how to finish with a guy....

Wolf

Originally posted by Beruthiel
lol
perhaps I should have also added

'be prepared'

I hope you have another job lined up

Ah dammit

Maybe ill just put gum on her chair...........

Nah too childish...... hmmmm

I know ill hack her account and put child porn on it and get her fired.

sorted

Pigman II

Just end it, quick and easy. You'll be doing both of you a favour. Also it doesn't really matter 'how' you do it, just that you do it.

You're making excuses as to why you want to end it (his appearance etc) but from your post I get the feeling that even if he sorted out everything thats wrong with him that you still wouldn't be happy with the relationship. So why don't you just get rid of that zero and find yourself a hero!

You sound like the kind of lady who'd enjoy a rich independent go-getter type boyfriend. One who'll pay your way through life and make it easy for you to achieve whatever it is you're looking for. World Travel? Swimming with dolphins? You don't specify :rolleyes:

So why not get cracking on your life plan and kick Mr. Dud to the kerb? In six months time you'll wonder why you even worried about how to formulise that nasty break-up of yours.

And whatever you do be sure to say 'Lets still be friends' after you break your news to the guy. Men love that part.

//

BTW, if you think I'm taking the piss then you'd probably be right. But my advice about ending it ASAP is sincere. I once went out with a less-than-attractive-female out of some kind of misguided sympathy for her and it was the worst decision of my life (one of anyway). Thought I might end up liking her for her 'personality' but that didn't last long. Wasted many months with her before
ending it ... and trust me the end was a relief for me.

So if you honestly feel embarrased to be with this guy then you're not doing him any favours by sticking with him even if you think you are. Who knows, this impending swift shock to the system might help him sort himself out and you might for once maka a positive contribution to his life?

^^ Man that last sentence was such a 'chick' way of rationalising doing something bad. I'm disgusted with myself.

lyonsy

I want to do so much whereas he would be happy just doin the same thing over and over i feel awful about this but i dont know how to break it to him that its over.Has anyone been in a simalar situation or have any advice they could give me?

Text Message: U R Dumped.

Q_Ball

U R Dumped? A mate of mine got "U R DMPD" the lazy who...

Anyway I have to say i agree with everyone. Just get it out in the open. I had to dump a girl i was going out with for a month cos i realised she was my rebound girl I hate fecking people over like that cos it only hurts us both.

So stop hurting yourself. If he is ever to find someone they will be better for him than you ever will. Simply cos you don't really want to be there. It'd bite ya in the bud and you'd end up hating yourself and him so just don't put yourself in the situation. Personnaly i get a vibe about people the first time i meet them. Your mistake was that it was one date too many.

So in summary, and to quote nike with my úber l337 quoting skill :ninja: :

Just do it

Evil Phil

Dump him, he's probably using you as a crutch for his drinking. And stop worring about him - his tears are just a way of manipulating you.

You could even get a friend to do it; I know that sounds harsh but these are not normal circumstances.

In the words of the great Homer "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

<additional>
If fact, he's only 22. In a few years time he'll probably have sorted himself out and this will be nothing more than an embarrasing memory he pretends he doesn't have.
</additional>

LegacyUser

''I once went out with a less-than-attractive-female out of some kind of misguided sympathy for her and it was the worst decision of my life (one of anyway). Thought I might end up liking her for her 'personality' but that didn't last long. ''

This is exactly how it is ...


the last thing i care about is money and beleive me im not into travellin! but just common interests apart from beer and vodka i mean im 22 hes 30 and i feel like a babysitter i dont think anyone should hve to feel like that:(

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Wolf

^^ Hmm that right change your problem for a whole new funkier and funner ones

thedrowner

yes i was in a very simialr situation before but like you said he's brinign you down and you don't need that. i did however actually care about the guy in question, and i was terrified of ending thigns with him because of stuff i wont go into right now. but i got to the point where if i didnt end it with him, i feared for my mental health. so i ended it. did us both a favour. if he sinks into a hole after you leave him, that's his choice and it had absolutely nothing to for with you, you just happened to be around at the time.

Typedef

Originally posted by confused
''I once went out with a less-than-attractive-female out of some kind of misguided sympathy for her and it was the worst decision of my life (one of anyway). Thought I might end up liking her for her 'personality' but that didn't last long. ''

This is exactly how it is ...

Hello.

You seem to be suffering from a severe case of emotional blackmail.

Would you like to
a. Stand up for yourself
b. Come and do my dishes....since hey baby... I'm feeling .... the need to have my dishes done..... you know.... if you were a decent person ... you'd do my dishes... you don't want to hurt me now do you... I mean come on.... if you don't live your life life for my benefit... then who's benefit you gonna live it for... your own?

selfish, selfish...

aside : when you're done doing the dishes... you can start in on hand washing my delicate clothing....

Silent Bob

Originally posted by Typedef
Dont listen to these tree hugging hippy types. Life is not an episode of Dawsons Creek.

"Oh Pacy, you're so cynical".

"Cynical"? And waste a perfect opportunity to use the word "disingenuous"!?!?

Admit it, you've never seen Dawson's Creek, have you

Typedef

seen what now?

/righteously indignant.

johnnynolegs

Actual quote from dawson creek:

"Im sick of your pseudo psyatic diatribe" -said when 15.........YEAH RIGHT

anyway just leave him and don't call for a while and let him get the hint simple

LegacyUser

thanks for all your advice i think im gonna have a chat with him and tell him its not working / fair on him/lets be friends see how that goes!

cheer's again

YoungNastyMan

Just tell him the alcohol is affecting his performance in bed.
That should calm down the drinking.

To be honest, he sounds kinda violent and out of control, be careful how you handle dumping him.

You could use my tactic, act like a complete ass, untill (about a week or so) they find you completely unbareable, and they end up dumping you

yossarin

Originally posted by YoungNastyMan You could use my tactic, act like a complete ass, untill (about a week or so) they find you completely unbareable, and they end up dumping you [/B]

I'm not sure that works for boys - he might be chuffed that she's acting more like him and like her even moe

Capt'n Midnight

I've probably misread the situation but it almost sounds like you could be on the receiving end of ..

Treat 'em Mean & Keep 'em Keen!
Fucck Buddies.......

Judging by his age and your discription of him it sounds like this could be his last chance of finding someone like you (young, tolerant, forgiving etc.) ... and he ain't excactly meeting you half way on the building a relationship theme.

If you kept going on there is also a chance he would start to resent you trying to control parts of his life even though he might like the attention at first. It's been only two months so far so even if he changed you'd have to stick around for months before you could be sure he had changed permenant and not just temporarily. Also if everyone says he is much better now - what is he normally like.. (and is there anything they are not telling you ?)

If it is face to face better to tell him on neutral ground - and make sure you get all your stuff and hand back his so there are no excuses to meet up -otherwise get the his mate to pick it up.

And that old "still be friends" routine - make it clear that you won't be visiting his place ever. Or meeting him anywhere or even going for a coffee unless other friends are there too.. Otherwise despite the fact that you've only known him two months he might still think he is a categorised as an old/trustedfriend - or think it is only a temporary rift.

Yeah that guilt thing is Irish.. but he has made lifestyle choices you don't like..

"Women spend twenty years trying to change a man, and then wonder why he isn't the man they married" - Elizabeth taylor

Again - if you can't do it face to face then you could get the mate to do it perhaps.. but don't go to his place - he'd have too much "power" there.

PS. you're not a twin by any chance

Caesar_Bojangle

I say go with Mercs suggestion, it's probably the fairest for a situation like this. Cleary he is emotionally messed up, so by sitting down and giving the whys, you'll f#ck up completely.

I'm known for my unorthodox ways of dumping my ex's, amongst my friends as i've never dumped a girl to her face. Its just too damn hard and to be brutally honest time consuming, as you have to go through all the emotional crap afterwards like phone calls out of the blue asking why.

Actually i dumped one girl face to face and thats what spawned my maverick ways of dumping.

sceptre

Completely off-topic, but I'm interested to hear some of Caesar's unorthodox ways of dumping people

("unorthodox" brings to mind dumping by fax, a special announcement at a football match, hiring a barber-shop quartet to sing "Baby you're dumped", unfurling a series of flags from Tower Bridge reading "go away you dumbass")

I'd really like to know (it might be funny if nothing else)

Nevyn

get him a pressie , for that moment when you intent to tell him.
Give him teh git something tought full that he will need when ur not htere to sort out stuff for him. Place in cute box with a big bow and when he asks what it is tell him it is a going away gift ,
and when he say What i am not going anywhere you reply Yes you are ur going out of my life , for good/ for now/ for as long as it takes for you to get ur act together.

Panda

try this,

http://www.breakupservice.com/

beware its american!

Ixidor

good luck finding a new pretty boy, most over 30 year olds are taken!... you might want to try people who have been resently divorced.

Caesar_Bojangle

Originally posted by sceptre
Completely off-topic, but I'm interested to hear some of Caesar's unorthodox ways of dumping people

("unorthodox" brings to mind dumping by fax, a special announcement at a football match, hiring a barber-shop quartet to sing "Baby you're dumped", unfurling a series of flags from Tower Bridge reading "go away you dumbass")

I'd really like to know (it might be funny if nothing else)

Where do i start, the following are a few of the less heartless methods i've used on otherwise selfish bitches.

Told a few of them i was gay to end the relationship quickly.
Made a pass at ones mother, the pass failed but it did the job.
Confided in her best friend that i was using her friend.
Told one that i might have got some other girl pregnant.
Told one i was moving away to england. I never moved, it was one of my most farfetched/innovative as it involved a load of lying on my behalf and the aid of my friends to covince her.
sent a text with just one word "dumped", very effective.

I have a load more which are like something off of seinfeld but are just incredibly cruel in retrospect.

Loco

tell us what happened!! that is if you are still alive ;p

donnie

use that magic line...

hey baby welcome to dumpsville...population you!!!