**** Buddies?

LegacyUser

Hi all!

Heres the Background info:

Got talking to an ex-g/f of mine today. I went out with this girl for about a month and slept with her once. It didnt feel right because this was the girl I lost my viginity to and wasn't that mad about her, so I dumped her.

I Havent really seen her in the last year (she goes to the same college as me though), so we were catching up on old times and all the usual gossip etc when the conversation eventually got around to the relationshup status.

I told her that I was just after breaking up with my most recent g/f (after her) and wasn't seeing anyone at present. I returned the question and she said that she was single too. She told me the usual thing, that going out with someone is too much trouble etc because you have to call them every night of the week etc. To this point I agreed.

*Then I get hit by a Brick*

Her - " I sometimes wish I had a **** buddy " - with a cheeky smile.... I thought she was messing so I decided to play

Me - " Yeah, sure sounds good. No commitment etc.... "

Her - " you Never know, you can always gimme your number.... "

Me - " Sure, Gimme yours too"

Her - " Seriously?" smiling again

Me - "Yeah!" *Now shocked and shaking that I am actually saying this!!*

So In the end we exchanged numbers and talked for a while longer and went our seperate ways.

____________________________________________

What I need to know now is, has anyone ever tried this out and are there any serious mess ups or mind fúcks?

What is your opinion?

I'm 21 and I think I should go for it and keep an eye open for anyone really who comes along (while being safe ) and enjoy like.

Tbh, I wouldn't go out with her again, but I definately like this idea of no commitment.

*p.s. sorry if this is offensive to anyone

tman

give her a quick rodgering & then tell the dumb broad to stop watching sex & the city.

The Corinthian

Some people get very screwed up by such arrangements, others don’t. Depends upon your temperament. Personally, I’ve always been fond of fuck buddies and have never had any problems with any of them - it’s the girlfriends I’ve always been a disaster with

Ultimately, it may not be for either of you or she may back down once you call her bluff, but there’s frankly only one way to find out. Carpe diem.

Makaveli

Sex with no strings attached is sex with no strings attached. If this is all it is then go for it, otherwise be careful she may be looking for more. Just make sure you're both on the same page for sure before crossing the line.

xx

Go for it my son, but if either of you start getting feelings for each other again, end it.

AngelAine

Be careful...

Although she seems game and she suggested it you have to remember that girls can be fickle (trust me I am one!).

It seems like a great arrangement provided neither one of you give a **** about each other....its the only way it will work!

sisob

Personally I wouldn't bother because I don't thing sex is really worth it without love.

But a lot of people disagree with me, so if you think you can resisit the urge to fall asleep in her arms afterwards then go for it.

At the very least it would be an experience you can laugh about later.

fisty

Originally posted by sisob
Personally I wouldn't bother because I don't thing sex is really worth it without love.

lol.
grow up - getting your end away is always worth it - give her one for me an all.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

im with sisob on this one, sex just doesn't seem important to me unless it's with someone I care about.

but if you think you and she can handle the whole ****-buddies thing, then by all means go for it if that's what you want.

theciscokid

she doesn't have any friends does she?

phaxx

Originally posted by fisty
lol.
grow up - getting your end away is always worth it - give her one for me an all.

Nah I think you're the one who needs to grow up, I think that's a pathetic attitude.

Clintons Cat

Fu(k Buddy/Girlfriend/just good friends/no strings attached.

it all boils down to the same thing in the end.

Go for it but just remember there is no such thing in life as an "uncomplicated relationship".

And If either of you is seeing other partners you should use a condom.<Mandatory Safe Sex Message>

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

you should use a condom anyway, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship

..erm.. you know what I mean

Stanley_kubrick

Ever been scared ****less of the waiting for a period?I have .My g/f had a miscarraige(someone spell) once and sadly it was my lazy sperm that caused it.Use a jonnie and the contra or ull know what im saying.

Victor

Try having "casual text" with her first, see where it goes. It got my flatmate some last night.

Kenshin

So... what's her number?

Turner

Go for it, its the ideal situation. Its like having a one night stand whenever you want. Every mans dream. Well most men anyway.

yellum

You can have **** buddies once its only about sex. If all u want is your hole and the other person is the same then go for it. You do need to remember though that its not a substitute for a relationship.

It does mess some people up. Might be harder to deal with if you had a past relationship with each other.

I have/do meet up with ppl now and then for just sex and it seems to be okay. If you're horny and masturbation ain't working for ya then maybe a **** buddy is the thing to do. I do live in fear though of the person going "I love you" afterwards. Oh NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cake Fiend

Probably a bad idea with someone you've had a relationship with in the past. It can be very easy to slip into the couply things and destroy the whole 'sex only' idea.
I've just tried to quit a fu<k-buddy type situation after it got messy (enter emotional sh1t stage left) and it ain't easy, and that was with someone I've only known a month or so.

WhiteWashMan

scrubs.
season 2
episode 11


my sex buddy.

all you need to know......

rymus

sweet mother of god man.... dont do it! Sure it seems like a larf now, a quick & easy way of getting rid of all that sexual tension, but it only causes problems. It's just not worth the hassle..

Ride a lamppost, they won't go psycho on you...

Lemming

"Different strokes for different folks" as the saying goes .....

I'm more of the opinion that sex for sex' sake isn't as good as sex inside of a relationship. I've never really enjoyed one-night stands at all.

That said .... I did have a f**k buddy once and, well, it was fun as we both knew where we stood and she wasn't going to be around for periods of time (her being swedish and all) since she'd be going home and then coming back to work here, etc, etc. I think it was probably the fact that I knew "a little" more about her than her name that made it more enjoyable than a one-nighter.

That said about my own experiences - I would strongly recommend that you be careful about the whole thing, especially since it IS with someone whom you once went out.

The Corinthian

There are both good and bad reasons for people becoming fuck buddies. The good ones include:

• Too busy - work commitments, etc.
• They make you very hot and bothered, but you can’t stand them as people.
• You share similar (uncommon) fetishes.
• They and/or you are already in a relationship.

Bad reasons include:

• She/he is an ex and going back together would be a bad idea, but you miss the intimacy of being with them.
• You met her through a classified in Guns 'n Ammo.

If you are doing so for the right reasons, then the whole fuck buddy concept works well enough as long as you adhere to a number of strict rules:

1. Don’t meet your fuck buddy any more than once every few weeks.
2. Do not invite your fuck buddy to any social occasions (e.g. dinner parties, receptions, weddings, etc.).
3. Don’t treat your fuck buddy as if they were your boyfriend/girlfriend - they’re not, and may well be someone else’s boyfriend/girlfriend. So, don’t start bringing them out to lavish restaurants or buy them gifts or start bringing them shopping.
4. The moment you feel your fuck buddy is forgetting any of the above rules, cool off and avoid them for a month or two. If the problem persists, drop them altogether.
5. Keep a second fuck buddy.

As I posted before, it depends largely upon the temperament of both (or all three, in some cases) parties involved.

For some sex without love is an empty experience and would never consider having a fuck buddy, and that’s their prerogative - whatever melts their butter. For others, it’s still an empty experience, but (in the words of Woody Allen) as far as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

Sposs

I had a ****buddy for bout two years it worked out great until ....................... "we get on so well,maybe we should go out with each properly" .

Ah well worked for two years any longer and i suppose your asking for more.

the Guru

Dont think about it just do it unless she is a minger.

But dont get trapped in a relationship.

everybody has had one

bug

You silly boy, although it may sound great in theory-do you really,honestly think that this is all this girl wants????? Ask yourself...sorry to put a dampener on your fantasy world.
You dumped her right? She was quite happy with you? Just think about it, it could be a fatal attraction scenario.

Typedef

Hello : Time to awaken yourself.

There is no such thing as sex with no strings (emotional) attached. Eventually, one party or the other invariably wants something more or better.

Remember girls intrinsically are not as crass as males, no matter how much they front, underneath it, women are more emotionally fragile then men.

Her suggesting the two of you see each other as fuk buddies, is just a means for her to instanciate a relationship with you, in the abscence of the formalised boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that existed before.

Be aware of this and be aware of the fact that if you do sleep with this girl a few times, she will most likely, want to see you as your girlfriend (again), so you can choose to see her on the permis that she will most likely get to that place eventually, or you can delude yourself into thinking that no-strings sex, with your ex-girlfriend is a flier.

No strings sex with the ex-girlfriend, as if.

eth0_

There's a show on Sky1 (or possibly E4 not sure) tonight at 10 about f*ck buddies, might be interesting for some of you

The Saint

The same kind of thing happened to me with an ex who I went out with for a year but after the first time I realised what her game was and that was the end of that. If you do proceed with this and she eventually wants to take it further and you break the agreement and leave she will tell everyone how you used her for sex and left her like a typical male bastard and all of her friends and aquainences will hate you forever. Trust me, I've been there and years on am still there, but I dont care coz they are a bunck of ****ing psychos.

The Corinthian

I probably should have added to my above series of points that the whole fuck buddies concept rarely works with people who have not hit thirty or thereabouts, for the reasons currently being highlighted.

Kell

Originally posted by The Saint
she will tell everyone how you used her for sex and left her like a typical male bastard and all of her friends and aquainences will hate you forever. Trust me, I've been there

Jeebus saint, you know some fúcked up women.;)

yossarin

why dont you do it with her a few times and then regret it / see if its a good thing or not?

/typical male comment

The Saint

Jeebus saint, you know some fúcked up women.

Yip. This particular girl was always ****ed up and I was the only one who didnt realise it until I broke up with her then she went ****ing psycho and kept calling me telling me I ruined her life and that she hated me and then the next day telling me she loved me and wanted to try again. She got her whole family to hate me by lying her ass off (which cosequently she did all along with everyone she knew) too which was a shame coz I got on better with them than I did with her. Thankfully all of her friends and my friends knew she was a compulsive lier so it worked out quite well. I never knew some women could be like that.

mooman_00

i know a lot of women who get like that, they can go fukking nuts alright

The Corinthian

Not unusual to find such extreme emotional responses in people. Of course, on the upside, they can make for some great entertainment:

Old Chinese proverb - "Fragile objects dropped from great heights make interesting noises" :rolleyes:

Giblet

Do it until it gets boring or she starts getting attached and then, tell her you have become gay.

The Saint

Yeah, that'll do miracles for her self confidence.

Kairo

Originally posted by The Saint
Yeah, that'll do miracles for her self confidence.

If she's only a f*ck buddy, then why care?

To hell with telling her you're gay! Tell her you have syphilis. She won't be back in a hurry, I tell you.

Stanley_kubrick

Thats nasty.
Hhehehe

polarbelly

was watchin a programme bout this on e4 last night, quite an interesting topic

thedrowner

that's what you were talking about polarbelly?! i'm so slow. anyway, i think i'd be scared to get a **** buddy. and i think im about to get one . i guess you'll never know how you'll feel until after it. i don't think it's a good idea to do it with someone you ahve a history with though.

BuffyBot

There is no such thing as sex with no strings (emotional) attached. Eventually, one party or the other invariably wants something more or better.

Bollox. Plain and simple. Maybe, just maybe, in your experience..but don't generalise.

My only qualm about this particular situation is that there is a previous tie bwetween the two parties which could make it more complicated.

Typedef

Bollox.

In your opinion, but, don't force your tunnel vision down on me man.... set my people free.

I just pose the porposition that when you have sex with someone one or another party (presumably both) parties become emotionally involved, eventually.

Certainly between men and women, I don't subscribe to the notion of sex buddies, for women, I don't particularly think that is the way intimate relationships work.

Men can be a little more crass in that regard, quite obviously, but my point (in the heterosexual sense) is that for women anyway, I don't really think the idea of a sex buddy is a valid proposition for most women, because, lets face it, women like romance and affection and about the last thing having sex for the sake of sex is, is romantic or affectionate, for a woman.

It's just sex.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
Men can be a little more crass in that regard

You really need to get out more Typey... :rolleyes:

Typedef

Bah tell it to the masses.

Typedef : Thinks it's pretty conservative to think that 'everbody' is an unreformed hedonist. Typedef, for example is well reformed at this stage.

And no-body can prove otherwise....
I've made sure of it.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Typedef

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Damn right. Silk scarves are better though.. and no friction burns either!

I don't do sex, without strings*

*emotional....

go on... take that bait

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Typedef

Well that's the thing.

There is no bait... but, you know, loaded threads like this can sometimes bring all sorts out of the woodwork.... who find innuendo in everyday objects and phrases.

Thus, conversation becomes impossible... due to paranoid people looking for bait, where there is none.

I reckon it's something to do with the Oedipus complex*

*honest.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
And no-body can prove otherwise....
I've made sure of it.

Touch of the Geoffrey Dahmer here, methinks...