see..theres this girl.

LegacyUser

Here's the deal. Theres this girl in college with me, we've been friends since september. i thought i just fancied her and id get over her (but i didnt) Its been 6 months now and i think im in love with her.Trouble is she's got a boyfriend. I really really cant get over her at all. Recently she's been gettin kinda distant from me, Mabye she knows or something. *sigh* What should i do? I used to think she liked me back but mabye she was just flirting. Its so frustrating.
also,
i get jelous because recently she gets on way better with one of my friends. Does this make me a bad person?

Victor

Originally posted by head over heals
Here's the deal. Theres this girl in college with me, we've been friends since september. i thought i just fancied her and id get over her (but i didnt) Its been 6 months now and i think im in love with her.

You are quite possibly obsessing and idealising her. You are probably not in love.

Originally posted by head over heals
Trouble is she's got a boyfriend. I really really cant get over her at all. Recently she's been gettin kinda distant from me, Mabye she knows or something.

She has her own world to live in, she has college and family and friends and her relationship. While this may sound wrong to you, you are not the centre of her world. She probably doesn't even realise you are interested.

Originally posted by head over heals
*sigh* What should i do? I used to think she liked me back but mabye she was just flirting.

Maybe she was flirting (be that for real or as an "evil" woman). I doubt she would flirt with you if she actively disliked you. Is it possible she thought you were rejecting her when you didn't take her up on the flirting?

Originally posted by head over heals
Its so frustrating.

Such is life. I can't tell you get over it, but don't obsess about it.

Originally posted by head over heals
i get jelous because recently she gets on way better with one of my friends. Does this make me a bad person?

No, this does not make you a bad person, hurt at "rejection" (by rejection here, I mean anything but complete acceptance) is a normal reaction.

YoungNastyMan

I think Victor covered that nicely

Caffine

got the same sort of thing with my best m8, cept its 3 years not 6 months

victor said it well but if none of it convinced u think of this, if u tell her, odds are she wont fell the same, and odds are youll have screwed up a good friendship

speaking from experiance its a really bad idea

LegacyUser

I actual met this women a few months ago on a nite out, but then I found out she was going out with a friend of a friend. Not impressed. But I moved on, treated her for what she was - a friend - anything else was secondary. Well she broke up with her fella and I took things gently and I got to snog her at the weekend. Lets see how things go.

Placebo

3 words, Let it go . it wont work out....i think.

sceptre

Originally posted by head over heals
I used to think she liked me back but mabye she was just flirting.

I'm genuinely not being a smartarse here but maybe she was just being friendly. I've been accused by a few people of flirting with a few other people lately. One would honestly think that just talking to anyone female constitutes flirting from what they're saying. I've a few good female friends (some acquired relatively recently) that I hang out with all the time - it doesn't necessarily mean I want to be with any of them. If I did, I'd probably just say (the fear of being rebuffed isn't good but you do get over it).

For example, I've a new good female friend (since relatively recently - about the last month). Most of her friends are guys. She's one of those people with the ability to walk into a room full of people she doesn't know and have a list of new friends within an hour. Basically she's a friendly person with a reasonable amount of self-confidence. Good-looking too. We've been hanging out a fair bit recently (all the time really). Doesn't mean she fancies me or any of her other friends. If she did, well, she'd probably just say. Hanging out with someone every day doesn't mean either party necessarily fancies the other, regardless of how many coffee breaks, dinners, cinema visits or TV sessions are involved. We get on - we're good friends. That's what it may have been in your situation as well.

Oh yeah, you're not a bad person. At least not based on this problem:). And it's not an easy situation to be in. Could you not just tell her (even just once)?

bobo1011

let me tell u.
Last november i met this girl through a friend and we hit it off straight away. We became best of friends within a few weeks.Firstly i did want to get with her,but on the very same night that i met her i was told that she had a bf who was not living in town.That was that for me, but we still hung around together and practically met every day.There was some mutual flirting most of the time,and we became fairly close, we both realised that there was more going on between us than we thought was possible.We got together and it seemed for both of us that nothing could be better. But she had still not broken it off with the bf and as far as he was concerned, i did not exist and they were only taking it easy for a while.with plenty of thinking going on,i wanted clarity on the subject and it was looking good for me, then just like that its finished and she is going to try and revive things with the guy she knew before me.I end up having to take it like a man and hide my broken heart,because at the end of it all, thats what i deserve,relationships (no matter how right they seem to be ) are not ment to happen under those circumstances and it is not right to be the third person.
If it is ment to be between you and this girl, then it will happen, she knows you and likes you cause you are good friends. Dont **** it up, cause she is in a position where she is going out with someone, but if she wants you more,she will let you know.
keep friendly but dont fall for her just yet dude, it aint worth it.

LegacyUser

Let her come to you, if it's meant to be it's meant to be

LegacyUser

Um, today she told me that she fancied one of my friends, (she's in a relationship btw) and she was really sad and confused. So i just tried to be a good friend, but i felt so gutted. I was her shoulder to cry on, but i still havent told her anything yet. Now its twice as tough.

Originally posted by head over heals
Um, today she told me that she fancied one of my friends, (she's in a relationship btw) and she was really sad and confused. So i just tried to be a good friend, but i felt so gutted. I was her shoulder to cry on, but i still havent told her anything yet. Now its twice as tough.

Perhaps, the person she's talking about is you... or did she say who it was?
My advice to you would be to tell her now.
you are already miserable, knowing you want her in that way, so let her know and see what happens.
Try to be cool or humerous and nice about it.
It won't be that bad.
mm

Gordon

This is the perfect reason why (Darth Vader voice on) "relationships do not concern me admiral."

Id say - "Don't be sad or confused, you are a beautiful person no matter who you are with, you shouldn't have to be with a particular man to make you happy as you are a shining star within. Do what makes you happy at the end of the day as it is your life, you will still be the most wonderful woman in mine, whatever you do."

/edit

(and the sick bags are located in the seat in front of you, emergency exits <--here and --> here.)

[mod edit test]

Q_Ball

Originally posted by head over heals
Um, today she told me that she fancied one of my friends, (she's in a relationship btw) and she was really sad and confused. So i just tried to be a good friend, but i felt so gutted. I was her shoulder to cry on, but i still havent told her anything yet. Now its twice as tough.

If she has a boyfriend and fancies one of your friends then i think it's pretty obvious that you're not a contender, or if you are you'll have to wait your turn, but telling her now isn't a good idea. She'll more than likely not confide in you anymore and slowly fade away when she finds someone else to "talk" to. Sorry dude, don't want to sound harsh.