Unwanted pregnancy

LegacyUser

Im finding it hard to phrase what i want to say , so forgive me if i arse it up.

Basically my girlfriend is 6 days late and im petrified with fear. I know its silly worrying over something we arnt even sure about yet but she is usually like clockwork.

Im 24 and she is 22 but i still feel way too young and have so many plans , travel , night courses etc and well what i want to know is who are the best people to talk to ? If we want to check out the possibliltie of a termination , where do you get that info ?

I have always been pro-life and i feel such a fool now for changing my mind so easily, it really is different when you are faced with the decision.

I know first things first and get a test but i actually feel sick with worry , i can only imagine how bad i will feel if its postitive.

She changed pill last month , would that maybe mess up her cycle ?

thanks

Gordon

http://www.cura.ie/
http://www.ifpa.ie/
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/bc/index.html

I wouldn't start getting overly worried even if her periods are like clockwork. It's only 6 days. Check the links though. Cura are based in England afair.

hierro

I'm no expert but my girlfriend used to fun like clockwork and does to a certain extent but on occasion she's more than 6 days out and recently was more... she was stressed over exams...

diet and stress often delay them...

Wolf

I know lots of girls that have been late and it turned out to be a false scare.

Also I have a friend of 21 and he has a kid for three years and it hasnt stopped him travelling going out and leading a normal life.

uberwolf

Exams, pill change, stres- loads of things play with it, if it goes much longer get a test. Then make ur decisions, way too early to make them now.

A mate of mine was two weeks late once cos she took the morning after twice in one cycle, she was worried as hell, but the bodies a tempremental thing...

Typedef

I'm actually quite glad I'm alive and even more glad that I wasn't simply 'terminated'.

So since you want to live your life.... and I want to live mine... I suspect said zygote would also want to live it's life.

Who are you to take the opportunity to live away from someone else?

Nevyn

First off make sure that you are in that type of a situation first before you get all worked up.

the IFPA have a brillant service that is a Contraception Helpline
1850 425262

This puts you through to a practice nurse that can help determine
if you need an appointment, she can ehlp you figure out if you at risk of being pregant this may sort out any confusion.

They also have a pregancy helpline if you are indeed at that stage
1850 495051

The wellwomans centre have counselling session for those with
Unexpected/unwatned Pregancy , yes they do referal to clinics in the U.K. but is VERY very important that this is what you want and the Counselling is there to help you both make the decison.

01 6609860 is the is the centre on pembroke road
http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/


And finally BPAS ( Bristish Pregancy advisoary service )
http://www.bpas.org/

They have the info on the site with the details of what to expect if you do decide to travel.


It is not a decision made lightly nor something easily done .
And the Foloow up medical check up and counselling are important even if you feel that this is the rigth decision there a lot of emotional stuff to get through.

I wish you both well and that hopefully you wont need any of the above info.

uberwolf

Is this appropriate venue for abortion debate(could be a little of topic although i'd be interested in seeing one)?

i'm just saying...

mooman_00

Originally posted by Typedef
I'm actually quite glad I'm alive and even more glad that I wasn't simply 'terminated'.

So since you want to live your life.... and I want to live mine... I suspect said zygote would also want to live it's life.

Who are you to take the opportunity to live away from someone else?

he is lookin lookin for advise not a lecture what ever your opinion may be........

Kell

Originally posted by mooman_00
he is lookin lookin for advise not a lecture what ever your opinion may be........

Opinions are what makes the Boards go round mooman, whether or not you agree with them. Terrified did point out that termination had crossed his mind remember.

Anyway, back on topic, six days is not unusual. 2 weeks is not unusual, and since she has just changed pill then I would say that that is what has thrown her clock out. I am not an expert, so dont come back in a few weeks wanting my blood or anything.

If it does come to the worst and you need information on termination PM me. I had a friend in the same boat a few years ago that went down that route.

K-

tribble

I'm no expert but my girlfriend used to fun like clockwork

fun, eh? - sounds like fun to me...

but anyways -> terrified, she is only 6 days late, she did change her pill.

but on the off chance she is pregnant and you (two) do decide to keep it, congratualtions.

tribble

The Sweeper

Originally posted by terrified

She changed pill last month , would that maybe mess up her cycle ?

Okay, quick point about the pill:

You get 21 tablets per pack. When you start taking the pill, you take the first one on day one of your period. You then take one a day at the same time each day until the pack has finished.

At the end of the pack you take a break of seven days. Anywhere between two to five days into this break, you get your period. You start taking the next pack after the seven day break (even if you still have your period, which you probably do).

If you do not get your period in this seven day break, it is recommended that you take a pregnancy test before continuing the next pack of pill.

You can lower the effectiveness of your pill if you forget to take it one day, if you take it more than 12 hours late, if you throw up or get a dose of the runs while taking it, or if you take antibiotics while you are on the pill. If you feel you may have interfered with the effectiveness of your pill during the 21 days that you take it, there are a number of measures you can take. If whatever it is has happened from day 1 - 14 of taking your pill, keep taking it but use alternative contraception - a condom - for the next seven days. If it happens in the last 7 days of taking your pill, continue straight onto the next pack of pill without taking a break. Then at the end of day 42 you take a 7 day break and things should go as normal.

Changing pill may interfere with your girlfriend's cycle while her body adjusts to the different formula. However if any of the things in the above paragraph apply, there is a chance she may be pregnant.

If your girlfriend is 6 days into her 7 day break, she should take a pregnancy test for peace of mind. Whatever the test results she'll need to see her doctor - to confirm the diagnosis if it comes up positive, or to talk about the change of pill if it comes up negative and make sure she's okay to start her next course of pill at the end of 7 days even though she hasn't yet had her period.

The bluntest thing I can say is that a pregnancy test kit costs under a tenner. Buy one. Don't stress yourself out thinking 'what if what if' until you know for sure.

Victor

"terrified" there are lots of options out there and you are probably better discussing them with those close to you and professionals, not people on the internet. These options should also include keeping the baby, adoption or foster care. That said the first thing you need to do is find out if she is pregnant. I have heard of women missing 2-3 periods due to stress. Getting all worried about a slightly late period only adds to stress.

Folks, can we back away from providing details of other organisations and / or advocating one position or another. There is a law in place controlling the provision of such information and it says such information should be provided by professionals, not random people on the internet. Potentially you are exposing the original poster, yourselves and boards.ie to problems they don't need.

Originally posted by uberwolf
Is this appropriate venue for abortion debate(could be a little of topic although i'd be interested in seeing one)?

It belongs on humanities, not here.

simon_partridge

Originally posted by terrified
Basically my girlfriend is 6 days late and im petrified with fear. I know its silly worrying over something we arnt even sure about yet but she is usually like clockwork.

You should think yourself lucky you have a girlfriend at all, mate - I just can't get one at all, ever. I would kill to be in your position so quit complaining. :ninja:

Nevyn

Originally posted by Victor
"Folks, can we back away from providing details of other organisations and / or advocating one position or another. There is a law in place controlling the provision of such information and it says such information should be provided by professionals, not random people on the internet. Potentially you are exposing the original poster, yourselves and boards.ie to problems they don't need. It belongs on humanities, not here.

You can not give the name, address ,phone number of clincs in the U.K. , nor make appointments for some one that is illeagal.

All the phone numbers and links that I put up are freely advailbe in the phone book or via Google.

I am not pushing either way it is hard enough thing to consider with out stranges having ago. Anyone considering having an abortion / termination must see Two counsellors before a clinic appointment is made.

Miguel_Sanchez

6 days isn't all that much to be late (although I know that it's little comfort to you right now for me to say that)

Also AFAIK Cura will not provide you with information about clinics in England. They're a staunch pro-life group but will provide you with information about pregnancy, counselling, adoption options etc.

One more thing: Were you relying solely on the pill for contraception? If you were using something else in conjunction, e.g. condoms, then I'd say that the chances are that she's just late from some other factor.

Many girls miss periods/are late and it turns out to be nothing - I know it's probably scary as hell but just take a deep breath and buy a test for her to take.

Here's hoping she's not.

cartman

well said typedef,
and im not being a cVnt but everyone/thing has a right to life..

just my opinion of it

Elmo

I have always been pro-life and i feel such a fool now for changing my mind so easily, it really is different when you are faced with the decision.

Your a man you don't get the right to choose, if you had such a right to choose someones life.

Have you spoken to your girlfriend about this does she want an abortion?

You could always put it up for adoption, there's lots of people who what a child.

I know first things first and get a test but i actually feel sick with worry , i can only imagine how bad i will feel if its postitive.

It's not like you have AIDs or an incurable illness.

sunbeam

With some combined contraceptive pills (which I assume is what she's taking) the cocktail of hormones is such that it can be normal not to have a 'period' (technically a withdrawal bleed) until day six or day seven after taking the last pill. It can also be normal to skip such a bleed altogether once in a while.

However if there is any chance that a pregnancy may have occured as in this case, it really is best to take a pregnancy test ASAP, especially if your girlfriend intends to go back on the pill. No sense in worrying until you have the result of that.

Trojan

A lot of the pro-life activist lunatics (I'm not talking about the normal Joe Bloggs here) are actually anti-contraception as well - talk about hypocrisy. The church has a lot to answer for...

Anyway, that doesn't help the original poster.

"terrified", a lot more people than you may realise have been through the same situation, I know 5 people that I can think of straight off who have been in the same situation as you are now.

Talk to your good friends if you can, but only those you trust to keep quiet, mind. Telling someone can help.

Don't worry too much, from the stuff you've mentioned about the pills, it'd be a coincidence if they changeover happened same time as fertilisation, so don't worry until you're sure. Take MJDs advice: get a test asap.

And remember, it can happen to anyone, even on the pill ( although using pill & latex together from now on can reduce odds to lottery odds or lower)

Best of luck, and keep cool,
Al.

Trojan

Forgot to mention one thing: if it does turn out to be positive result then you should say one, and only one thing to your gf:

"I will support you in whatever you want to do"

It's her body, her choice, you shouldn't pressure her either way - just tell her that you're going to be there for her whatever happens.

GL,
Al.

davelerave

Originally posted by terrified
Im finding it hard to phrase what i want to say , so forgive me if i arse it up.

Basically my girlfriend is 6 days late and im petrified with fear. I know its silly worrying over something we arnt even sure about yet but she is usually like clockwork.

Im 24 and she is 22 but i still feel way too young and have so many plans , travel , night courses etc and well what i want to know is who are the best people to talk to ? If we want to check out the possibliltie of a termination , where do you get that info ?

I have always been pro-life and i feel such a fool now for changing my mind so easily, it really is different when you are faced with the decision.

I know first things first and get a test but i actually feel sick with worry , i can only imagine how bad i will feel if its postitive.

She changed pill last month , would that maybe mess up her cycle ?

thanks

i've been in the same situation as you ,and i disagree ,if your'e pro-life you don't change your mind ,you better check out the possibility you're goin to be a dad and stop bein' a selfish prick

krankykitty

Originally posted by davelerave
i've been in the same situation as you ,and i disagree ,if your'e pro-life you don't change your mind ,

have to disagree with you there, I really think nobody knows how they'll feel until it happens to them

Xterminator

Terrified,

As you can see theres a lot of people on the boards who just dont have a clue at how youre feeling now.

Its funny how you mention you were 'pro life' before this incident, and how the 'pro lifers' are slating you for admitting termination crossed your mind. (which is all youve indicated).

I have to tell you, almost anyone in your, and your girlfriends position would have the same thoughts (tho they might not openly admit it).
Perhaps when youve thought it through togerther, you might decide its not an option for you, but its perfectly natural to consider all the options. And dont let the b*stards get you down either!

But as a great number of posters have mentioned the odds are she probably not pregnant! A lot of home pregnacy kits dont work inless your GF is X weeks late etc, so be sure you check the small print.
The most defenitive test, is the one her GP can provide, so thats the one I'd advise.
At the end of this scare, whatever the result, it can either bring the two of you closer, or perhaps damage your relationship.

I'd advise you do all you can to be a comfort for your GF. Be there, and be supportive (even if you dont feel like it). Hopefully she can reassure you too, as you are sure to be feeling a bit lost at the mo.

Dont tell anyone you both know without clearing it first with the GF, and preferably dont tell anybody in your circle, until you know either way, till you get the test result in.

X

Typedef

Originally posted by mooman_00
he is lookin lookin for advise not a lecture what ever your opinion may be........

Err what's advise when it's at home?

LegacyUser

Typedef how old are you 12 ? you think your smart your just childish now get as grip and give the guy some decent advice


if you dont have any go away...

Typedef

Oh diddums...

the drapes......

bug

If your girlfriend is 6 days into her 7 day break, she should take a pregnancy test for peace of mind.

Would the synthetic hormones in the pill not interfere with the pregnancy test. I know during the 7 day break that you obviously stop taking the pill but would there not be trace hormones in urine still?- Just a thought (skyeirl??any ideas)

I want to ask the original poster what pill she WAS on and what one she has changed to?

some of them have different amounts of hormones in them if she went from a lower dose pill ie, yasmin or cilest to a much higher dose, it could be that he body is adjusting to the new level of hormone, or maybe she changed to a Progesterone only pill, if ever I have a question like that I just ring my GP and they tell you, It could be nothing, but get her to call him anyways.

Gordon

/me twonks Typey with a large trout

commuterised

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels
Okay, quick point about the pill:

You get 21 tablets per pack. When you start taking the pill, you take the first one on day one of your period. You then take one a day at the same time each day until the pack has finished.

Another quick point about the pill, not all are started on day 1 of your period, some can be taken on days 3 and 5.

Changing brands can knock you out of sync, as can stress, dieting and generally your body just getting into the swing of things so I wouldn't worry until you've done a test.

commuterised

and another point, some pills have 28 tablets per pack and you take one every every every day whether or not you have a bleed.

bug

have a bleed.

ugh, there's something unsettling about that phrase
my sister keeps telling me that the "painters are in" each mth, that's a bizarre one

anyways
yes there are pills with 28 in them but six of them are empty pills, there's nothing in them in some brands, there just there to remind you to take one every day.

thedrowner

Originally posted by terrified
Im finding it hard to phrase what i want to say , so forgive me if i arse it up.

Basically my girlfriend is 6 days late and im petrified with fear. I know its silly worrying over something we arnt even sure about yet but she is usually like clockwork.

Im 24 and she is 22 but i still feel way too young and have so many plans , travel , night courses etc and well what i want to know is who are the best people to talk to ? If we want to check out the possibliltie of a termination , where do you get that info ?

I have always been pro-life and i feel such a fool now for changing my mind so easily, it really is different when you are faced with the decision.

I know first things first and get a test but i actually feel sick with worry , i can only imagine how bad i will feel if its postitive.

She changed pill last month , would that maybe mess up her cycle ?

thanks

don't start worrying until you know for definite whether she is pregnant or not-like everyone said there are thousands of reasons why she is late and if she's on the pill it's not likely that she is pregnant, it's more likely that changing pills/stress causes this. if you're late and you worried about being pregnant (well..her not you!) that stress can make you even more late. cross that bridge together when you come to it.

and don't worry it's only natural to feel shocked terrified etc, and most people do act really differently to a situation then they thought they would, once they've been faced with it, so you are not alone. it's how you act once you face that, that's what matters.

like its been said, your life doesnt have to end if she decides to go through with it, i also have a 21 year old friend with a kid and he has a great life, and wouldn't change things for the world, even if he was terrified with the whole scenario.

good luck whatever happens.

WhiteWashMan

do you own research into the various pills that your g/f has been taking and do a prgnancy test asap.

if she is pregnant, then start thinking about what decision you and your girlfriend are going make and be prepared to support her.
at the end of the day, the decision is hers and hers alone if she is pregnant, all you can do is flourish the facts about the situation.

and ignore all the stupid abortion/pro-life rubbish that is spouted here. you have to make up your own mind.
personally, im not pro abortion or pro-life. i am pro choice.

davelerave

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
do you own research into the various pills that your g/f has been taking and do a prgnancy test asap.

if she is pregnant, then start thinking about what decision you and your girlfriend are going make and be prepared to support her.
at the end of the day, the decision is hers and hers alone if she is pregnant, all you can do is flourish the facts about the situation.

and ignore all the stupid abortion/pro-life rubbish that is spouted here. you have to make up your own mind.
personally, im not pro abortion or pro-life. i am pro choice.

pro-choice is a meaningless phrase.i never considered myself pro-life until confronted with an unexpected pregnancy ,but when it happened i immediately knew what my priority was,it was the life of my child and not 'what am i going to do now ,i hadn't planned on this' ,**** happens that's life

PHB

I dont know if it'll give you any peace of mind, but I know about 4 girls who have gone through the same thing, including my girlfriend, and it turned out ok

For peace of mind, hoping it all turns out ok, use the pill and a condom!!!

The Sweeper

Originally posted by davelerave
pro-choice is a meaningless phrase.i never considered myself pro-life until confronted with an unexpected pregnancy ,but when it happened i immediately knew what my priority was,it was the life of my child and not 'what am i going to do now ,i hadn't planned on this' ,**** happens that's life

I'm quite happy to respect the fact that when an unexpected pregnancy happened to you, you had no qualms or quandries, you knew immediately what your priority was.

However it's not the same for everyone and I don't think it's fair of you to be judgemental on someone else just because a pregnancy termination wasn't an issue for you.

Pro-choice is not a meaningless phrase. To me it means you recognise and support the right of either parent to choose whether or not they want to the pregnancy to go full term.

I don't believe it's exclusively the right of the woman to decide - for instance, if the father of the child wants the child, I don't think the woman has a right to take that decision out of his hands by having an abortion. (Though I wonder how many men would say "Have the child, I'll take it off your hands and look after it exclusively" - the single father phenomenon is certainly not as prolific as the single mother).

But to get back on topic, the bottom line for this poster is to stop arsing around and go with his girlfriend to a GP and get a pregnancy test done...

Mac daddy

i have a little girl who is 2 in july, and it has tied me down a little but we still go on holidays a few times a year, its hard at the start but you get used to it very fast if she is it might be the best thing what happens to you.
if it happens it happens
believe me it is not the end of the world

Gordon

Any update terrified?

sceptre

Originally posted by terrified
I have always been pro-life and i feel such a fool now for changing my mind so easily, it really is different when you are faced with the decision.

Sometimes it is. Many people go through a very serious debate in their head when they're confronted with a situation that will directly affect them. I assume that the last thing you want is an abortion debate and I've no intention of fuelling the flames (therefore I'm not making a discussion issue of my abortion views, which would probably differ from many of the posters in this thread so far). You're not alone in that regard. I know one person who's very close to me who changed her mind when confronted with the possible situation in which you're in (false alarm in her case and she was nearly a month late). You're not a fool for thinking about it - a fool is someone who doesn't think at all.

If it makes you feel any better, at the moment it's fear that's propelling you to that frame of mind (stressful times are never the best time to think seriously about moral issues but then it's better than not thinking about it at all). The odds are quite good that it is a false alarm but you'll have a stressful time until the two of you know (in some ways that's almost worse than finding out, even if it is the result you don't want - no emotional closure in sight etc).

If she is pregnant, it's very important that you make whatever decision you take together. It's not quite true that the man doesn't get the right to choose - the fused cell is half his, therefore he gets an input in any rational relationship. Not necessarily a 50% vote but certainly an input.

If both of you do find yourselves in the baby-expecting situation you have my best wishes (for what it's worth), whatever your decision. With any luck it's a decision you won't have to make, at least not today.

davelerave

hope you're workin things out dude ,sorry for bein harsh i accept it's tough when the situation arises

LegacyUser

False alarm ! She had her period on day 7.

Im sorry i offended some people by the fact that a termination had crossed my mind but your reactions where very unhelpful and made me feel worse to be honest.

I have never been that stressed out and i was thinking of all my ..our options.

Typedef for an intelligent bloke you can be right prick when you want to be.

Everyone else i thank you for the very helpful advice it really did help.

patch

Fair play to ya bud!!!! all's well that ends well......:)

Gordon

Glad to see that you are not terrified anymore.