Quotes, expressions, etc.

Space Coyote

64. "Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!"
Frank Carson

65. "Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country."
Ian Rush

66. "When Peter Beardsley appears on television, daleks hide behind the sofa."
Nick Hancock

paniniter

to click here: yeah, but the second time i spellt it wrong

65 - always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

66. - When the people lead, the leaders will follow

67. - A friends eye is a good mirror

68. - Good advice is often annoying, bad advice never.

69. - He who asks is a fool for a minute, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

70. - "The brightest flame burns quickest" - James Hetfield

71. - You have to sit through rain before you stand in front of a rainbow

72. - If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.

73. - "The world is more like it is now then it has ever been before."
- Dwight Eisenhower

74. - "I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

75. - "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

76. - "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
- Terry Venables

77.
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
To the plumber, any liquid in the glass is potential income.

78. - What if this wasn't a hypothetical question?

79. - Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

80. - If you want breakfast in bed.........sleep in the kitchen

EdBanger

90. Nothing was created in the Big Bang......Along with everything else.

karma kabbage

91. - you will recognise my boy the first sign of old age; it is when you first go out on the streets of london and realise for the first time how young the policemen look- sir seymour hicks

92. - all animals are equal but some are more equal than others - george orwell

93. - Ì'll love you my dear, i'll love you
til China and Africa meet,
and the river jumps over the mountain
and the salmon sing in the street
i'll love you til the ocean
is folded and hung up to dry
and the seven stars go squawking
like geese about the sky - w.h. auden

Tyrrial

94. <see Signature>

Macseamusa

95 sometimes its better to be excellent than intelligent

96 i made a new friend today!
yeh? real or imaginary?
imaginary
97 a penny earned....is not a lot
98 Question asked by Q mag to Craig David
'Who is the greatest living Englishman?'
Craig..' its got to be Churchill'
99 samuari pizza cats, class, samuari cats who work in a pizza place and getfired out of a big gun when trouble come around. what a brilliant idea for a show

karma kabbage

100. - razors pain you;
rivers are damp;
acids stain you;
and drugs give cramps.
guns are unlawful:
nooses give;
gas smell awful;
you might as well live - dorathy parker

startled_frog

Why stand when you can sit, why sit when you can lie down?

Macseamusa

more insurance claims
102 I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
103 An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.
104 I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

105 The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.

106 I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

karma kabbage

107 - don't take life OR death too seriously

108 - we are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown but to be cleansed

109 - the secret of success is doing something that you love

110 - what lies behind and before us small matters compared to what lies within us

Cherry

111 - Tragedy is where I cut my finger. Comedy is where you walk into an open sewer & die : Mel Brooks

112 - She had breasts like granite & a brain like cheese : Groucho Marx on Marilyn Monroe

113 - In America, anyone can become President. That's one of the risks you take - unknown

madeline

114. I am not a man <insert Transformer music and robot voice> I am a robot in disguise - Bo Selecta.

115 If at first you don't succeed don't try again 'cause you're obviously not good enough.

116 When god gave out chins you thought he said gin and went back for a double

117 She's got a face like a cobbler's thumb

118 'The Irish are the blacks of Europe. Dubliners are the Blacks of Ireland and Northsider's are the blacks of Dublin, so say it loud, I'm Black and I'm proud' - someone SAID this to me upon hearing I was indeed from da Northside!! I think it's from a film though, the Commitments maybe? I dunno.

119 ' A man is least himself when he talks in his own person, yet give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth' -0scar Wilde

120 ' I am bound upon a burning wheel of fire so that mine own eyes do scald like molten lead' - Shakespeare.

The last two got me through many's an English essay!!!:D

karma kabbage

121 - Ask if they want to dance, when (if) they say no, reply...i'm sorry you must have missunderstood. what i said was, you look FAT in those pants

122 - hi, you'll do

123 - let's go back to my place and do all the things i'm going to tell everyone we did anyway

124 - guess what?! i've got an eight inch tongue and can breathe through my ears

karma kabbage

125 - it isn't the mountain that wears you out, it's the grain of sand in your shoe

126 - yesterday i loved, today i suffer, tomorrow idie; but i still think fondly, today and tomorrow of yesterday - G.E.Lessing

127 - the lord prefers common looking people. that is why he makes so many of them - Abe lincoln (shame current presidents are not so worldly!!)

128 - the shades of night were falling fast,
as through an Alpine village passed
a youth, who bore, mid snow and ice,
a banner with a strange devise
Excelsior! - henry wadsworth longfellow

(though not a simpson quote i put it in for the true simpson fans, spot the connection?)

129 - if i have freedom in my love,
and in my soul am free;
angels alone, that sore above,
enjoy such liberty
- richard lovelace

the happy hobo

130. 'Anyone he publicly called friend would soon have a life expectancy normally associated with things that hover over trout streams at sunset' - Terry Pratchett

oompa loompa

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
- Emily Dickinson

Macseamusa

132 A legendary and perhaps mythical Oxford phiosophy paper once asked: " Is this a question" The response "No, but this is an answer is supposed to have won a top first
133 In the begining there was nothing, which exploded
134 Stone circles were commmon enough everyhwhere in the mountains. Druids built them as weather computers ans since it was cheaper to build a new 33-MegaLith circle than upgrade an old slow one there were generally plenty of ancient ones around -Terry pratchett- Lords and ladies
135 The curtain goes up, the first pawn moves, the first shot is fired- but that's not the start. The play, the game, the war is just a little window on a ribbon of events that may extend back thousands of years. The point is, there's always something before. It's always a case of Now Rad On. - Terry Pratchett

jodie

136. the only way a women can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

jodie

137. There is only one real tragedy in a womens life . The fact that her past is always her lover and her future inveriably her husband.

138. Men marry because they are tierd, women because they are curious, both are dissapointed.

139. Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

140. To lose one parent .....may be regarded as a misfortune but to lose both looks like carelessness.

oompa loompa

141. When you come to the edge of all the light that you have, and must take a leap into the darkness beyond, believe that one of two things will happen: either you will be given something secure to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.

oompa loompa

142. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name

heheheh
and:

143. smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

144. a metaphor is like a simile

145. i'm starting to think that my purpose in life is solely to serve as a warning to others...

Cozpyro

146: What's another word for synonym?

147: If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

148: If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?

149: Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

150: Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

151: Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

152: If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Macseamusa

153 No one is to ever the the Stick and Bucket Dance again. Lords and Ladies again.
154 .....you know frankly, going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind. Jed Babbin

karma kabbage

155 - a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle

156 - a day without sex, is a day wasted

Tyrrial

157 - carpy says no!

karma kabbage

158 - eagles may soar but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines

159 - there are two rules to success in life. rule no. 1: don't tell people everythin you know

Tyrrial

160 - if your feeling sinsiter, go off and see a minister

karma kabbage

161 - in case of emergancy, break glass, scream bleed to death

162 - bad spellers of the world untie

163 - as a computer i find your faith in technology amusing

Tyrrial

163 - it's not death but dying that alarms me!

oompa loompa

164. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.


165. Always remember that you're unique (just like everybody else)


166. An unbreakable toy is always ample for breaking other toys.


167. Good health is merely a pleasant label for: "The Slowest Possible Rate At Which a Person Can Die"