won't work for another search engine?

1. Open Internet Explorer. Navigate to Tools > Internet Options.

2. Click on the Content Tab. Click on the Settings button in the Content Advisor section.

3. Go to the Approved Sites tab and add the sites which you want to approve and those which you want to restrict by entering the URL and then pressing Always or Never.

4. Go to the General tab; and in the Supervisor section, create a new Supervisor password. In the User Options section, tick the "Users can see sites that have no rating" tab, if you want users to view sites that haven't been rated or approved / restricted. Also tick the checkbox on "Supervisor can type a password to allow users to view restricted content" if you want to approve restricted sites when they are accessed.

5. Also remember to enable the Content Advisor in the Content tab. Exit Internet Explorer and restart it to let the changes take effect.

Now whenever you try to access a website that is not on the list, a prompt will pop up depending on the settings you chose and ask for the supervisor password. Your Internet Explorer is password protected.



Also, yes it works only for the browser you set it in. I also create a limited account which prevents children from installing software - including other browsers, and resrict them to IE.

I am not a fan of having the PC in a bedroom, or other limited access area, either for myself or children. It should not become something you are a bit secretive about.

Naturally rules change as they become older and more responsible.

Mr. Presentable

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Sticking the PC in the middle of the living room shows a severe lack of trust in the child, that will come back to bite you in the $ss when they become teenagers. You won't always be there to watch them, so it's not an effective solution (i.e, access from Library, school, friends house etc).

I prefer to monitor what sites are visited. If some site with innaproriate content is accessed, talk to the child about why it is innapropriate, or why it is dangerous to them. In short, educate the child about the dangers. You cannot completely protect a child from all the bad in the world. You can teach them how to deal with it properly though.

We teach our kids how to cross the road safely, to not run with sharp objects etc. It's no different with the internet. It's is extremely important to teach them how to use it safely, and explain the dangers in terms they understand.

A self disciplined child is more likely to avoid bad sites on their own.

In short:
1. Learn about the dangers of the internet yourself. Research!
2. Educate your child about the dangers of the internet (appropriate to their level)
3. Re-educate every year to adapt to their age and technical ability.
4. Keep a close eye on what they are accessing (There are many programs that log what sites are accessed).
5. Address any issues that arise.

The downside of this approach is that it is reactive rather than proactive. The damage may already have been done when you check your log of sites visited.

Mr. Presentable

Wow, I didn't realise how old this debate is

Nevyn

Thats ok it has some pretty good info in it still, so I for am happy that it was dusted off.
The 5y year old now is nearly 12 and knows there are bad stuff on the net and any site he wants to go to he
asked me first and I check it out and tell him yes or no.

mood

Search engine history can be cleared or partially cleared so you wouldn't be 100% sure what was looked at!

Nevyn

The router traffic history can't.

mood

Thaedydal wrote: »

The router traffic history can't.

How do you do that?

Nevyn

by logging into the router and checking.

CrazyRabbit

If you want to take the protective approach and wrap the kid up in the proverbial cotton wool....

1. Change the windows hosts file so that all the common search engines are mapped to 127.0.0.1 (your computer)
(See here for more info)
http://vlaurie.com/computers2/Articles/hosts.htm

2. Bookmark all the sites you want the child the be able to visit.

3. Set a 'safe' page as the Homepage in the browser.

What this basically does is block all web search engines (well the ones that you know about). This means only sites bookmarked can be opened.

The hosts file is like a local DNS cache that overrides the ISP's DNS. Think of it like a directory that links ip addresses to website URL's. You can tell windows to open 127.0.0.1 every time somebody tries to open the google.com domain etc.

It's a good strong solution if you want to leave the PC in the child's room out of sight etc. 99.5% of children wouldn't have a clue about the hosts file, so it's not an easy filter to bypass. Actually, most adults and helpdesks wouldn't even think of checking the hosts file.

Nevyn

I don't think that is wrapping a kid in bubble wrap, seriously kids can be cruel and I'd rather do that then be up with a child who is having nightmares cos the stumble on to rotten.com.

silverharp

I'm in that nice window where my 5 year old's view of the net is Club Penguin with some Spongebob and some retro cartoons on youtube. At some stage we will set up some restrictions to what he can see but I dont warm to the idea of checking logs etc.

CrazyRabbit

Thaedydal wrote: »

I don't think that is wrapping a kid in bubble wrap, seriously kids can be cruel and I'd rather do that then be up with a child who is having nightmares cos the stumble on to rotten.com.

I meant that my suggestion was a rather extreme method of filtering that would make only a handful of sites accessable, and as such would be a 'cotton wool' approach.

Other methods will allow searching, and just block certain sites.

Hellrazer

Thaedydal wrote: »

Thats ok it has some pretty good info in it still, so I for am happy that it was dusted off.
The 5y year old now is nearly 12 and knows there are bad stuff on the net and any site he wants to go to he
asked me first and I check it out and tell him yes or no.

Thats exactly the way we do it with our 11yo.She`ll ask about a site--Ill check it out and let her know if its ok or not.

Was reading an atricle in a PC mag not so long ago and they tested all the web-safe software for kids and the one that was rated the highest by so called experts was gotten around by a 12 year old in something like 30 seconds and the other were disabled in less than that.

Im a firm believer of not checking everything they do online--however I do keep her email passwords and IM passwords so that I can check whenever I like.

Bebo,facebook and other social sites are not allowed until shes a bit older and even at that Im concerned after reading some of her friends pages that they left open on the pc after they were visiting--The amount of bullying and peer pressure on them is something else.

hitlersson666

DeVore wrote: »

I dont buy into the "paedos are waiting to talk to you're children" thing anyway. Far more concerning to me is the exposure of kids to inappropriate material (and I dont mean just porn).
Recently I've know of Chechen execution mpgs doing the rounds for example. (a horror-fan friend of mine watched part of it before having to stop...)

DeV.

i just googled that and please remove reference of it please because that was the most disturbing thing i have ever seen!!!!!! its not fair i know but still please think of people of the curious folk like me :) but that was seriousley fucked up and tbh if i had kids i rather they were exposed to porn rather than that

Nevyn

No we won't remove the refernce to it, you are responsible for what you google and view not the parenting forum or boards.ie

mymo

My 12 yr old has been using the net for several years, at first I had software to stop her looking at stuff she shouldn't, but it caused to many probs.
I now use the parental control (currently set to 15 rated, since she turned 12) and can check her browsing history through this(even if she deletes) and we have a deal, I have all her passwords and can check whenever I want. If I find she has set up an email account or bebo(no way at the mo) or similar without my consent, she loses ALL access to the net.
So far it works well, I rarely check her mail, but have never seen anything that worries me, and I know every site she visits.
I have been glad to see emails she has sent telling her friends how to stay safe on the net.
Trust goes a long way. She's smart and very responsable and the computer is always in my sight, I think its very important for parents to have some knowledge of the net, there's far more good than bad. I also know things will change as she gets older, but we'll figure out something when the time comes.

Nevyn

Club penguin is a favourite in this house as is puzzle pirates.

mymo

My daughter also uses 10 minute mail and fake name(usually combo of pets names) and dob, address etc, when sussing out a new site. She usually asks me and tries it this way(with me nearby) to decide if its worth her time.
The latest doing the rounds in her class is Horwse(sp?)where you can set up stables and train/breed horses, seems harmless enough and she set it up in dogs names, with a postal address in Hong Kong:D

di11on

Not sure if this has been raised... but, you can be very vigilant and have tremendous safeguards in place.... but what about when your kids are at a friend's place - what safeguards are in place there?

Our kids get a certain quota of screen related activity every day (TV/WII/DS, whatever)- they can choose how and when they use. That's all very well, but we know when they're in friends' houses, half the time it's to watch telly!

In fact, I remember as a 12 year old, I was at a friend's house and he proudly says, "look what videos we have", and he pops a vhs in... cue images of flesh and sounds that this 12 year old had never seen or heard in his life! Honestly, I can still see the images and hear the sounds!

All you need is one overly relaxed set of parents in your kids' circle and they're open to all sorts!

How do you control this side of things?

Nevyn

You can't but you can give them the confidence to walk away from viewing anything which makes them feel uncomfortable or uneasy and the open communication channels with you to discuss anything they have seen and heard.

Mr. Presentable

Thaedydal wrote: »

You can't but you can give them the confidence to walk away from viewing anything which makes them feel uncomfortable or uneasy and the open communication channels with you to discuss anything they have seen and heard.

Good advice.

CrazyRabbit

Thaedydal wrote: »

You can't but you can give them the confidence to walk away from viewing anything which makes them feel uncomfortable or uneasy and the open communication channels with you to discuss anything they have seen and heard.

Exactly. The self discipline to walk away, and the trust to tell you. That's the end goal as far as I'm concerned.

Deliverance

Thaedydal wrote: »

You can't but you can give them the confidence to walk away from viewing anything which makes them feel uncomfortable or uneasy and the open communication channels with you to discuss anything they have seen and heard.

Post by 'Mymo':

My 12 yr old has been using the net for several years, at first I had software to stop her looking at stuff she shouldn't, but it caused to many probs.
I now use the parental control (currently set to 15 rated, since she turned 12) and can check her browsing history through this(even if she deletes) and we have a deal, I have all her passwords and can check whenever I want. If I find she has set up an email account or bebo(no way at the mo) or similar without my consent, she loses ALL access to the net.
So far it works well, I rarely check her mail, but have never seen anything that worries me, and I know every site she visits.
I have been glad to see emails she has sent telling her friends how to stay safe on the net.
Trust goes a long way. She's smart and very responsable and the computer is always in my sight, I think its very important for parents to have some knowledge of the net, there's far more good than bad. I also know things will change as she gets older, but we'll figure out something when the time comes.

Compounds it all in a nutshell for the whole thing really. Good call and advice by both posters.