Gooner Spotting

bucks73

Choose Arsenal

Choose overbearing arrogance

Choose to see yourselves as one of the giants of continental football when you’ve never even reached a European cup semi-final in your entire history!!!!!

Choose systematic dirty play and call it “competitiveness”

Choose the most staged, contrived, up-your-own-ar$es goal celebrations ever witnessed

Choose having the ugliest man on earth as your centre-back and the second ugliest as your manager

Choosing winning two championships in eleven seasons and acting like you’ve won seven in nine

Choose drawing 99% of your fan base from the ranks of the suburban English middle classes

Choose Patrick Vieira whinging about having to play too much football even though he gets six games rest every season due to suspensions

Choose paying £9 million for Francis Jeffers

Choose Dennis Bergkamp and his carefully timed elbows into the side of the head

Choose deliberately disrespecting and belittling the other team by playing keep-uppy in the opposition half with a few minutes to go

Choose forcing merchandise vendors out of business because they might deprive you of a couple of hundred quid on match days

Choose fancying yourselves as better than Real Madrid, then having Auxerre run rings around you at home

Choose Sol Campbell continually tripping over himself

Choose turning the sports section of the observer into a gunners fanzine

Choose getting away with light or delayed punishments at FA disciplinary hearing because you’ve had every possible string pulled by David Dein

Choose a persecution complex nonetheless and never shut up about it

Choose gamesmanship

Choose embaressing yourselves in a Renault “Va-Va-Voom” ad and then disgracing yourselves further at the World Cup Finals

Choose David Seaman and his public mid-life crisis

Choose watching an opponent miss a last-minute penalty against you, then running after him and jeering him

Choose George Graham grinding his way to the dullest championship win of all time

Choose stepping forward in a four-man line with your right hands all raised in the air, then screaming abuse at the linesman when he has the audacity to keep his flag down

Choose picking Ray Parlour for over a decade

Choose having the quietest stadium in the world (“The Library”) as your home ground and then having the cheek to slag Manchester United about their fans

Choose having Nick Hornby as the mouthpiece of you supporters

Choose making umpteen lists of reasons why Arsenal are so great and then admitting you didn’t bother following them for a few years in the 1980s when they were getting ****e results

Choose Tony Adams coming out with his usual dreary “I am a recovering addict” spiel every time a premiership footballer blots his copy-book

Choose pretending that five or six years of playing in a watchable fashion makes up for inflicting over a century of ultra-defensive crap on English football watchers

Choose Igor Stepanovs, Nelson vivas, Kanu, Pascal Cygan, Davor Suker, Gilles Grimandi, David Grondin, Remi Garde, Kaba Diawara, Junichi Inamoto, Jeremie Aliadiere, Oleg Luzhny, Luis Boa Morte, Richard Wright, Stefan Malz, Christopher Wreh and all the other turkeys that nobody ever mentions when creaming themselves about how great Wenger is in the transfer market

Choose 58 red cards in seven years!!!!!!!

Choose lying to the media that you didn’t see a single on of the incidents that caused all these red cards

Choose being a bunch of smug, self-regarding **** who are well on their way to being even more unpopular that United in less than half the time

Choose Arsenal

KdjaCL

Choose deliberately disrespecting and belittling the other team by playing keep-uppy in the opposition half with a few minutes to go

That was class...LOL

kdjac

cournioni

Every single line above is true! But you forgot one thing...

Chose being a faaacking slaaag!

Nemici

bucks - just out of interest - is it a pure hatred of Arsenal or a fierce loyalty to another team that prompted the vicious but very amusing attack on the gooners ?

bucks73

I am a United fan but it wasnt because I hate Arsenal I posted this.

Its becasue when I read it I couldnt stop laughing and its all true.

Waylander

Choose 58 red cards in seven years!!!!!!!

F*ckin' hell, is that accurate? I knew they had a poor disciplinary record but wow! is all I have to say about that.

Bateman

Thats a forward that I got off an English board last week and sent out, I see everyone has it now. Quality, and its all true.:D

yop

That is class, every single word of it true, just waiting for the United version to hit the street

Originally posted by bucks73
Choose Arsenal

Choose overbearing arrogance

Choose to see yourselves as one of the giants of continental football when you’ve never even reached a European cup semi-final in your entire history!!!!!

Choose systematic dirty play and call it “competitiveness”

Choose the most staged, contrived, up-your-own-ar$es goal celebrations ever witnessed

Choose having the ugliest man on earth as your centre-back and the second ugliest as your manager

Choosing winning two championships in eleven seasons and acting like you’ve won seven in nine

Choose drawing 99% of your fan base from the ranks of the suburban English middle classes

Choose Patrick Vieira whinging about having to play too much football even though he gets six games rest every season due to suspensions

Choose paying £9 million for Francis Jeffers

Choose Dennis Bergkamp and his carefully timed elbows into the side of the head

Choose deliberately disrespecting and belittling the other team by playing keep-uppy in the opposition half with a few minutes to go

Choose forcing merchandise vendors out of business because they might deprive you of a couple of hundred quid on match days

Choose fancying yourselves as better than Real Madrid, then having Auxerre run rings around you at home

Choose Sol Campbell continually tripping over himself

Choose turning the sports section of the observer into a gunners fanzine

Choose getting away with light or delayed punishments at FA disciplinary hearing because you’ve had every possible string pulled by David Dein

Choose a persecution complex nonetheless and never shut up about it

Choose gamesmanship

Choose embaressing yourselves in a Renault “Va-Va-Voom” ad and then disgracing yourselves further at the World Cup Finals

Choose David Seaman and his public mid-life crisis

Choose watching an opponent miss a last-minute penalty against you, then running after him and jeering him

Choose George Graham grinding his way to the dullest championship win of all time

Choose stepping forward in a four-man line with your right hands all raised in the air, then screaming abuse at the linesman when he has the audacity to keep his flag down

Choose picking Ray Parlour for over a decade

Choose having the quietest stadium in the world (“The Library”) as your home ground and then having the cheek to slag Manchester United about their fans

Choose having Nick Hornby as the mouthpiece of you supporters

Choose making umpteen lists of reasons why Arsenal are so great and then admitting you didn’t bother following them for a few years in the 1980s when they were getting ****e results

Choose Tony Adams coming out with his usual dreary “I am a recovering addict” spiel every time a premiership footballer blots his copy-book

Choose pretending that five or six years of playing in a watchable fashion makes up for inflicting over a century of ultra-defensive crap on English football watchers

Choose Igor Stepanovs, Nelson vivas, Kanu, Pascal Cygan, Davor Suker, Gilles Grimandi, David Grondin, Remi Garde, Kaba Diawara, Junichi Inamoto, Jeremie Aliadiere, Oleg Luzhny, Luis Boa Morte, Richard Wright, Stefan Malz, Christopher Wreh and all the other turkeys that nobody ever mentions when creaming themselves about how great Wenger is in the transfer market

Choose 58 red cards in seven years!!!!!!!

Choose lying to the media that you didn’t see a single on of the incidents that caused all these red cards

Choose being a bunch of smug, self-regarding **** who are well on their way to being even more unpopular that United in less than half the time

Choose Arsenal

Some w*nker posted this on clarehurlers.com the other day. some day we'l come face to face in the street and he can choose to fu*cking leg it in the opposite direction. heres my version

Midlife crisis?? Choose Laurent Blanc!!

choose to put up with bandwagon mechandise united supporters brag about their six-one win over us only to concede the title in their back garden the year after......or

choose making out to be shot in the penalty area and then having every one going on about the great goal-getter you are as well as having to look like Mr ED or Red Rum.

or... choose to be a spoilt b*stard in Saipan at the greatest tournament in the world and have your purpled nosed manager publicly admit he didnt want him to play in it anyway

choose having a barney with the best midfielder at the club and then kick or perhaps throw a boot into his face.

choose slagging liverpool and then losing to them in a worthless cup final.

choose having a documentry done about your eccentric tantrums and wild rages.

choose telling a prospective youth talent he is the ugliest son of a bitch ever kicked a ball and have giggs spill the beans on you.

choose tapping your watch at the ref to either blow up when your winning 1-0 or add 5 mins on when you need a vital goal.

choose juan seba veron at a cool 28 million... down the drain.

choose selling players at the first sign of disagreement.

choose rio and daaaavidddd forgetting they are footballers not male models.

choose lee sharpe doing a stupid dance at the corner flag after scoring then been shipped out to be washed up along with the paul parkers and clayton blackmores of this world.

choose that a*shole cantona who rubber stamped every stupid thing he did and sold it as his trademark.

choose paying 7million for a lad(andy cole) who needs 20 chances to knock it in to the net.

choose paying 12 and a half for another lad who could only knock it into jordan.

choose jaap stam approriately translated "tree trunk"

choose having a referee for a father (durkin and scholes)

choose a goal keeper called the clown prince

choose mikael silvestre whos a pile of dogsh*t

choose having television stations itv and rte hiring two prospective propaganda merchants (tyldsley and hamilton) respectively to blatently go on and on and on about how fu*king wonderful man utd are even though they are NOT!

choose to walk about like cock of the fu*king walk

choose man u!!!!!

Pepe LeFrits

Originally posted by tipp_Gunner
Some w*nker posted this on clarehurlers.com the other day. some day we'l come face to face in the street and he can choose to fu*cking leg it in the opposite direction. heres my version

Midlife crisis?? Choose Laurent Blanc!!

choose to put up with bandwagon mechandise united supporters brag about their six-one win over us only to concede the title in their back garden the year after......or

choose making out to be shot in the penalty area and then having every one going on about the great goal-getter you are as well as having to look like Mr ED or Red Rum.

or... choose to be a spoilt b*stard in Saipan at the greatest tournament in the world and have your purpled nosed manager publicly admit he didnt want him to play in it anyway

choose having a barney with the best midfielder at the club and then kick or perhaps throw a boot into his face.

choose slagging liverpool and then losing to them in a worthless cup final.

choose having a documentry done about your eccentric tantrums and wild rages.

choose telling a prospective youth talent he is the ugliest son of a bitch ever kicked a ball and have giggs spill the beans on you.

choose tapping your watch at the ref to either blow up when your winning 1-0 or add 5 mins on when you need a vital goal.

choose juan seba veron at a cool 28 million... down the drain.

choose selling players at the first sign of disagreement.

choose rio and daaaavidddd forgetting they are footballers not male models.

choose lee sharpe doing a stupid dance at the corner flag after scoring then been shipped out to be washed up along with the paul parkers and clayton blackmores of this world.

choose that a*shole cantona who rubber stamped every stupid thing he did and sold it as his trademark.

choose paying 7million for a lad(andy cole) who needs 20 chances to knock it in to the net.

choose paying 12 and a half for another lad who could only knock it into jordan.

choose jaap stam approriately translated "tree trunk"

choose having a referee for a father (durkin and scholes)

choose a goal keeper called the clown prince

choose mikael silvestre whos a pile of dogsh*t

choose having television stations itv and rte hiring two prospective propaganda merchants (tyldsley and hamilton) respectively to blatently go on and on and on about how fu*king wonderful man utd are even though they are NOT!

choose to walk about like cock of the fu*king walk

choose man u!!!!!

Choose another club to support tipp_Gunner you spa.

So cute to see the fans of lesser teams ganging up on the Gooners

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by bucks73
Choose having the ugliest man on earth as your centre-back and the second ugliest as your manager

has the author of this rant ever heard of Luke Chadwick

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by tipp_Gunner
choose having television stations itv and rte hiring two prospective propaganda merchants (tyldsley and hamilton) respectively to blatently go on and on and on about how fu*king wonderful man utd are even though they are NOT!

to be fair George Hamilton is an Arsenal supporter

cournioni

Originally posted by Mossy Monk
has the author of this rant ever heard of Luke Chadwick

It's a pity he's playing for Derby now isn't it? Now your comments towards him will not affect Manchester United.

cournioni

Originally posted by tipp_Gunner
choose having a referee for a father (durkin and scholes)

That is possibly the worst rant I've ever seen in my life!

Robbo

The Arsenal one is (for the most part) reasonably well observed (cf. Ray Parlour, Nick Hornby, Tony Adams). The United one is just some irate kneejerk that could pretty much be applied to any team the author has a grievance with.

Wonder which will earn the most angle brackets when it's forwarded ad infinitum amongst its target audience?

Jesus H Christ

quality stuff on the arsenal one.

funny cos it's true

s8n

tipp_gunner....hahahahahhaha....what a spa u are

yop

Tipp - was waiting for it to happen but in all honesty all you did was try to copy the arse one and badly at that.

I would say that only 20% of the statements are true, the rest of them are in comparison to the arse ones, pale.

Now go back to the rest of the arse fan base in Tipp (about 2) and when ye are off the the GAA matches with yer hang sandwiches and bottle of tae come up with some original quotes.

Choose arse, not

gandalf

Ah well you know Arsenal have arrived when the bitter United fans post up something like this. Its fairly pathetic in the way you could replace Arsenal with Manchester United in every line of that bar one or two and that would be true.

Grow up please. Discuss football, slag each other off mildly but I do not see what constructive use crap like this has in discussing football.

Thread closed.

Gandalf.