Michael Moore

Benbaz

Didn't know where to post this, but I suppose it is quite satirical, so humour board it is then!!



A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War
by Michael Moore

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France
and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad
to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya,
having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I
could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day,
'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News
aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of
the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five
people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND
THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No
Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average
Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to
our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how
that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are
not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real
issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I
or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost
since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no
one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now
costs almost two dollars -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will
not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to
improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a
popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you,
Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But
even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does
it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this
war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just
like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your
place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South
Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you
really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters
over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits.
And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also
sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't
THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups.
Yes, some of them can pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we
wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the
French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for
us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson,
Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined the
concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our
Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a
Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who
invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can
do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing
on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know,
you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over.
Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has
painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this
war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there
aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam
Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the
popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to
see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some
third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to
next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll
all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink
even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the
election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis --
they got our oil!!

Yours, Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com

Mr E

I enjoyed that. MM is a shit stirrer of the highest order, but he has alot of valid points there.

- Dave.

koneko

Absolutely. I'll be filing this in my classic quotes collection:

"Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just
like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place."

Pugsley

some good wee quotes to be stolen from that methinks, pretty good read

anthonymcg

Good read alright.

bozzie

right wars on

damn bush shoulda heeded the letter

Giblet

It's from Stupid White Men, which is a good book.

BioHazRd

Originally posted by Giblet
It's from Stupid White Men, which is a good book.

No it's not, and yes it is


Bio

Squall

We got a question in our pres that had an interview with this gut in it. It was great got to rip the piss outta bush. Might pick up that book seems like itd be a good read. He directed bowling for columbine too might be worth a look.

LoGiE

Read this in the paper today. He makes some good points alright.

*Red beam comes from grassy knoll aimed at back of Michael Moores head.

Woden

yeah bowling for columbine was good alright worth the look, not sure if it is still in the screen or gone.

MrJoeSoap

I just got his book "Stupid White Men" today, and I have found it almost impossible to put down. Really funny, but incredibly serious at the same time. I only started getting interested in him after he came up in my English Mock Leaving Cert Paper, but now I really want to see Bowling For Columbine. He's a great guy.

Macker

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you ...


says it all


Macker

DerekD Goldfish

Does anyone remember his t.v show on channel 4 a couple of years back. He hated bush even then and was protesting outside a prision where bush was putting another man to death(bush put more people to death in Texes during his time in charge than all the other states put togeter).
another time he had an interview with a person who got turred down by the cops because he was too smart.He took an application test and scored so highly they thought he was too smart and would get bored with the job.

scuzzy

bush put more people to death in Texes during his time in charge than all 51 other states put togeter

Say what? Are you being ironic?

Sangre

Theres 52 states in America now?

What are they Afghanistan and Iraq?

Dredz

Michael Moore rocks.

Very good read.

DerekD Goldfish

appologies for cock up in previous post.
has anyone read his prevous book im thinking of getting it?

Gambler

Read and loved them both!

TomTom

I have to say the stuff about the french is very true. America is very fickle about friends. If you don't do what they want your no good and don't seem to want the best for the world. This war is a farce.

You would almost forget this is a humour board.

Woden

did anyone see him at the oscar's? i missed it but i heard everyone was cheering him to he started talking about the war, then people started booing and the orchestra was ordered to play up, apparently the critics where saying that it was ridiculous as they where booing him one moment for talking bad about bush while they had been just clapping a minute earlier for his film which stated the same stuff.

this is second hand info so if someone can clarify or confirm please do.

TomTom

It did happen. I seen a bit of it. He was clapped as he went up on stage and i think some people clapped for him when he talked about bush although the majority booed him.

RED HORN

It's true Michael Moore rocks.

birdbath

Originally posted by Dataisgod
yeah bowling for columbine was good alright worth the look, not sure if it is still in the screen or gone.

bowling for columbine