Axis Of Evil

Mr E

Axes of Evil
by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil",
Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of
the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as
having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as
evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . best at being evil . .we're
the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of
Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained
Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's tradition.
In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis.
So, you can only have three, and a secret hand shake. Ours is wickedly
cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious
nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had
formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with
Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much
Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be
called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly
Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia
formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly
Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand
and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear
Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to
do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose
Names End in Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false
application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied
the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any
Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked
them.

[Iramus]

great stuff from mr cleese as usual. LOL

Tyrrial

absolute brilliance!

de5p0i1er

John Cleese never runs out of ideas. LOL

hallelujajordan

:ninja: :ninja: :ninja: Fantastic . . .

Pugsley

rofl, gwan cleese