Sad or depressed???

LegacyUser

Hey guys,
i'm kinda confused here

See i go through these "downer" phases alot.. well recently i kinda stopped and didnt have one in a while but now im having problems with my girlfriend and im repeating the LC and not gonna get my course and cant study yadda yadda yadda,,, and its got me down again..

When it happens it lasts for ages.. I wont tell anyone whats wrong (well theres only 2 or 3 people would ask, not really got a great relationship with family.) but i wont talk about it, i cant stop listening to depressing music.. (stuff id listen to when happy too, but i dont vary it) like love songs and damien rice etc.. I know i shouldnt be listening to this music as it probably doesnt help but i feel it does at the time & happy music would sicken me, i cant hold a proper conversation with someone..

I got really drunk one time and took some really strong fuked up pills for some operation my mother had.. i got more drunk and the next day while still out of it i tried to slit my wrists only the knife was too blunt..
I would never try this again as i think suicide is really selfish and i dont wanna hurt anyone i love.
But it doesnt mean i dont wish id "accidentally" go flying though a windscreen and die sometimes.. this can't be right..

Ive read some of the other depression posts on this board to try and find out some stuff and ive learned alot of people get down sometimes..
But am i depressed or just sad..?

Drink helps me alot.. i dont get drunk during the day generally though, i'll just go out alot and get really drunk and have a laugh.. also smoking hash calms me down...
I'm a real loud happy out-going person in general.. id be the kinda guy that no1 would think i'm like this.. but i am..

i told a friend i tried to slit my wrists and he said go to doctor or something..
Would a doctor help? Actually i doubt i'd ever go to one. im fairly shy when i'm on my own around strangers. Id also feel different about myself like if i go to a doctor i'm labeled as depressed..

I dont really know what i'm saying here do I?

Ive always been like this i think, when i was small i would sometimes cry myself to sleep not knowing why.. thats stopped now but.. i get really upset over little things, just like if my g/friend and i were fighting id would really get me down.. and its over nothing and she's liek "hey wots up dont let it get to you!"
Can anyone tell me whats wrong with me?
thanks..

Kell

Originally posted by Rolo
Can anyone tell me whats wrong with me?
thanks..

Not professionally no. But.......

I think from time to time everyone goes through stages of depression, sadness or whatever for a variety of different reasons and normally when you're down it is difficult to see a way out of your predicament. Getting píssed and stoned all the time wont help your problem, trust me. I went through a stage of reaching for the whiskey bottle every night to sleep, until I thought "hang on. I cant actually sleep without alchohal, this is bad" and I stopped. You really have to condition yourself and force yourself to do things that take your mind off being depressed. Now when I get depressed, I go and see some mates and talk shíte for the night, or go and do one of my many past times that I can enjoy on my own.

Another pointer for you, which was a real breakthrough for me and lots of people I know that have attended professional counselling, is to recognise the pattern that winds you up being depressed. You will normally find that something in your life will trigger the descent into depression and once you figure out what these triggers are you can side step them and avoid winding up depressed. It sounds like a daft idea, but once you learn to recognise the thing that triggers the depression all of a sudden something will happen and you go "hang on. I recognise this. Now, do I choose to be depressed or do I choose not to be?".

Hope it has been of some help.

K-

PS: Taking your own life is not worth it. Ever. I am not going to lecture you with "you selfish bastard" statements and the like, I just think it is such a crying shame that someone could consider it when you have a whole rich tapestry of life and experience ahead of you.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks kell, so u said sometimes u had to reach for the whiskey... would u call that depression or were u just sad and you react differently to other people? I know in the long run it wont help but trust me at the time it does..
See thats my thing that gets my mind off it.. i have to be around close friends having a laugh to get my mind off it.. ie. toking... past-times dont help because i'm on my own.. ie. art, music etc..

[qoute]Another pointer for you, which was a real breakthrough for me and lots of people I know that have attended professional counselling, is to recognise the pattern that winds you up being depressed. You will normally find that something in your life will trigger the descent into depression and once you figure out what these triggers are you can side step them and avoid winding up depressed. It sounds like a daft idea, but once you learn to recognise the thing that triggers the depression all of a sudden something will happen and you go "hang on. I recognise this. Now, do I choose to be depressed or do I choose not to be?".[/qoute]

Doesnt seem like a daft idea.. but i actually dont know what causes it.. and whatever triggers it ...only triggers it... if you know what i mean, its not the cause..

So am i just sad alot do you think?
Its not like its ruining my life or anything.. but i cant study because of it.. hmm i dunno..

LegacyUser

Most forms of depression have no cause other than chemical imbalance in the brain. You probably need to see your GP and get prescribed some anti-depressants. Don't drink alchohol as alchohol is a depressant drug and will make the symptoms worse even if it seems to provide temporary relief.

Trebor

i get that way some time's, can't study because i'm sad.
usually it's from analyising why i am studing this, where is this going to get me what else will i need to get a good job, etc. which just makes the entire thing seem more daunting.
I don't drink myself, never liked it, but from what i've seen as a barman drink only hightens emotions and never get's rid of them you just forget when you sober up. the thing i've discoved for myself is that it is ok to be depressed as long as it's not constant. but a good thing to get your mind off it is going to the gym you get too tired and worn out to think about anything and your making yourself healther which always leads to a good fealing, not to mention the adrenalin from the exersize whcih is a real uplifter.

hope this helps

Kell

Originally posted by Rolo
so u said sometimes u had to reach for the whiskey... would u call that depression or were u just sad and you react differently to other people?


Doesnt seem like a daft idea.. but i actually dont know what causes it.. and whatever triggers it ...only triggers it... if you know what i mean, its not the cause..

So am i just sad alot do you think?

I was drinking through work stress more so than anything else.

I dont know whether you are sad a lot as you havent given an indication of what it is that is causing you to be in the state you are in. At least you are in a position to know what causes it as opposed to the poor buggers who are depressed and dont know why. To corret helpful? chemical imbalances usually result in depression without cause rather than depression as a reaction to something.

As you know the cause of your problems, is there a way you can in some way walk away from them and take a breather? I know in my case, I knew all the causes but I wasn't really aware of the exact effect they were having on me i.e. my depression was a symptom of the problem and the problem was something else entireley.

Sorry, slightly OT, but try as best you can to distance yourself from whatever it is that triggers you being down. If you want you can PM me if the problem is too private for public consumption.

K-

Kell

Sorry. I just spotted an error in my last reply. I thought you said that you knew what the cause was not the trigger, whereas you know the triggers not the cause. Sorry. Beginning to sound more like what was up with me a few years back.

The point still stands that if you can recognise the trigger then it does put you in a position of choice as to whether or not the trigger will effect you negatively.

K-

Silent Grape

hi there Rolo, i suffer from deppression and its a pain in the bum,. i also attempted suicide and still think about it all the time, i have a lot of family problems, ontop of my own screwed up head.

but i found a counsellor and the world is not so terrible anymore. it sounds to me like u could do with a non judgemental chat. your GP can help get u a counsellor, but i wouldnt advise askig for anti D's until/if u are diagnosed with depression and the doctor suggests it.

i know i dont know much about ur situation, but id say a good chat and life sorting out is in order, and forget the labelling thing! who cares! my condition wasnt caused by a chemical imbalance, i dont take pills, i just had a few problems dealing with my life and the feelings that accompany it.

i would strongly suggest u to ring the Samaritans if u cant face ur GP and theyll help u out aswell.

theres nothing to be ashamed of in feeling suicidal. the only person doing any of the labelling is probably yourself.

pm if u want to chat or get some numbers or anything

mia x

Typedef

Not meaning to lump you into category (x).

Men around the 18-25 mark have the highest incidence of suicide in just about 'every' country in the world.

Worth noting when you feel down, in that most men you're age feel that way for the given age range, more then most sections of society.

It always helps to step back and look at one's situation in terms of societal paradigms like that 'I think'.

Wolf

I suffer from very very strong but brief bouts of depression as well.

Sound very simple but one of the things that has always helped me is to know that I wont always feel this way. No matter how long it lasts I know that if I try hard and keep my head down Ill come through it eventually.

I know this sounds simple and it is but it has help me through some pretty awfull times.

Hope you find happyness sooner rather than later. GL

Originally posted by [-UK-]Wolf
Sound very simple but one of the things that has always helped me is to know that I wont always feel this way. No matter how long it lasts I know that if I try hard and keep my head down Ill come through it eventually.

Thats it exactly.
Methinks the chemicals in yer body, just go a little too crazy sometimes.
For when you are happy and feeling great,it's worth remembering then that at some point , for a short time or for some reason you were down, and knowing which you prefer.
I convinced myself a long time ago that if I'm happy most of the time, ( which I am thankfully) then it's not logical to be down, it's like I prefer to stay happy.
the same applies to worrying really.
I mean,If I jump off a high wall and hurt my self real bad, I'll be sore for ages.
If I'm worrying about something, I'm wasting time on a feeling thats not good so I don't do it.
Why should anybody???
If worry was in a bottle on a shelf down in Tesco, would you buy it?? nope so throw it away and be happy folks, trust me it's good:D
mm

WhiteWashMan

its called being a teenager and being melodramatic.

you will get over it, but until then, i suggest you listen to lots of musicians who are mad at their dads, wear clothes your parents dont like, write poetry that you think is meaning, and look at life like you are about to die.

and when you come round to being a useful human being on this earth, thank god that its all over and laugh at the other sad bástards out there.

Silent Grape

i really hope u were taking the piss White Wash Man,

u have no right to be so judgemental when u dont know the boy, his situation or anything about how he feels.

if u have nothing constructive or helpful to say, please stop making yourself feel better by putting down this guy, which im sure he doesnt need right now.

Annasopra

See i go through these "downer" phases alot

Everyone has them you're not alone

im repeating the LC and not gonna get my course and cant study

I'm not trying to preach here but stop being negative!

Drink helps me alot..

Again I'm not trying to preach here but drink is not the answer

I'm a real loud happy out-going person in general.. id be the kinda guy that no1 would think i'm like this.. but i am..

I know lots of people that are like that

i told a friend i tried to slit my wrists and he said go to doctor or something..Would a doctor help? Actually i doubt i'd ever go to one. im fairly shy when i'm on my own around strangers. Id also feel different about myself like if i go to a doctor i'm labeled as depressed..

Yes a doctor would help,
I'm going to repeat a previous poster here:

theres nothing to be ashamed of in feeling suicidal. the only person doing any of the labelling is probably yourself.

Again this poster suggested if you cant go to a doctor call the Samaritans, this is a good idea

Hope I've helped in some way

McGinty

Hi Rolo

You could be both sad and depressed. I can depression from time to time, like at the moment. It passes, but if you can, I would recommend seeing your GP.

Also strangely enough I was reading an article in Ireland on Sunday about radio DJ Gareth O'Callaghan, talking of his depression, his story sounded similar to yours in some aspects. LIke he would go on air (radio) sound all happy and breezy, come home, go to sleep in the afternoon, wake up and feel so depressed, he thought of dying all the time, and even though he has a wife, two kids, great job, etc. He felt **** all the time, and he was depressed, he found the cause of his depression and dealt with it.

Drink may delay the inevitable feelings of sadness, same with hash, but it won't make it go away, you will just become dependant on drink and drugs, which will cause more problems in the future.

For me when I am depressed, the gym helps, even though I have to force myself to go, when I am there it helps. Plus writing, I write loads of stuff, stupid stuff and then burn it, but helps clear my head.

Face the problems, tackle them and then move on. And if your sad and want to cry that's okay, just cry, but if you can try not to suppress your feelings. I spent nearly twenty years suppressing all my stuff, and I can tell you it got me nowhere. A failed marriage, upheaval, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Good luck

DeVore

Alcohol is a depressant which gives you a temporary high but makes things worse within 24 hours.... which is why you often feel the need to go back out and drink again.

Hash can also lead to depression I've found. You should cut it out and get straight. You might also think about doing some physical exercise which will give you energy and you wont feel so "jesus I cant deal with all this" so much.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about


DeV.

MrNuked

spending lots of time on computers makes you feel lonely and depressed too...
You're going to die anyway. Oddly looking at life as a pointless somewhat random slide towards death might help.
Anyway if you are genuinely suicidal you genuinely don't give a **** anymore which makes all sorts of things easier and sort of does away with anxiety.
Become a stunt man or something. Take risks. Face danger fearlessly. Stop caring about bull****. If you want to die then you should be prepared to be utterly wreckless.
Think I'm talking **** but there's a good point buried here somewhere.
The other side of this sort of attitude is that you may find yourself doing things like lying on the ground encouraging people to kick you in the head, and then walking to hospital with a sore head.
Definitely shouldn't drink if you're down. Especially alone. Especially spirits. Especially whiskey.
Hash is a sensitizing drug so if you're sad all it does it makes you feel that more acutely. And possibly make you paranoid and confused too.

fisty

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
its called being a teenager and being melodramatic.

you will get over it, but until then, i suggest you listen to lots of musicians who are mad at their dads, wear clothes your parents dont like, write poetry that you think is meaning, and look at life like you are about to die.

and when you come round to being a useful human being on this earth, thank god that its all over and laugh at the other sad bástards out there.

you're some bollocks.