Men as friends when your female

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Once we get it out of our system we'd make great friends tbh.

Indeed. An empty sack is a happy sack.

Victor

I remember when I was 18 I was mad about this girl in college, she was someone really worth knowing and one night she asked me up to dance and I'm thinking "wahey, I'm in", but I didn't push it, wanting to evaluate the situation further (and 'cos I'm a complete chicken). Anyway, next song she danced with soemone else and I sat down and chatted with her friend. The friend copped on to my intentions. Anyway there was a big bruhaha as the guy she was dancing with was her boyfriend and "how dare I" even think about her when she was going out with someone. OK yes I did think about her a lot, but not stalker like, I could respect she was going out with someone.

Anyway a year after, I decided to give her a half dozen red roses as a friendly gesture and she freaked out bigtime (it only hit me last year how much - ten years later). Another time her 15 year old sister decided to do some match making and we both laughed it off.

So I think guys can be ambiguous, if it's on the menu we will consider it, if it tasted bad last time, we need to be drunk to try it again (think curry chips after 12 pints).

Originally posted by Dr_Teeth
Personally speaking I'm inclined to agree with Typedef, there is always a sexual element in a male to female friendship which has to be resolved before they can be truely 'just' friends. Ways of resolution may include:
... 5. The female being gay ...

Actually, this doesn't always stop them.

Bottle_of_Smoke

one week ago i got a message out the blue telling me i was no longer a friend because of how much i 'screwed him around in the past'

Word of advice don't post things this detailed unless you're really not bothered about people who might know you knowing everything you've said on boards!

And paragraphs would be nice!

Doodee

unreg, just talk to him about it. be honest, direct and brutal. let him know exactly where he stands, with no room for mistakes.

To true.
The fact is that they arent really friends if they were only after one thing...
A proper friend would be able to realise that you dont feel the same and just continue with the friendship.

If they aint friends, they will go off in a huff, sulk and bitch about you, which isnt your loss then, as they arent friends.

I think its quite possible to have both male and female friends, reguardless of flirting and such.

Friendships require people to be open and honest, so dont neglect this, talk to the person, tell them you dont want anything to happen, and you are just looking for friends, if they leave, they will leave, but remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you will find some1 whom you can just be friends with.

As for all women are bitches. I dont really think so, You just are talking to the wrong people.

pickarooney

Post your photo, and all the lads will give you a thumbs up or down. Then you can meet up with whoever reckons you're a minger and go have coffee or see a film or... what the hell do men and women who are friends but don't fancy one another do anyway?

Beëlzebooze

my best friend for quite a couple of years was a woman, she was really nice (no doubt she still is, we have lost contact over the years). We had the best fun together, cinema, dancing, eating hotdogs while we watched all the soaps. best of all was we would go into town to chat up women (she was gay).

I shared a bed with her on many an occasion, but there was no sex involved, just two mates that needed sleep and just one bed handy.

come to think of it, I miss her quite a bit now. Will have to see where she is living, and give her a bell!

mooman_00

Originally posted by Beëlzebooze
my best friend for quite a couple of years was a woman, she was really nice. We had the best fun together, cinema, dancing, eating hotdogs while we watched all the soaps.

I too love it when my lesbian friend chows down on my hotdog while we watch corrie!

Beëlzebooze

Chow down? nah she just licked off the sauce........

mooman_00

lol

RopeDrink

My best friend is female.
I've known her for nine years and we meet up every so often to have a laugh / bounce our problems off one another etc etc

Funnily enough (Even though she is an attractive lady) I have never thought of her in any other way other than just being a friend.

Infact the majority of my friends are female simply because the majority of MEN I know only think with that little thing I call a meat rod, and I find the usual "Look at that bird over there" - "What a fine arse / pair of tits" - "I'd do her" bull**** a little too repeatetive...

It is a rare thing for a man to be a 'proper' friend with a woman without wanting sex, but it does happen... But as I said, rarely...

As for unreg, if they are thinking of nothing but hitching with you / having sex with you, they are not your friends and I wouldn't waste my time and energy putting up with them.

smiles

Guys tend to fall in love alot, especially with women who they can talk to, because they assume because they can talk to you then you're perfect for them.

*grrrr* this has happened to me far too many times for my own liking, mostly you can give out to them and they'll carry on being mates and eventually grow out of it.

It's partially hormonal, mostly due to the fact that men are idiots who don't know the meaning of friendship. :P

<< Fio >>

Doodee

/me extends arm, retracts forearm and hand, points elbow at fio

"Yea, Talk to the Elbow hunny"
:P

Did we not have this arguement on Tuesday night?
or something along those lines.....

SOL

Originally posted by smiles
Guys tend to fall in love alot, especially with women who they can talk to, because they assume because they can talk to you then you're perfect for them.

*grrrr* this has happened to me far too many times for my own liking, mostly you can give out to them and they'll carry on being mates and eventually grow out of it.

It's partially hormonal, mostly due to the fact that men are idiots who don't know the meaning of friendship. :P

<< Fio >>

Seriously I will manage to keep a straight face and resist the urge to make evil comments for the rest of this post :P

Cheez

from what little i've read i recon that chap who ur friends with likes u yea,but theres a thing where u think hes still in that stage where he wants u and hes pisd off cuz ur probly up ur own hole and hes trying to have a conversation and feels ur flirting with other guys. Ask him exactly WHY he goes off in a huff,dont just presume its becuz he wants to fuk u
men can be friends with females and not wanna fuk em
it doesnt mean that they'd fuk em if they'd fuk u if they got the chance.
itts common sence i think that a person wud fuk a nice looking person if they had the chance and they wern't already hooked up with someone yea? but ya filter through it with reason,"shes my friend and i feel platonic love towards her.....,but hehe she has nice boobies".
learn perspecive or somethin jeez

yours
a grumpy fuk
peace

LegacyUser

Cheez, on that night I didnt think he had gone off in a huff because of me. He can get very depressed at times and I just presummed it was because of that (hence alot of worry). I dont think Im anything special or anything like that, I dont even understand the attention I get. To me Im me nothing more. I found out it was because of his feelings for me from a mutual friend of ours. Our mutual friend also informed me of the intense nature of this guys feelings for me. I honestly thought that this had all been sorted out a year back.

This weekend Im going to meet up with him and talk things through. He has got to know that he has to respect my feelings and seeing him so upset doesnt help me or him. I will not be emotionally blackmailed into a relationship. I cant love him the way he wants and I really wish I could.

Id try the get a boyfriend approach but I need to be in a realationship like I need a hole in the head lol.

Thanks all.

loveheartsandnicotine

my best friend is a man. He loves me to bits and I love him. We have been pals for maybe 20 yrs?. Now if this guy loves you, then does, theres nothing you can do to make him NOT. Just be there for him.
And it IS possible to have an opposite sex bestest friend.
Just dont make such an issue of it ...u may lose him as your pal
and contrary to all the replies youngot, not all ment think of women as a potential sex conquest. Best of luck

mooman_00

Originally posted by loveheartsandnicotine
..u may lose him as your pal
and contrary to all the replies youngot, not all ment think of women as a potential sex conquest. Best of luck

its not like we have a choice, if it moves it will be considered

LegacyUser

I spoke with him last weekend. Everything is sorted and we are as good mates as we were before. I do believe that men and woman can be friends and only that, after all we are all human. A little more communication does nobody any harm.

Thanks again.

Samara

Hey unreg, I know what you mean. I have a lot of male friends, which I have been mates with for seven/eight years. I have been with my current b/f for seven years and a lot of these are his friends too, but I often go on the piss with them without my b/f. A couple have made passes at me especially where alcohol is involved, I normally just laugh it off and we go on as if nothing has happened. It used to REALLY piss me but it's just human nature, when they share their thoughts and feelings with you they feel closer to you and the intimacy can be misleading and confusing so they feel that there is the possiblity that it can go further. One of them professed his love for me and told me he wanted to marry me, but again I laughed it off, and he knew that I didn't feel the same way. This was four years ago and we're still best of friends. The first couple of weeks after the declaration of love was a tad awkward but we got over it quickly enough and things settled back to normality. He has since found a g/f and become a Daddy. So if you're firm but don't make a big issue out of it they give up and accept that nothings going to happen. If they are friends worth having they will settle for friendship, if not, you're better off without them.


There is always some level of subconcious flirting between platonic male/female friends. Again it's human nature. So for you guys who gave her the advice of get a boyfriend - it doesn't make a blind bit of difference!!!!! She needs to make it clear that there is no hope of the relationship developing into anything else and if they refuse to accept it no matter how hard it is she'll have to move on and put a bit of distance between them.

And unreg, although I have quite a few male friends I do have a few good and hopefully lifelong female friends, don't dismiss the idea of forming friendships with females because of a few bad experiences.