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If Men Ran The World...

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  • 22-05-2003 10:42am
    #1
    smiles
    Registered Users Posts: 2,648 ✭✭✭


    Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

    Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

    Birth control would come in ale or lager.

    Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

    St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.

    Garbage would take itself out.

    The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle."

    Instead of "beer-belly," you'd get "beer-biceps."

    Tanks would be far easier to rent.

    Two words... "Ally McNaked."

    When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:

    Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"

    You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."

    Cop :"Nice one! That's $10.00 off."

    Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

    Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.

    The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

    It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

    Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!"

    When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

    Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."

    The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

    "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night," would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

    At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

    Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

    People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

    << Fio >>


Comments

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    #2
    hells angels
    Closed Accounts Posts: 718 ✭✭✭hells angels


    If only:D


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    #3
    Pompey Magnus
    Registered Users Posts: 5,406 ✭✭✭Pompey Magnus


    Originally posted by smiles


    Two words... "Ally McNaked."


    Am I the only guy who has no wish to see Ally McBeal naked? :(

    The rest are quite true tho!!!:D


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    #4
    Serbian
    Registered Users Posts: 2,156 ✭✭✭Serbian


    Originally posted by spandauballet
    Am I the only guy who has no wish to see Ally McBeal naked? :(

    The rest are quite true tho!!!:D

    How about Kylie MaNaked? :)


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    #5
    Catch_22
    Registered Users Posts: 432 ✭✭Catch_22


    eh but men do run the world ..


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    #6
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,175 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Men are only let think they rule the world ...


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    #7
    Sposs
    Registered Users Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Sposs


    I Taught Men already ruled the world? :p


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    #8
    [Iramus]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭[Iramus]


    Originally posted by spandauballet
    Am I the only guy who has no wish to see Ally McBeal naked?

    No


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    #9
    Acidflash
    Registered Users Posts: 1,228 ✭✭✭Acidflash



    "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night," would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

    maybe some day :)


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    #10
    Sauron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,139 ✭✭✭Sauron


    Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
    ahh a man can dream can't he?
    ww)


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    #11
    Spunog UIE
    Registered Users Posts: 2,651 ✭✭✭Spunog UIE


    Ally McNaked, dear GOD no!

    the rest seem perfectly reasonable...

    i say yes! :D


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    #12
    Thorbar
    Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭Thorbar


    If you gave the poor girl a good feed then I'd consider looking at her naked.


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    #13
    JohnK
    Registered Users Posts: 4,780 ✭✭✭JohnK


    what a wonderful world it would be :)


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    #14
    de5p0i1er
    Registered Users Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    Will we ever live to see this wonderful place.


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    #15
    MrNuked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 989 ✭✭✭MrNuked


    ...All humour would be repetetive and based on exagerrated steroptypes?

    Why do you want to see Ally McCoist naked?

    ...you mean Ally McBeal? Jesus that's even worse


    :eek:


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