Some Lunchtime Jokes

Jak

Enjoy or not ..

Stubborn Stains
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A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned.
The man who is working there doesn't have the best of
hearing and he says, "Come again?"
The blonde blushes slightly and replies with a giggling, "Oh, no it's just
mustard this time."

The New Farmer
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A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up
farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells
the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens."
The co-op man complies.

A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens."
The co-op man complies.

Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby
chickens."
"Wow!" the co-op man replies. "You must really be doing well!"

"Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or
too far apart!"

Trick Question
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Tom had proposed to young Maureen and was being interviewed by his
prospective father-in-law. "Do you think you are earning enough to support
a family?" the older man asked the suitor.

"Yes, sir", replied Tom, "I'm sure I am."

"Think carefully now," said Maureen's father warningly. "There are twelve
of us."

The Younger Brother
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It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their
wedding night with the young man's parents.

In the morning the mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast, went to
the bottom of the stairs and called for them to come down for breakfast.
After a long wait the family ate without the newlyweds.
The mother said "I wonder why they never came down to eat."

The groom's young brother said "Mommy, I think..."

"Oh shut up I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not
wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the younger
brother.

At lunch time the mother again prepared a wonderful meal and again called
the young couple to eat. After another long wait the family proceeded to
eat, and after the meal was completed the mother once again said, "I
wonder why they never came down to eat?" Once again the younger brother
started to speak, but was interrupted by the mother.

At dinner time once again the mother cooked a very elaborate meal, had the
table set perfectly and called the newlyweds to join the family for
dinner. After another long wait the mother once again questioned why they
had not come downstairs all day.

The young lad once again said "Mommy I think..."

"Well what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather irritated.

"I think that when my big brother came down to get the vaseline last
night, he got my model plane glue instead."

The Fairy
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A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th
birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because
they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them
one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and
boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly,
"Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He was 90.

Two Old Ladies
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Two old ladies sitting on the porch at the old folks home. One turned to
the other and asked, "Martha, you were married a long time,
did you and your husband have mutual orgasm?"

The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute and said, "No, I
think we had State Farm."


Cheers,

JAK.

Lump

I like the fairy one, nice well done

John

bubbles

Nice one, made me smile !!

the celtic tiger

I liked the one with the chickens!

tct