Quotes, expressions, etc.

iornman

168. Don't believe what you read unless it's true.

169. I wear women's panties.

170. Smile when you feel like cryin, you miserable bastard.

171. If you can't smile, cry and sob really dramatically so that it's funny to other people.

172. Never let them get you down; unless they're hot, naked and female.

173. It's takes two to tango and three to thango.

174. Don't talk crap on bulletin boards, Ah ****, too late!

175. Get an education but forget it as soon as you can.

176. Quit your job, tell your boss to f**k off and run naked down the street screaming " Can't we all just get along", Go on do it! You know you want to!!

177. Never listen to other peoples advice, they hate you.

178. Don't listen to me, i hate you.

179. Love yourself coz no one else will!

180. And finally every night say to yourself, God give me the power to rock!

karma kabbage

181 - The Tax Poem
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his ass
Tax the roads he must pass.

Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his booze, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX

karma kabbage

182 - To Mary, the love of my life -- There is nothing I would not do to
reach your side. I would climb the highest mountain! I would cross
the trackless desert! I would swim the widest ocean to be near you,
my beloved.
With love and tenderness, Jonathan
P.S. See you Saturday night, if it doesn't rain

Tyrrial

183:
some woman: sir if i was your wife i'd put poison in you coffee
Churchill: and if you were my wife, i'd drink it!

i really do love the tax song it's really cool!

Cozpyro

You're Drunk Sir!
Ah yes madam, but in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly!

karma kabbage

185 - eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you all day

186 - The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

187 - There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

i really do love the tax song

thanky

Tyrrial

188 - all that laughing will soon turn to tears

-my mom

paniniter

does 132 make sense to anyone?
the response doesn't make any sense
'this is an answer is supposed'

i think 29 is my fav so far

189 - if you go to bed with an itchy bum, you wake up with a smelly finger.

EdBanger

Yes 132 makes sence.

190- there are 10 types of people in this world: those that understand Binary,
and those that don't

-New Scientist

Macseamusa

for 132 i made a mistake there is ment to be a , after answer so it wud read No but this is an answer, is supposed

191 the diameter divides into the circumference, you know. It ought to be 3 times. You'd think so, wudnt u? But does it? No. 3.141 and lots of other figures. There's no end to the buggers. Do you know how pissed off that makes me?

Macseamusa

191 continued i pressed the wrong button.
I expect it makes u extremely pissed off
Right. It tells me the creator used the wrong kind of circles. It's not even a proper number!!! I mean 3.5, you could respect. Or 3.3. That'd look right ......................................................................£.141. What sort of a number d'you call that?
It sounds horrible
Damm right. Somewhere, somewhere someone built a universe with a decent, respectable value of, of', he peered blankly at the table, 'of pie'- a drunken Terry Prachett character talking about pie,..not the nice pie u eat but that bastard maths one

da_deadman

192. Each day is better than the next

193. If you ever say that to me again I'll put your head through that wall

194.I know what your thinking. your thinking did he fire five times or six. Well to tell the truth in all this excitement i lost track myself. But seeing as how this is a Colt .45 and will blow your head clean off, you gotta ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? ..........................................................Well, do ya, punk?

no.s 149 and 165 are good

Macseamusa

195 *******!!!! What the **** is evil about *******?-Ozzy Osbourne

Macseamusa

the first and last word i my last one is ment to be *******

Macseamusa

lol it wont even let me type b u b b l e s

karma kabbage

196 - i may be gullible but at least i have this magic fish

Tyrrial

197 - though little it is tasty
198 - it is a long road that has no bends
199 - the far away hills are green

200 - never take advice from little packets of sugar


- most of the above information was taken from small packets of sugar in a perticular coffee shop.

karma kabbage

201 - "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents."
- Andrew Carnegie

202 - "Chasing a dream, a dream no one else can see or understand, like running after a butterfly across an endless meadow, is extremely difficult."
- W. P. Kinsella

203 - "One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."
- Elbert Hubbard

Macseamusa

here is a poem about beef, although its not as funny as the tax song.
204 Beef
What a relief
When will this poisonous product cease
This is another public service announcement
You can believe it or can you doubt it
Let us begin with the cow
The way it gets to your plate and how
The cow doesn't grow feet fast enough for man
So thru his greed he makes a faster plan

He has drugs to make the cow grow quicker
Thru the stress the cow gets sicker
21 different drugs are pumped
into the cow in one big lump
so just before it dies it cries
in the slaughterhouse full of germs and flies
Off with the head!

They pack it, drain it, and cart it
And there it is in your local supermarket
Red and bloody, a corpse neatly packed
And u wonder about heart attacks
C'mon now man, lets be for real
You are what you eat is the way i feel

But the food and drug administration
will tell you meat is the perfect combination
See cows live under fear and stress
Tyrin' to think whats's gonna happen next
Fear and stress can become part of you
In your cells and blood, this is true

So when the cow is killed believe it
you preserve those cells, you freeze it
thaw it out with the blood and seaon it
then you sit down and begin eatin' it
In your body it's structure becomes your structure
All the fear and stress another

Any drug is addictive by any name
Even drugs in meat, they're the same
The fda has america strung out
On drugs in beef, no doubt
So if you think that what i say is a bunch of crock
Tell yourself your going to try and stop
Eatin' meat
And you'll see you can't compete
It's the number one drug on the street

Not crack
cause that was made for just blacks
But brown beef for all american teeth
Life brings life and death brings death
Keep on eating the dead and thats what's left

Absolute disease and negative
Read the book "Hot to eat to live"
By Elijah Mohammed. it's a brown paperback
For anybody either white or black
See, how many cows must be pumped up fatter
How many rats gotta fall in the batter

How many chickens that eat **** you eat?
How much blood presure you get from from pigs feet
See you'll consume, the fda could care less
They'll sell you donkey meat and say it's fresh

by jim mahfood


lovely eh?

Macseamusa

yes that was rather long
205 In the future, there will be no more planned tv shows. TV will simply consist of everyday people running around with cameras filming real life situations- Andy Warhol...20 years ago.

what he said sounds better than the **** that gets put on tv now. the salon and big brother, what a load of c ock

206 If this(the real world) is supposed to prepresent the 'real world' how come ther are nohandicaped people? or fat people? or old people? or homeless people? or intelligent people? - Jim mahfood

iornman

207. you gotta kill yourself to live.

Macseamusa

208 Michael: i hate fried rice
Me: yeh i hate fridays too.
:ninja: another classic me moment