girls

shyguy81 · 18-05-2003 2:46am #1

I have a really bad time talking to girls, you cant even imagine how uncomfortable it is. I have been talking to one lately pretty frequently on the internet but when i see her in town and she says "hi" with all her friends around her its pretty intimidating and i just mumble a hello and stutter off somewhere. She has a boyfriend atm which makes it even harder for me to talk to her + i cant ever think of what to say

. but i dont know how long it will last, what would be the easiest way to let her no im interested without freaking her out , i am sure it would be easier for me to speak to her then but im not really sure anyway any advice. Whats worse is that im 16 and I should be able to speak ok , i think my main fear is rejection which would destroy me. thx

Crucifix · 18-05-2003 9:41am

You probably shouldn't let her know your interested while she has a boyfriend.

Tusky · 18-05-2003 9:58am

send her an email saying you want to sex her up, that will get you in there

YoungNastyMan · 18-05-2003 11:30am

Your still quite young, you'll get over the intimidation. I wouldn't worry about it.
HINT:The internet is not a safe place to be meeting girls. Before you know it you'll have a 40yr old preist blessing your underpants

shyguy81 · 18-05-2003 12:47pm

I met her in real life first obutiously! that would just be spookey

Mac daddy · 18-05-2003 2:19pm

Originally posted by shyguy81
I met her in real life first obutiously! that would just be spookey

that is a part of getting to know somebody sometimes that has to done,

Caesar_Bojangle · 19-05-2003 9:09pm

Well if you're shy you should do reasonably okay with the ladies, but if you're fugly and shy all i can say is you are truly screwed.

Why the fup do you want a girlfriend at 16? that was one of my best years being free and acting like a man whore(gigolo doesnt have the same impact) at every given opportunity.

Riamfada · 20-05-2003 1:41am

Originally posted by YoungNastyMan

HINT:The internet is not a safe place to be meeting girls. Before you know it you'll have a 40yr old preist blessing your underpants

So if I go looking for a fourty year old priest to bless my underpants he will turn out to be a 19 year old sex goddess with no underpants? . . . . . Or Will I find another priest?

DriftingRain · 20-05-2003 1:57am

It is always best to be someones friend first. You get to know them better and better which leads to a great relationship. Giver her space if you like her espically because she has a botfriend and you could just complicate things between yourselves.
~Good Luck~;)

Typedef · 20-05-2003 8:11am

Originally posted by DriftingRain
It is always best to be someones friend first. You get to know them better and better which leads to a great relationship. Giver her space if you like her espically because she has a botfriend and you could just complicate things between yourselves.
~Good Luck

Yeah, yoiu 'could' do that.

You could aslo invite her out to a club (as friends), seduce her, and take her back to your place for a night of adultry and passion.

Both propositions could work.

WhiteWashMan · 20-05-2003 8:59am

youre just intimidated because you are low in self esteem. i bet you keep your head down and look at the ground a lot, or at her.

do you know what women find most attractive about men?

i'll tell you. as a legendry love god in my day, all you needed was confidence. in fact, when i was doing my thang in college and sleeping with anyone and everything i can find (i had sex with a car wash once. i was drunk, she was pretty) i had zip confidence. none. in fact, i had less than that. i hated myself, i hated college, i hated everyone i hung around, and i hated everything i was. i cahnged myself more times than i actually had hot dinners. or at least beans on toast.

but...

you can still give the impression of having confidence.
its easy, and its not as daunting as you would think. you dont need balls of steel, because youa re already inthe situation where you can say hello to her.
all you have to do is....

lift your head.
stand up straight.
put your shoulders back.
look her in the eye.
not fumble over the word 'hello'
engage her in a little conversation, like how are you? what you doing? ehy, maybe you wanna grab a coffee or something in cafe moka or starbucks or whatever?
smile

if you are intmidated by her friends, smile at them too.

its very easy. i promise you.
once your stunning personality starts to shine through, youwill haev no problems.
you first aim is to get her to a coffee shop where you can engage in one on one conversation in a safe non commital neutral zone!
then think about what you want to talk about. havea few topics up your sleeve. she obviously uses the net. she uses irc (i assume) how did you meet? where does she live? ask her what her favourite colour is, favourite food (very important, sometimes when you are feeling ready the next step is dinner. sounds old fashioned, but girls really love being brought out for dinner!)

ok
thats pretty much it.

so all it is is confidence. not very many people have it, but that doesnt matter, you just have to give the appearance.
always give eye contact. if she doesnt, then she could be nervous and shy. women arent the ultimate power holders. they can be shy as well, and have no confidence. just keep going.
if she doesnt make eye contact and she is dismissive, leave it, shes not interested.

i would have shouted at you as per normal, but some people are oppressing my right to answer as i see fit. so just to get that little bit of anger that these posts throw up, i'll just add:
jesus! just go and fúcking talk to her

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 20-05-2003 9:04am

jesus, i was having cold sweats there until i read the last line of your post wwman

thought i was in the twilight zone or something

sceptre · 21-05-2003 1:21am

Originally posted by shyguy81
I have a really bad time talking to girls, you cant even imagine how uncomfortable it is.

Girls are people too. They're just like you and me (well, perhaps except for the jiggly bits). TBH her having a boyfriend should make it easier to talk to her if anything - nothing's going to happen regardless while that's going on so that rejection possibility is a long way off

Catsmokinpot · 21-05-2003 4:41am

im 20 and i only just learnt how to speak to women. it was absolutely horrifying and stressfull. when i was your age i had but a few girls i could talk to one of them was my mum.

she told me the way to a womans heart is to be confident. or as whitwashman said pretend to be. be yourself and pretend not to be interested (if they think your just speaking to them to get in their pants they lose all interest) so look them in the eyes not in the chest

oh and one more thing if you get with a girl. learn to cook good food you know the saying "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach" well it works for women too. believe me;)

WhiteWashMan · 21-05-2003 8:54am

Originally posted by Catsmokinpot
or as whitwashman said pretend to be. be yourself and pretend not to be interested (if they think your just speaking to them to get in their pants they lose all interest) so look them in the eyes not in the chest

woah!

easy tiger!

i never said pretend not to be interested!
thats one game i would never say you should go into.
even if you are pretending to have confidence (and in time you will learn that this is actually what confidence is) you should never ever play the 'im not interested in you' game. games are not fun, they dont get you anywhere and at the end of it, the person you want will see you as someone different, and if they get with you, you will not be the person you put forward.

so no games. if you are intetrested, go talk. if oyu are not interested, dont go talk.
if you are not interested and she talks to you, chat, be nice (yes, talk to face, not chest) and be pleasant. dont act 'cool' or distant or uninterested. after all, if you fancied someone and they did the same to you, you would be really embarassed and very píssed off.

a good rule to remember is 'do unto others...'

Wolf · 21-05-2003 9:03am

Originally posted by DriftingRain
It is always best to be someones friend first. You get to know them better and better which leads to a great relationship. Giver her space if you like her espically because she has a botfriend and you could just complicate things between yourselves.
~Good Luck~;)

While this is a nice idea it rarely works. I like the idea of making a friend first then a girl friend but usually all that happens is I end up one friend short

And in short confidence works. Although to have ture confidence takes year to practice. Although in the short run just follow the LOVE GOD :rolleyes: WWM's examples.

Catsmokinpot · 21-05-2003 1:29pm

as i said if you had read the post properly........ (notice the full stop, also notice you missed the start of the centance and then another full stop after that sentance had ended)

Originally posted by Catsmokinpot
she told me the way to a womans heart is to be confident. or as whitwashman said pretend to be.

i didnt say you said that. and, i also didnt mean he should show no interest. excuse my stupidity but im not very good with wording. of course be interested but not "grrr show us your knockers" interested, as sometimes this does scare them away and also comes off as being sad

mooman_00 · 21-05-2003 3:03pm

Originally posted by Catsmokinpot
"grrr show us your knockers" sometimes this does scare them away and also comes off as being sad

:eek: what when did this happen?.....

what about , unzip and drop pants (no y-fronts) and say "grrr have a go off that young wan"

Miguel_Sanchez · 21-05-2003 3:08pm

GIRLS
(bum bum bum)
Yeah all I really want are GIRLS
(bum bum bum bum)
Two at a time I want GIRLS
(bum bum bum)
With new wave hairdos I want GIRLS
(bum bum bum bum)

GIRLS

(Sorry I couldn't resist)

Catsmokinpot · 21-05-2003 3:39pm

lol it was tommy teirnan talking about his friend declan

WhiteWashMan · 21-05-2003 5:55pm

Originally posted by Jeff_Lebowski
GIRLS
(bum bum bum)
Yeah all I really want are GIRLS
(bum bum bum bum)
Two at a time I want GIRLS
(bum bum bum)
With new wave hairdos I want GIRLS
(bum bum bum bum)

GIRLS

(Sorry I couldn't resist)

to do the dishes?

Miguel_Sanchez · 22-05-2003 12:42am

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
to do the dishes?

To clean up my room even.

shyguy81 · 24-05-2003 1:39am

Its evil we started talking loads on the net like for about 2-3 hours a night and im wondering if the **** will hit the fan if i tell her, whats the best thing i should do. I really like hear and we share all the same interests and stuff, whats the most descret way to tell her

disco_rob_funk · 25-05-2003 1:04am

kid, you want to know my philosophy on women?

my philosophy on women is that everyone's got a bullshít philosophy of their own which worked for them once, which they in turn inflict on other people who don't yet have a bullshít philosophy of their own, and are looking for guidance.

I used to be v. much like you at your age (am nearly 21 now); I don't know what happened in between, but I'm not like that any more. I didn't listen to people's advice (I was something of a late bloomer with women), because anything anyone said undoubtedly conflicted with something from someone else.

You'll figure it out yourself.

Placebo · 25-05-2003 1:54pm

Its evil we started talking loads on the net like for about 2-3 hours a night and im wondering if the **** will hit the fan if i tell her, whats the best thing i should do. I really like hear and we share all the same interests and stuff, whats the most descret way to tell her

you said she had a b/f ? now ure gonna tell her that u like her ? what u expecting......?
anyway dont do it on the net . Thats just crazzzzzZy

trunks · 25-05-2003 4:27pm

it is obvious that she likes you,

but the difference between like and love is vast, and I can not tell. if she loves you.

If you want to do something about it you better move fast if you wait too long you will be well into the "friend zone" and the zone is a no score area.

there is something more important
you seam to know this girl v. well ?and you might damage that friendship
and she will hit the roof but if you don't freak out too much and don't go on about "destiny and love" you should do all right

Typedef · 25-05-2003 6:28pm

[edit: Right Typedef, what you are advocating is bordering on date rape, and under no circumstances will I, or any of the other mods, let you continue doing this, one or twice saying things like this can be funny but there is a limit and you have reached it. Please desist or else you will be banned.

<< Fio >> /edit]

lordsippa · 25-05-2003 8:14pm

Y'know... now I'm curious as to what Type said...

Miguel_Sanchez · 25-05-2003 11:18pm

Originally posted by trunks
If you want to do something about it you better move fast if you wait too long you will be well into the "friend zone" and the zone is a no score area.

That's not always true - just something that people throw about a lot (remember the Friend Zone part in Scrubs?)

Some people shy away from getting together with a friend but it often happens.

Pigman II · 25-05-2003 11:20pm

Originally posted by lordsippa
Y'know... now I'm curious as to what Type said...

It wasn't that interesting but lets just say a lot of women would deserve it if it were to happen to them.

And smiles, in defence of the guy, what he suggested (whether he was joking or not) wasn't bordering on date-rape.

smiles · 25-05-2003 11:51pm

Originally posted by Pigman II
It wasn't that interesting but lets just say a lot of women would deserve it if it were to happen to them.

And smiles, in defence of the guy, what he suggested (whether he was joking or not) wasn't bordering on date-rape.

Em, comments like your first one one are not appreciated in any way, shape or form. Please cop on? What you are saying shows an incredible ignorance and lack of consideration for everyone.

And he was getting beyond a joke, I've already talked to him and so you've no need to "defend" him, he's a big boy (or so he tells me)

<< Fio >>

Miguel_Sanchez · 25-05-2003 11:55pm

Originally posted by Pigman II
It wasn't that interesting but lets just say a lot of women would deserve it if it were to happen to them.

That sounds decidedly misogynistic to me.

Of course I don't know what he was suggesting but still that phrase 'would deserve it' is fraught with dangers.

Gordon · 26-05-2003 12:04am

shyguy, you have spoken to her for hours on the internet and haven't asked her out somewhere, or asked her round to your place to, I dunno, paint pictures or make a pizza yet?*

Just invite her to do something with you, something that you like doing, maybe she will want to do it, maybe not. You can only find out by speaking with her about it. You don't need a subtle way of asking her, just ask her "Hey, I'm going to the cinema, want to go with me?".

*ok, I've never used that line, I can't guarantee its effectiveness.

Pigman II · 26-05-2003 12:50am

Originally posted by smiles
Please cop on? What you are saying shows an incredible ignorance and lack of consideration for everyone.

Don't get me wrong I'd say that just as many men would deserve exactly the same aforemention treatment if the sexes had been reversed. In fact that's why he said what he said - because he could envision just that reverse scenario happening. I'm not a misogynist and if my 'deserve it' comment made me sound that way then I apologise. Just replace 'many women would deserve it' with many 'many people would deserve it'.

Originally posted by smiles
so you've no need to "defend" him

Yeah I think there is a need to defend people when (as you've demonstrated) not only are their comments wiped by a mod but to make things worse an inaccurate four word 'summation' of what they said is put in place of what actually said - making the poster seem even worse WITHOUT the wording of the post. If that guy is giving you trouble then fair enough ban him /wipe his posts or whatever you like - but don't go compounding things by misconstruing and misrepresenting peoples words just cos you don't like what they have to say or how they act on your board.

Just to clarify I don't know the guy from Jack but least now if he comes on saying that those 'date-rape' comments of yours were pure BS he'll have at least on person to back up what he was saying.

So apologies for any offence caused in my previous post (it was unintended) but I still think that your 'edit' was unfair.

oq4v3ht0u76kf2 · 26-05-2003 2:04am

Go and watch "The Tao of Steve". Watch it all the way through mind you, not just the first hour or so. Then proceed to watch "High Fidelity", again, all the way through. After this you will have seen several things you should NOT do, and taken your mind off this girl for a few hours. This is a good thing.

jd · 26-05-2003 2:41am

Originally posted by shyguy81
[BI have been talking to one lately pretty frequently on the internet but when i see her in town and she says "hi" with all her friends around her its pretty intimidating and i just mumble a hello and stutter off somewhere. [/B][/QUOTE
chat up one of her friends..
no seriously..just talk to her when you meet her..at her/your age its not as if she is going to be with her bf for ever..
corse if you can carry off the cold distant type that can work too..

NeMiSiS · 26-05-2003 4:03pm

Bring her to "The Zoo" !

Man I love the ****ing Zoo .. Elephants and Giraffes and ****..tis ****in rockin !

Last two times I went though they didnt have the Elephants out ! I wasnt impressed,I over reacted and tried to steal a Mercat..in some kind of bent fit of revenge...got away with a warning ..

But yeh !

The Zoo !

Chicks dig the Zoo..

Divine · 27-05-2003 7:57pm

why on these stupid boards do a load of fellas always answer a question directed at girls like ye are al doing right now

[edit: refrain from that language please. << Fio >> [/edit]

lordsippa · 27-05-2003 9:37pm

Because we've nothing better to do?

NeMiSiS · 28-05-2003 12:05am

Would you not like to be taken to the Zoo Divine ?

WhiteWashMan · 28-05-2003 9:42am

Originally posted by Divine
why on these stupid boards do a load of fellas always answer a question directed at girls like ye are al doing right now

[edit: refrain from that language please. << Fio >> [/edit]

surely its better to get a a lot of different opinions?

by the way, im not sure at what point this became a girls reply only thread either.

Trojan · 28-05-2003 5:33pm

Interesting question WWM has there Divine, can you answer as to why girls only should reply?

Anyway, to answer your original question... in my own experience I've found that generally girls are not a good source of advice about how guys should go about chatting up other girls. The reason?

Well, the simple explanation is that girls don't normally go around trying to chat up other girls -guys do. Therefore they don't have the experience or perspective that we do.

(Yes, there are other reasons too, but I'll save that for a chat over a pint, ok Fio?)

Al.

Divine · 29-05-2003 4:31pm

but sure obviously a girl will know what she would like if someone chatted her up and thats what the boy was asking. :rolleyes:

Trojan · 29-05-2003 5:17pm

Originally posted by Divine
but sure obviously a girl will know what she would like if someone chatted her up and thats what the boy was asking. :rolleyes:

Wasn't going to bother answering, but hell, I'll bite.

Well, I just wrote 6 paragraphs, but on reflection I'll delete them.

I disagree, I think you're wrong, speaking from personal experience I can say for absolute certain that there's nothing obvious about a girl knowing what she likes or dislikes.

I'm not going to post my reasons here, but I'll be in the White Horse on Burgh Quay from about 6pm on Sat night if you want my reasons

You may have to buy me a pint of course

Cheers,
Al.

embee · 29-05-2003 9:24pm

Not all girls expect chaps to be all talky talky getting to know you.
First night I met my boyfriend I never spoke a word to him the whole night. We were in Carlow, really drunk and in the mood for fun. He made the first move - started kissing me....... I reciprocated.......... that was last September and Im still with him now. Ply her with booze I say - it damn straight worked on me.

Divine · 30-05-2003 1:44pm

lol thats bad :-)

Up the banner!!!

girls

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