When good times go Bad 2

Riamfada · 19-03-2003 2:49pm #1

Okay you guys might start to think all these women posts are freaky but im onehundred percent serious here.

Oki doki. This prob ties into that other post. Me and this girl ( lets call her Mrs X) have been friends for a while. Not best friends or anything. I have had feelings for her for about 3 weeks now and they have been fairly strong. Whenwe talk she keeps saying that she thinks im hiding somthing from her . The truth is that I am because i cant tell her how I feel. She has alot of trouble with her ex and things at home. I didnt want to add to her problems by telling her Like her when i knew that there was a very slim chance that she'd say it back to me.

Anyway, last Sunday we had a fight and yesterday another friend tells me that Mrs X knows how I feel. (Somone has told her on Sunday I guess) Now I get the feeling that she is avoiding me and dosnt want anymore to do with me.

Mrs X pulled me out of a deep turmoil when i was extremely down on myself. She has been a great friend to me and now its all messed up. Anyone just got any ideas. I need help. I dont want to loose a friend again.

Kali · 19-03-2003 3:04pm

You know. She knows. Other people know. Jesus man I think its time to swallow your pride get up a bit of courage and talk to her... regardless of your excuses that she has a lot on her plate, well she has this now too, sooner its sorted the better.
It really is that simple, nobody here could tell you what to say or act.

Gordon · 19-03-2003 3:18pm

Originally posted by Grimes
Mrs X pulled me out of a deep turmoil when i was extremely down on myself. She has been a great friend to me and now its all messed up. [...] I dont want to loose a friend again.

Why not tell her that and replace "she" with "you".

Oh and I presume she isn't really "Mrs" is she?

Kell · 19-03-2003 5:00pm

For a minute there I missed Gordons point. I couldent agree more with the general sentiment of talking to her about it. Would you really like to go out with this X person or are you happy to say "yes I have feelings for her, but it's not going to happen so I am content to leave it the way it is"?

Get on with it man- BE BRAVE

Riamfada · 19-03-2003 5:06pm

See the thing is i feel really really strong about this girl. Id like nothing more to go out with her, however id rather (as i have been doing) hide my feelings from her, grind my teeth and be the best friend I can be. Its kinda hard.

Its tust there is no-one around here I can talk to it about. Cause its all cloak and dagger stuff.

I feel like im 9 again

Ohhh will ye mee him?

Gordon · 19-03-2003 5:16pm

You'd rather hide your feelings than go out with her you say? OK, what's the problem then? Seems like you should hide your feelings if thats what you would prefer to do.

No?

Riamfada · 19-03-2003 5:18pm

But should I hide them? Thats it really. Is it worth risking a friendship to get
1 - the perfect answer
2 - and emotionaly scaring answer

Kell · 19-03-2003 5:42pm

1- The perfect Answer what have you got to lose? If the friendship is as strong as you have implied she'll weather it

2- an emotionally scaring answer Are you strong enough to weather rejection?

Using my own experience as a yard stick, I have normally got stuff like that out in the open and have wound up laughing with said person afterwards as to how dumb I was for suggesting it in the first place. As I said, if the relationship is good then she'll weather it.

K-

Trojan · 19-03-2003 5:43pm

Tell her the truth if you believe you can stay friends afterwards.

I'd advise talking to her (and telling most if not all of the truth) in any case.

Al.

NobodyImportant · 19-03-2003 7:49pm

Just get her to sit down with you and lay it all out.

1. You like her

2. IF nothing will ever happen between you two, then you can accept this and you would like to remain close friends.

Dont go hiding things, letting her find out from other about other stuff, clear the air, it will be a big weight off your shoulders.

evie · 14-04-2003 3:53pm

As Kali said

You know. She knows. Other people know.

It's out in the open now, so run with it! Talk to her. Explain to her what you said in the thread. If she is your friend and that's all she want's to be, she's not going to laugh in your face. She must value our frienxdship and be willing to hold on to it so she's not going to blow you off.
Maybe she will be up for it too. Who knows, we could all be gong to a wedding in the near future.
Whatever you do, keep your chin up and good luck!

wee_lady · 14-04-2003 6:43pm

i think if i was Mrs X and someone told me i was liked by my mate i mite not actually believe them! i'd be inclined to think it was just speculating. but in saying all that i would actually want to know but id prefer to hear it from the horses mouth so to speak.

as well as that would u not rather face rejection now rather than

(a) live your life wondering wot could have been

or

(b) loose a good friend over something that could be worked out easily

i think u should go for it, u never know she mite feel the same way....

gluck mate

The Clown Man · 14-04-2003 6:57pm

You risk nothing by talking to her about it.

As long as you're not swearing undying love or anything and that wrists will be cut on rejection and all that sheet.

Just tell her. She might just understand you know ....

If no then you say, nevermind, i'll deal with it, probably just a phase anyway. And other lame excuses.

If yes then work it from there.

Either way, you're not going to lose the friendship.

When good times go Bad 2

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