Insecurity

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm just wondering does anyone know what help is available out there for people with insecurity problems...

I'm 20 and I suffer really bad with insecurity. I feel insecure in relationships, with friends, at home and even walking down the street. It seems to be getting worse as I get older. I think the worst of everything, in relationships I just wait for him to get sick of me or find someone better. With friends I'm paranoid, thinking they will just be friends with me until someone else comes along. At home I feel I have no one.

I would love to try and put an end to this, it leads to me not trusting anyone and ruins everthing....

Evil Phil

Do you live in dublin? I know that the Guide to Evening classes has classes to increase self confidence and self assertion listed.

Maybe you should consider talking to a counseller. Insecurity can be caused by deeper issues - counselling will give you an environment where you can safely explore the causes and do something about them. If you're in college see your college counseller, if not talk to your gp, or any gp and they will be able to help.

Insecurity is a common part of your early twenties but it sounds to me like you may be going through something worse than most of your peers are experiencing.

Victor

Lots of people suffer from insecurity of one kind or another. However if you find that you are still functional (you can still go about your daily routine OK) then it is really only a matter of working on confidence measures.

However if you have become non-functioning (won't get up in the morning, can't work / study, afraid to go out or meet people) then it might be time to talk to your GP.

Doodee

Really, you should just talk to these ppl who you are insecure about, As reguards the boyfriend issue, im sure if he felt the same way as you may with him you'll be together a while, but I will say this, if you are avoiding saying the right things to him because of your insecurity then tell him, Friends of mine and myself once have walked out on a good thing before by not being upfront and honest.

Silent Grape

hey, im 19, and im pretty insecure myself and at the moment its driving me up the wall! i think people are looking at me in a negative way, or speaking about me negatively. once two girls were staring at me and whispering. it turns out they wanted to know where i bought my skirt and they were debating who'd ask me because neither of them wanted to. probably because i was throwing them such suspicious looks! ive lost my two best friends in the last few months so my trust levels have gone way down.

you know whever im feeling crappy because of friend, boyfriend and family insecurities, i make sure i take care of myself, i make a routine and try to stick to it. i excersize or ill feel fat and crap, i take care of my dog because she needs me, i study and i feel accomplished and i make sure i can express myself without hurting enybody, especially myself. my insecurites led to me abusing myself quite seriously, so now i take extra special care of myself. i be my own best friend, my own parent. when im feeling crap and lonely, i have a bath and get some popcorn and a film and spend the night pampering myself. Be as good to yourself as you possibly can be. it may be lonely and horrible sometimes but with confidence comes trust in yourself, and then comes trust in others and sense of security, only when you believe in yourself.

take good care of yourself and check out a counseller or group thing. there's aware meetings all over the place and they're filled with people with similiar problems as ours. u might meet some people who realy do understand, because i know how lonely it is to have friends who dont even appear to Want to understand.

sorry for the rambling! good luk and if you want a chat just pm me : ) x

Sarky

Had a wee bit of trouble with this kind of thing myself back in the day. I think it was mainly caused by a near-obsession with what others would think when I said or did anything. I stopped caring about how other people saw me, and did my own thing, lived my own life for myself. Now I'm leading quite a happy life.

Don't try to be something you're not for other people, just be yourself and do what you believe is the best thing to do. Be honest with yourself and others, and people can't help liking you for who you are.

A bit clichéd, perhaps, but true in my case at least.

Victor

Originally posted by Sarky
... caused by a near-obsession with what others would think when I said or did anything.

What kills me isn't what others think of me, its what I think of me.

Webmonkey

I'm de same. llost all confidence in myself

Matfinn

I was in the same boat as you until very recently. I used to be plagued with insecurity and my self confidence had been completely obliterated. Im 20 years old now and I spent about 4 years telling myself how **** I was, when it wasnt true. Were you by any chance bullied by someone in school or given a hard time by older brothers and sisters? I was by both and they almost convinced me i was some crap person ( which i wasnt necessarily ). I kept on that depressing insecurity path because I felt I had nothing to look forward to, only more school and college and work. Give yourself a focus, something to do, some goal to achieve and do all you can to achieve it. Your confidence will go up as a result, well it is for me.

Im going off to Europe in the summer, I have up the fags and I do weights regularly. You should do something similir. It is important that you do regular excercise, or you will end up like a turd on a couch thinking your about as useful as a sack of spuds. Just remember you can do all this stuff and if any dicks try to make you feel like your an asshole, **** them.

Hope that helps

Matt