Quotes, expressions, etc.

paniniter

Here's a good way to get the posts up there with the mods.

we start a list of the best/funniest quotes/expressions/proverbs etc.

Try to number them so we know how many there are.

(let's try not to make it a simpsons thread though, we all know those ones already. but if you really feel like typing them in, why not start a new thread)

Here's a few to get started:

1. - Life is a sewer, what you get out of it depends on what you put in it.
2. - The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother.
3. - "Let them eat cake" - Marie Antoinette
3.5 - Ignorance is bliss
4. - "Life's a journey, not a destination" - Steven Tyler
5. - Eat well and sleep deeply, for tommorrow comes and it's all yours
6. - Those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it
7. - "We will die on our feet rather than live on our knees" - (I forget)
8. - Eat well and sleep deeply, for tomorrow comes and it's all yours
9. - "The light at the end of the tunnel made you" - Steven Tyler
10. - May the best years of your past be the worst years of your future

Gerrymac

11. You've a face like a cow chewing a pissy nettle - Me

Mewzel

12. a day without sunshine is you know, -night
13. life gets better as you grow older (unless you're a banana)
14. hurray for earth!

taellad

15. "A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin" book of proverbs

16. "Then I looked, and there was the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion. And with him were 144,000 who had his name and his father's name written on their foreheads." revelation

17. I Buried with my own hands five of my children in a single grave. . . No bells. No tears. This is the end of the world. survivor of the bubonic plague, 1347

18. I am tired with my own life and the lives of those after me, I am dying in my own death and the deaths of those after me - t.s. eliot

Mewzel

19. life is a sexually transmitted disease

Pigman II

20. I love you so much I want to smash your face in with a sledgehammer. - Barry Egan

Sandi

21. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

Mewzel

22. you grow on people- but then so does cancer

Damon_Kind

23. I'd crawl through broken glass just to suck the last dick that was in her - Bandit, on Angelina Jolie

Space Coyote

24. Its better to have a gun and not need it, than need a gun and not have it.

Clarence Whorley, True Romance

Kali

25 - if you'd dynamite for brains you couldn't blow your nose
26 - a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

beretta

(these are all taken from actual essays handed in my college students)

27. "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

28. "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

29. "Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

30. "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."

31. "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

32. "The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint." (this is my favourite. pure genius!!)

o sleep

27 29 and 31 are sublime. i hope you gave these people high marks.

the fnj

32. This guy been working in a plant so long, he is a plant.- 8 mile.

kirn

34. the world needs what we can give it today

Space Coyote

35. "I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" Denis Leary

Space Coyote

36. "A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
Spike Milligan

37. "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx

38. "You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
Al Capone

39. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
G W Bush

40. "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle

the fnj

41 I've seen beer commercials during war against drugs specials.

42 Saying we shouldn’t smoke pot is like saying that god made a mistake.

by Bill Hicks

Gerrymac

41. The Spanish Manager is pulling his captain off! - George Hamilton:D

karma kabbage

44)- oh life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And i am Marie of Roumania
-dorethy parker

45)-You keep me from crazy 'cos crazy you are
-brando

46)-stones taught me to fly
love taught me to cry
so come on courage teach me to be shy
-damien rice

Tyrrial

47: eat "Shmit" and die

karma kabbage

48- it's fun to rhyme

karma kabbage

49- jack sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean and so between the two of them they licked the whole plate clean
- i know it's a nursery rhyme put it really has a good point

50- it's ok to be content with what you have, but not with what you are

51- when you are down, surround yourself with friends who are up

o sleep

52. everything was beautiful and nothing hurt - possible epitaph for billy pilgrim (and kurt vonnegut too)

butterflywings

as jovial as a hyena. on crack.

click here

Damn, what number am I..? Oh yeah,

52. "They f**k you up, yourmum and dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had,
And add some extra, just for you."
- Philip Larkin

53. " I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

54. "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance."
- Jane Austen

----

"5. - Eat well and sleep deeply, for tommorrow comes and it's all yours
6. - Those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it
...
8. - Eat well and sleep deeply, for tomorrow comes and it's all yours"

He, he, has nobody seen the humour in Paniniter's list, or was that a deliberate repitition, and I'm just being silly??

Mewzel, your std quote was a classic my friend.

And Karma kabbage, another mourner of the loss of Brando.. sniffle.. They'll be missed...

Amz

If I were John and John were me then he'd be seven and i'd be three!

SprostonGreen

Help, I've been attacked by a coked up whore and a crazy ****ing dentist - Twelve Monkeys

Even a stopped clock, gives the right time twice a day - Withnail and I

Macseamusa

57 You're such a **** ass!

what's a **** ass?
Donnie Darko

58 I had to swerve many times before i hit him- actual insurance statments for claims.

59 i was driving safely when i was hit by a stationary truck coming the other way.
:rolleyes:

Macseamusa

60 Help i'm lost and i can't find my beer

61hold on loise this is the one where the fonz says eeyyy . The fonz 'eeeyyyy'

62 When i look at the people of africa, i envy them. I want to be that thin, but not with all the flies. Some super model

Kali

63 "this is real ****" "good **** right?" "no bad ****, this **** is ****.. anyone caught with this on the street will end up dead"