Murphy's Laws for sex:

annabegins

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

"This won't hurt, I promise."

$ynergy

fun of course, but starting to wonder is it worth the hassle :-/

annabegins

Of course It's worth the hassle.

It's like buying shoes.
You look around for a pair of shoes in maybe 4/5 shops.
End up back at the first shop and buy a pair you're quite happy with.
Get bored of these and revert back to the ones you're most comfortable with.
But still keep an eye on the shops for another pair.
Though isn't it just nasty when you get a pair of great looking shoes and they're too big/small or just very uncomfortable?

DMT

This isn't a personal issue and should be moved to After Hours.

TacT

or the humour board, take your pick :ninja:

annabegins

Sadly some people's boxers just stick up their hole so much that they've lost all sense of humour.....oh go get laid!

Gordon

Your last condom is always a "fumblepop". (one that you keep dropping on the sheets and getting it inside out)

Moved from PI.

annabegins

A lot better Gordon...

Murphy's Love Laws


1. All the good ones are taken.
2. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
3. The nicer someone is, the farther away she/he is from you.
4. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
5. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
6. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
7. The best things in the world are free and worth every penny of it.
8. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
9. Nice guys/girls finish last.
10. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
11. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

monument

Originally posted by annabegins
Sex takes up the least amount of time...

What, sorry? I’m really confused by this statement.

lordsippa

... I don't get it.

super_canard

yeah.. i agree with the availability one... as soon as ur interested... they find somebody else than one is true.. the rest...well... not all the time :-D

woosaysdan

Originally posted by annabegins
Of course It's worth the hassle.

It's like buying shoes.
You look around for a pair of shoes in maybe 4/5 shops.
End up back at the first shop and buy a pair you're quite happy with.
Get bored of these and revert back to the ones you're most comfortable with.
But still keep an eye on the shops for another pair.
Though isn't it just nasty when you get a pair of great looking shoes and they're too big/small or just very uncomfortable?

i like your views on this!!!

hells angels

I need sex soon....

super_canard

How to make a woman happy...


...all you have to do is to be;

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father figure
6. a teacher
7. an educator
8. a cook
9. a gardener
10. a carpenter
11. a driver
12. an engineer
13. a mechanic
14. an interior decorator
15. a stylist
16. a sex therapist
17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician
18. a psychologist
19. a psychiatrist
20. a therapist
21. a good father
22. a gentleman
23. well organized
24. tidy
25. very clean
26. athletic
27. affectionate
28. affable
29. attentive
30. ambitious
31. amenable
32. articulate
33. bold
34. brave
35. creative
36. courageous
37. complimentary
38. capable
39. decisive
40. intelligent
41. imaginative
42. interesting
43. prudent
44. patient
45. polite
46. passionate
47. respectful
48. sweet
49. strong
50. skilful
51. supportive
52. sympathetic
53. tolerant
54. understanding
55. someone who loves shopping
56. someone who doesn't make problems
57. someone who never looks at other women
58. very rich

AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:
59. are neither jealous nor disinterested
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them than
with her.
61. give her her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes

ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation

However, even if you observe the above instructions perfectly,you are not
100% guaranteed that she will be happy, as she could one day feel overcome
with the suffocating perfection of her life with you and run off with the
first wild b*stard-bohemian-drunk-bon viveur she meets...




HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Let him play with your t!ts

Monty - the one and only

DMT's flaming has been removed...


thread moved to humour.

super_canard

what's DMT?

Capt'n Midnight

11. A good deed never goes unpunished.

monument

Originally posted by super_canard
what's DMT?

A persons nick name. He has one or two post above ^^^

Tyrrial

very funny stuff

Hells_Fury

Originally posted by super_canard
How to make a woman happy...

Blah
Blah
Blah

ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
62. Not forget
* menstruation


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Let him play with your t!ts

#62 you should never forget for you OWN safety ( just thought I would point that out in case you were wondering WHY )

And I always thought you were suppose to keep beer in the fridge too , plus knowing how to open it quickly and efficiently makes a HUGE impression .........

Regardless no woman will ever find the perfect man ..... because he already HAS a boyfriend

DMT

thread moved to humour.

heheh, the thread that nobody wants...
:ninja:

super_canard

now now... ain't true.. I'm perfect.. and single :-D