Stella awards-copo like!

poontang

THE STELLA AWARDS 2002

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella
awards.

The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who
spilled coffee on herself and succesfully sued Macdonald's . That
case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful
lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit
implicating Macdonald's, the teens who allege that eating at
Macdonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award
voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without
question.

5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict,considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied).
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr
Truman aparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of
the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he
had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to
get the garage door to go up since the auromatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family were on vacation and Mr Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the houseowner's insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anquish. The Jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000

4th place.
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbours
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owners fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt felt he might have
been a little provoked at the time as Mr Williams who had climbed over
the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.
A Philadelphia restaraunt was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place.
Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in
a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
Ms.Walton, was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.
This year's runaway winner was Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City Oklahoma.
Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from a football game,having driven onto the reeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there was any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

Pugsley

Heard that exact collection before, but I think that 2nd place doesnt deserve it, the terrance dickinson one in 5th was far better.

de5p0i1er

Those ppl should be shot not rewarded for there stupidity, its amazing what ppl will try to get away with nowdays.

Hobbes

The only stella award should go to the people who actually believed any of that.

http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html

Btw, the McDonalds case was not trivial. McDonalds was proven to shown that they sold thier coffee at a temperture well beyond the level that humans could drink and knew it would cause serious burns (they cited that people didn't drink it until they got to work, so it would of cooled down by then). I find it funny everytime people bring this up as trivial as it normally means they never read the facts of the case.

http://www.stellaawards.com/stella.html

EdBanger

Hobbes why do you have to spoil a good laugh at the expense of Amercain's? come on they are funny and close enought to the truth to be cringe worthey.

Spiffing

Yeah, but it's made up

hells angels

So their still very funny i mean you dont have to ruin it for the rest of us!!!:(

Spiffing

The point is that they are so stupid, yet they exist!

If they don't, it's pointless.

MrNuked

Why do people think it's clever to laugh at Americans anyway?
Is it a crap form of rebellion against the way a sector of the media glorifies American culture?
Laugh at the people trying to be something they're not instead!
Or is it just plain ignorant bigotry?
Seen loads of remarks like this on this site. They bug the **** out of me. You should be ashamed of yourselves.