Question time for God

Pompey Magnus

interview

Orion

Do you really exist? Srsly?

cson

Holy dead thread resurrection batman!

What substances are you on and where can I get them? (Macros42, not God)

randylonghorn

Hmmm ... wasn't Macros a time-traveller?

Maybe this thread is up-to-date for him ...

Orion

Those damn microwaves¬!

Calibos

Calibos wrote: »

Somethings' confused me God. One granny has this thing hanging on her wall called a plenary indulgence. Its a thing she bought for about 30 quid about 30-40 years ago (lot of money in those days) from the church. It means that she gets to skip purgatory and go straight to heaven. Now I know what you're going to say God, "Purgatory ceased to exist because of papal decree at the time of Vatican 2" or some such bollox, but thats not my question. My other granny being less well off couldn't afford one of this plenary thingies. So God does this mean that my poor granny has to serve her time in purgatory while my other granny gets to go straight to heaven because she was rich??? So much for the meek/poor shall inherit the earth then. You know what God, you're just like the Euro Changover rip-off merchants!! Just in it for the money......Sorry, what did you say God, "Its not you its the pope that was making all the cash??" "Well you shouldn't have made him infallible then should ye!!"

Religion.....What a load of Shi........

God. Why don't I remember posting this??

Maybe, its because it was..........

5 $%$ing Years Ago!!

And for the record, I am no longer a heathen. I have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my Heart.

Calibos

Just kidding!!

randylonghorn

Calibos wrote: »

"Well you shouldn't have made him infallible then should ye!!"

Hmmm ... far as I remember, the Pope "made" himself infallible, and then only under strictly defined circumstances, with the backing of the First Vatican Council, and only about 130-140 years ago. Indulgences predate that by many centuries.

Also, papal infallibility has only been invoked once since then, and that was with reference to one of the Marian doctrines ... although a few other doctrines from previous centuries have been considered to fulfil the various criteria for papal infallibility and therefore have been rubber-stamped in retrospect. None of these related to the sale of indulgences or indeed to any financial issues related to the church.

Not that I really give a fark ... just in an anal-retentive let's-be-accurate-here mood ...

SimpleSam06

Whats with this?

Reku

Why do you allow thread necromancy God? Why aren't people who raise these long dead threads punished?:p

jester77

Who got Mary up the pole, was she really getting a bit of nookie on the side and told Joe this BS story? I bet it was Judas's dad as the son seems to have had it in for Jesus!

arybvtcw0eolkf

Can I nuke cork?.

I'd ask him if him and ol' satan play tennis and who wins.

the dee

Why aren't the animals in charge? They'd do a better job than we do.

Jackz

If you do exist and you did create us, do you really want us to spend our existance kissing your ass for it?

Zzippy

Hi. God here. This thread was brought to my attention by one of the staff in my Office of Omnipotence and Omnipresence who monitor everything going on in your lives. I will have a read through of your posts and endeavour to answer your questions as fully as possible. Please bear with me, I have a lot on today.
Regards
God

RonMexico

Is Pope Benedict actually Emperor Palpatine??

Dave!

Zzippy wrote: »

Hi. God here. This thread was brought to my attention by one of the staff in my Office of Omnipotence and Omnipresence who monitor everything going on in your lives. I will have a read through of your posts and endeavour to answer your questions as fully as possible. Please bear with me, I have a lot on today.
Regards
God

Oh dear........ God is from Galway All of my fears have been realised!

I'd ask (the real) god why he added cancer to the natural world... seems to me to be a rather unpleasant thing for a benevolent creator to do.

the dee

DaveMcG wrote: »

I'd ask (the real) god why he added cancer to the natural world... seems to me to be a rather unpleasant thing for a benevolent creator to do.

This is the guy who [allegedly] invented hell and sends us there to be punished eternally for a finite number of sins committed in our short lives.

He's ineffable apparently :rolleyes:

Archeron

Lord, do YOU know what a tracker mortgage is?

Morlar

what did we do that was so bad you had to go and invent french people ?

Dave!

Ask Adam and Eve about that. If they weren't chomping down granny smyths in the Garden of Eden, then all would be hunky dory! :mad:

Archeron

Archeron wrote: »

Lord, do YOU know what a tracker mortgage is?

Yes my son, it is a rate dictated by the European Central Bank rate & goes up or down according to the changes by the ECB. Different banks have different tracker margins and the lower your ''loan to value'' the better the rate you get.

Overheal

assuming creationists are correct: why did you create science?

Archeron

KaG1888 wrote: »

Yes my son, it is a rate dictated by the European Central Bank rate & goes up or down according to the changes by the ECB. Different banks have different tracker margins and the lower your ''loan to value'' the better the rate you get.

In my mind, those words were accompanied by a chorus of angels and a bright white light that blinded me with its brilliance and filled me with a sense of awe and serenity. Finally, lifes real questions are being answered.

DaveMcG

DaveMcG wrote: »

Oh dear........ God is from Galway All of my fears have been realised!

I'd ask (the real) god why he added cancer to the natural world... seems to me to be a rather unpleasant thing for a benevolent creator to do.

no it was free will dontchaknow :rolleyes:

Archeron

Archeron wrote: »

In my mind, those words were accompanied by a chorus of angels and a bright white light that blinded me with its brilliance and filled me with a sense of awe and serenity. Finally, lifes real questions are being answered.

haha .

HammerHeadGym

Why are people who beleive in you so fucking stupid?

See you in hell bitch!!

thefinalstage

Sarky wrote: »

Why do hotdog sausages come in packs of 6, but hot dog buns come in packs of 8?

So as you will buy more of them.

Sleepy

Right, so I was wrong, you do exist. Is the fact I didn't believe in you the reason things never seem to go right for me? And if so, are you really that fvcking vindictive?

Kazobel

The Duck billed platypus...like really WTF was that all about?

azezil

So if you made Adam then all the animals of the earth and sea and the birds of heaven to which Adam replied he couldn't mate with any of them, so like, did he try before you made for him a mate he could bone?

AckwelFoley

Yo! Wassup ma Ni**a!

Holla back at yo boy.. i aint got no credit for these long distance calls.. aiiiight!

Fo shizzle ma nizzle.

azezil

azezil wrote: »

So if you made Adam then all the animals of the earth and sea and the birds of heaven to which Adam replied he couldn't mate with any of them, so like, did he try before you made for him a mate he could bone?

Yes,
He tried it with a hippo and thats where Rosie O' Donnell & Mary Harney came from .

Endasaurus

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

Who's taking the horse to France????

LOL. Depeche Mode, that thing you wrote a good five years ago just made me laugh

MIN2511

KaG1888 wrote: »

Yes,
He tried it with a hippo and thats where Rosie O' Donnell & Mary Harney came from .

LMAO.....

Archeron

Kazobel wrote: »

The Duck billed platypus...like really WTF was that all about?

I think that one's explained by a bag of plasticine, a bunsen burner and a very intense sneezing fit.

So... God.

Why do you have breasts?