family guy

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

it's

peter: a boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything!, it could even be a boat, you know how much we've always wanted one of those!

Dar

bah damn u and ure vile nit-picking - you've impeded my work since the day i was born :P

alir123

When Chris was in the scouts



Peter : Three days......thats tomorrow !

Da_cOmRaDe_MiKe

lois and peter have to go to some dance or meeting. anyway
lois is standing in the hall wearing a nice blue or green dress and talking to the kids when peter walks down the stairs wearing the exact same dress.
there is a short pause then pater says
:well one of us is gonn have to change.
slight pause again. and peter says with a very sarcasitic tone:
:i guess it will have to be me.


i nearly wet my self at that 1.

i luv all the episodes with william shatner. the way he jumps from position to position. tis fukn klass!

Mossy Monk

sclirosis the wonder dog

black to the future was class

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

actually peter says

*sigh*.. unzip me.

Andor

Chris: oh my god....SOMEONE JUST PEE'D MY PANTS!!

Sposs

Peter; I once bought a car off a used car salesman then bam ten years later thrush!

==============================================


Lois: I can't believe you squandered that money! I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm married to a child!

Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert.

Kold

Left Right Left Right

.Fade.

Meg and Peter are sittin on a park bench and meg does one of her bird calls, a min later big bird walks along...
"what? you called? do you know how hard it is to get a subway across town at this time? i dont fly you know...."
silence, then big bird spits at them "bitch..." and walks off.

Genius i tells ya.
Peter : " why dont you have a beer, thatll go right through you"
Stewie: " ohh yes, and while were at it why dont we spark up a dubey and watch some porn....."
Peter : "ok...."

"waheyy, built up an immunity"

nesthead

"MMHHNNMMMGG.... TONY ROBBINS HUNGRY....."

snickerpuss

my favourite one...Peter
.
hello china?
i think i have something you want..
what do i want?
Thats right.....all the tea...
.
hehee
i wrote that badly.

c0rk3r

(In mayor wests office at the sink)
Mayor west : look ...... they keep stealing my water
Meg : ehhh , its just going down the drain


Meg : hi i'd like an interview Mr West.
Mayor West : ahh your from the newspaper , well........... how can you interview a dead man ! ( jumps out the window )


(perter hungover)
Peter: christ i havent felt this bad since that time in the museum when i was a kid ( flashback to perter as a kid in the museum)
Young Peter : why did the dinosaurs die ?
Guide : because you touch tourself at night !

didnt get them 100% but you get the jist of it

Detonated Sauce

"Is this really the blood of Jesus Christ?"
"Yes"
"Holy crap the guy must have been stoned 24/7"

hedgetrimmer

I really like Brian

"Hey Bartender, whose leg to you have to hump around here to get a dry Martini"

and

"Peter, if you're going to pull a party out of your a77, you may want to stand up"

Big Chief

one quote that ive actually used myself not that long ago (trying to remember it word for word..) -

Lois : look at you peter, your drunk again.

Peter : Im not drunk, im just exhausted as ive sat up all night drinking

Zer0^

tbh stu is the best trying 2 take over the world . is this promgram that old ?

loismustdie

Originally posted by Tusky
1:Do you want some gum ?
2:sure
1:haha that was joke gum - nwo your addicted to heroine !
2: hahaha.....soooo cold

it was mentioned b4 but thats it in full

and lois stop the ****ing spam jesus...

what spam? from some1 who's dublicatin posts!!

hussey

3 rd Series Out on monday

some prices :

cd wow (ie) 28.95

CD Wow (Hong Kong) 199.95 HKD = 22.82euro .. they deliver to ireland .. I always go for these

play.com 17.99stg = 25.55euro

Golden Discs = 45euro approx

Stark

already pre-ordered. ooh cdwow hong kong -very cheap, cancelling my blackstar order now.

Stark

Stewie after being taken in by a multi-ethnic foster family: "Dear God, I've been adopted by a Benetton ad!!"

Kone

Young Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Tour Guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Stark

Stewie on finding juicy dirt on Brian : "Oh this is so good, it just has to be fattening".

Lois: "and look here's a card from Stewie"
Stewie: "what? I don't remember writing a card. Hold on a minute, did you just forge my name? And is that backwards S supposed to be cute? Oh I'm going to crap double for you tonight!"

loismustdie

stewie: Damn you icecream, come to my mouth

(keep havin family guy flashbacks)

Sarky

It's probably been said several times already, but:

Chicken....Gave me a bad coupon....

Jim

Doctor : Well Ruolph we finally figuered out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph : OH! Is it pixie dust, or unicorn tails?

Doctor : No, its a tumour.

Rudolph : Oh, like a magic tumour?

Doctor : No, a milegnet tumour, the base of which is lodged deep inside your brain..................

Rudolph : Like a wonderful, magical....

Doctor : ..... your going to die
_________________________________

Stewie : I smell a dirty dyper......oh god why does that turn me on.

Stark

Excellent scene on dvd which was cut from tv:

On tv we see Peter stuffing his crotch with what appears to be a melon.
What you don't see on tv is it turning out to be Stewie, Lois coming up to him saying "Peter, that's sick", and Peter saying "It's alright, he's outside the underwear".

The cut scenes from series 1&2 were mostly just cases where trademarks were being infringed etc.

ShevY

from one of the spoof progs at start, painting prog:

" ok, we're gonna use a fan brush for this, now I'm gonna take some hundred green, and i'm gonna put a happy little bush just about there....................and that'll just be our little secret........................(looks at cam).........and if you tell anyone that THAT bush is THERE!!! - I will come to your house and i will cut you!! "

class :ninja:

_sheep

.... and now its time for a blackie weather report (cut quickly to a large black lad)

ITS GOONA RAIN

(cut quickly back)

Raphael

Stewie: Hello Mother

Lois: Well hi there sweetie

Stewie: You know mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Your life, however is more like a box of ACTIVE GRENADES!! Now I offer you one last chance for deliverance. Return my mind control device... or be destroyed!

Lois: Aww, you just want your toy back. Well here you go honey

Stewie: Yes well, Victory is mine!

(Stewie runs off. After a short time you hear a distant explosion)

Stewie: AHHHHHHHHHHHH, Damnyouall!


Best family guy quote EVER!!!!!!!!

Download the soundbite for this quote!