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funny haha

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  • 16-05-2003 1:35pm
    #1
    starlet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭


    any good jokes....?

    what's green and invisible?

    this cabbage


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    #2
    Trev M
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    An elephant asks a camel : " why are your breasts on your back ?"
    " Well " says the camel , " I think it is a strange question from
    somebody who's dick is in his face"


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    #3
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    what do you get whaen you put a baby in a blender?


    don't know what you get, but i get a massive erection


    (em, that generally sounds better coming from someone who can have an erection.)


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    #4
    Trev M
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    Interesting profile there Jolene ....had to check out your interests after a joke like that hahahaa are you posting from a womens prision by any chance:D


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    #5
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    whaWHOTOLDYOu....


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    #6
    Trev M
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    Ahh was just a goo guess hahaa, Ive come to understand that in life, Im like a fly paper for lunatics , if there's one in the vacinity by sheer fate I will have some interaction with them.....like when they get on the bus and they're talkin to themselves n stuff doesnt matter where Im sitting they'll find me and sit next to me.......

    Or drunk people , for some reason drunk people tell me their problems....strange but true...and kinda sad as well I get some kinda perverse satisfaction from it......but babies in blenders arent my thing :D


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    #7
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    pureed babies not your bag, eh?

    ok then,

    how do frogs kill themselves?

    they kermit suicide

    (sorry. no i'm really sorry. i should be PUNished. oh jesus)


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    #8
    starlet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭starlet


    there's 2 cows in a field grazing, and one goes "moooooooo".
    the other one turns around and goes "funny, i was going to say that". boom boom etc


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    #9
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    two snowmen in a field.

    One turns to the other and says

    "theres an awful smell of carrots.."


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    #10
    SimonMaher
    Registered Users Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SimonMaher


    Theres just something vaguely familiar about some of these jokes....can't quite put my finger on it though..... :D

    Regards,

    Pete Reed
    Phantom FM


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    #11
    starlet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭starlet


    hmmm one can only wonder, can't they JOLEY??!!!
    what's brown and sticky?
    a stick


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    #12
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    Whats pink and screams?

    A peeled baby in a bag of salt


    the conversation always seems to get back round to dead babies when Pete Reed is about. and incidentally I have no clue as to why these jokes are so familar.


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    #13
    SimonMaher
    Registered Users Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SimonMaher


    Nothing wrong with baby jokes......

    How do you make a baby drink?

    Put it in a blender....

    or indeed:

    A ham roll walks into a pub and asks the barman for a pint of guinness. The barman says "Im sorry, we don't serve sandwiches".....

    And Starlet, I reckon Jolene is a joke thief from other peoples computers....watch yourself!

    Regards,

    Pete Reed
    Phantom FM


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    #14
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    whats funnier than a dead baby?

    a dead baby in a clown suit


    did ya ever hear that CrayonZ song, bringing the conversation down? Just thought I'd throw that out there.

    And I'm NOT a joke thief

    how dya make a baby drink?
    put it in a blender


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    #15
    SimonMaher
    Registered Users Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SimonMaher


    See! You stole my blender joke already.....meanie. Jolene the joke theif they will all shout. Maybe.

    And yea, "Bringing the Conversation Down" is a very apt song at the moment.

    My tiny brain is empty of jokes at the moment so will have to get back to those texts to refresh it...more to follow at a later stage.

    Regards,

    Pete Reed
    Phantom FM


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    #16
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    youre stealing my jokes
    country fm stole our licence
    the nurses are stealing my medication

    theres always something, isn't there?


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    #17
    SimonMaher
    Registered Users Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SimonMaher


    Heehee yes there is always something Ms Stealy McSteal-Steal!

    You steal jokes but bring cake and chocolate though so its permissable in your case. No other exceptions though :p


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    #18
    lamda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 726 ✭✭✭lamda


    Originally posted by starlet
    any good jokes....?

    what's green and invisible?

    this cabbage

    Well ya see we can't see you... so you could be holding a cabbage!!
    How are we to know?????
    Oh i feel cheated:(


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    #19
    karma kabbage
    Closed Accounts Posts: 413 ✭✭karma kabbage


    well, a sausage and a rasher are in a frying pan and the sausage turns to the rasher and says, 'phew! it's gettin' pretty hot in here huh?!' and the rasher whips round and exclaims, 'OH MY GOD!!! A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!'


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    #20
    thedrowner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,287 ✭✭✭thedrowner


    bloody hell karma kabbage i was scrolling down through this thread thinking 'gotta tell my sausage joke gotta tell my sausage joke....and you#ve bloody posted it to directly over this post where i was going to post it
    and the 2 snowmen in a feild joke is mine too...

    anyway, its 2 sausages in a frying pan not a sausage and a rasher....

    that joke nearly got me a goody bag on dont feed the gondola's

    now if i could just think of a joke this post wouldnt have been so crap

    oh i have one
    not short through:

    a guy goes to the doctor, and says 'doctor, my willies gone orange'
    and the doctors asks him to pull down his pants and show him so the guy does and the doctor says 'welll...sometimes this can happen due to stress. are you stressed at the moment?'
    'no'
    'how's work'
    'it's awful, i work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week, with a 15 minute break and really awful pay'
    'that sounds stressful'
    'well i've just got a new job, where i do half the work, get 5 times the pay and more breaks'
    'well that's good. and how about youre love life?'
    'oh, im going out with this total bitch, she's so controlling, and she takes every single penny i have and is always putting me down'
    'well that sounds stressful!'
    'but i'm leaving her, and im really excited about it'
    'ok then. thats good. and how's your social life'
    'well..i dont really go out much'
    'so what do you do all day?'
    'oh....just sit around eating monster munch and watching porn.....'


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    #21
    Funkstard
    Registered Users Posts: 2,241 ✭✭✭Funkstard


    People say an onion is th only fruit to make you cry. Have you ever been hit by a fu**ing turnip?


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    #22
    Saint-dotsie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭Saint-dotsie


    whats funnier than a room full of dead babies?

    a rooom full of dead babies with one alive in the middle trying to eat its way it!!

    (its quite a hillarious visualisation)

    whats long,green and smells of bacon?
    Kermits Finger!!!

    What do peroxide blondes and aeroplanes have in common?
    they both have black boxes.


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    #23
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    why did the chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?

    To break on through to the other side


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    #24
    starlet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭starlet


    why did the chicken Gavin Fox cross the road?
    to join Idlewild


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    #25
    Jolene
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Jolene


    hii-yooo


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    #26
    Rodriguez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭Rodriguez


    A joke,,,,,,,,,is a short story with a humorous climax?


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    #27
    starlet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭starlet


    A joke,,,,,,,,,is a short story with a humorous climax?

    yes, according to dictionary.com.......

    joke n.
    Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
    A mischievous trick; a prank.
    An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
    Informal.
    Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
    An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.

    so, what's your point, caller?
    and yes, i am aware that i have FAR too much time on my hands ever since i've finished college. so anyway....

    what's red and invisible?

    no tomato


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