Johnny Cannot Tell a Lie

The Reaper

Johnny Cannot Tell a Lie

One time, back in the day, a boy named Johnny was walking to school with his girlfriend. He was trying to impress her, so he said, "I bet you I can push my father's Shed into the river."
She didn't agree with him, so he proved her wrong. Impressed, she walked the rest of the way to school hand in hand with Johnny. That day at school, they studied the story about George Washington and the cherry tree. The moral that they learned was "never tell a lie."

After school, Johnny went home. When he walked in the door, his dad met him. He said, "Son, did you push my shed into the river?"

Johnny said, "Dad, I want to be like George Washington and never lie, yes, I did."

And his dad beat him from one end of the house to the other.

After Johnny was finished sobbing, he asked, "Dad, why did you whoop me? I didn't lie. George Washington cut down the cherry tree and didn't lie about it, and he didn't get a whooping."

Johnny's dad looked at him and said, "Son, I bet George Washington's dad wasn't sitting in that cherry tree when he cut it down, was he?"

hells angels

I think i heard that one be4 somewhere punk...but funny none the less

The Reaper

Little Johnny's Time of the Month

Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings a box of tampons to the register.
The cashier looks at the boy and says, "Hi. Are these for your mom?"

Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "Umm, no."

The cashier says, "Oh. Then they're for your sister?"

Little Johnny says, "uh-unh."

The cashier, now a bit curious, says, "Oh. Then they must be for your granny!"

Little Johnny says, "Nope."

The cashier is now really confused. Finally she asks, "Well, what are you going to do with them?"

Little Johnny says, "Well, I'm not sure yet. But on TV, they said if I buy these I can go fishing and swimming and horseback riding!"

hells angels

good but not great your slipping there punk

The Reaper

Little Johnny's Halloween

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"
"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No, said Johnny, but he minded his own freakin' business

The Reaper

Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school, Johnny pulled his pants down in front of his classmates.
''What's that?'' asked Jenny.

''Well,'' said Johnny, ''if it was about 3 inches smaller, it would be the perfect penis.'''

hells angels

lol good one i take it all back...that was funny

The Reaper

Originally posted by hells angels
lol good one i take it all back...that was funny

Aye the perfect penis is a good one!!!!!!!!!