Some really bad ones here!!!

Chinafoot

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any
trouble.
Unfortunately, one was a salted.
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A jump lead walks into a bar.
The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts
Woman comes up to him and says, "What are you supposed to be?"
The man says "A premature ejaculation."
"What?" says the woman
The man explains,"I've just come in my pants."
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Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant
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Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doctor.
The Doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
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"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well...It's not unusual........."
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Two cows standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!" _____________________________________________________

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an
Electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
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Answer phone message
".... If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull**** before
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A man takes his Rotweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,
Is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"
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Two elephants walk off a cliff ...... boom boom!
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad.
Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
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A man walks into doctor's office.
What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with Hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.
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Whats E.T. short for?
Cos he's got little legs.

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i know i know............they're bloody awful but some of them made me giggle.:rolleyes:

Tyrrial

the time i spent reading them, is time well spent...
some of them are quite a good giggle

Pugsley

Whats E.T. short for?
Cos he's got little legs.

teeheehee. Some good ones there

hells angels

sum good 1's there but sum very lame 1's aswell....;)

jonno

HeeHee, me likes the Chinese joke:p