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Pub jokes

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  • 01-06-2003 7:33pm
    #1
    ella minnow pea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭


    So this man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and goes "A pint please, and one for the road"

    So this sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender goes "oi! We don't serve food in here!"

    A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

    Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

    A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

    So this dyslexic man walks into a bra....


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    #2
    poppygirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭poppygirl


    points for effort:)


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    #3
    Sauron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,139 ✭✭✭Sauron


    Can't blame him for trying

    (puns are the lowest form of comedy)


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    #4
    ella minnow pea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭ella minnow pea


    actually its sarcasim is the lowest for of wit

    also HIM????

    Eh??


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    #5
    Spenguin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 292 ✭✭Spenguin


    Meh. Sometimes puns are the funniest things in the world, other times they just plain suck. This is one of those times.


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    #6
    disco_rob_funk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 355 ✭✭disco_rob_funk


    True, very true...

    a good pun is it's own reword


    RC


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    #7
    ella minnow pea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 429 ✭✭ella minnow pea


    jeez you guys are so depressing

    guess you dont want to hear about the dyslexic* atheist who didnt believe in dog


    *WHY is that word so hard to spell o the irony


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    #8
    Pugsley
    Registered Users Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Originally posted by ella minnow pea
    jeez you guys are so depressing

    guess you dont want to hear about the dyslexic* atheist who didnt believe in dog


    *WHY is that word so hard to spell o the irony
    Why can you not say lisp without a lisp?
    Why isnt phoenetically spelt phonetically?
    Why is abbreviation such a long word?


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    #9
    Jaeger
    Registered Users Posts: 319 ✭✭Jaeger


    Noone mentioned the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to santa :)


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    #10
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,175 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    with a pig under his arm, the barman asks "where did yo get that" - "won him in a raffle" said the pig

    Homer walks in to a bar "Dunk D'oh"


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    #11
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,175 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    St. Patrick walks into a bar

    Sits down at the bar and orders a pint. The barman goes off to get it. Then Patrick hears a small voice say "that's a nice crozier you have there St. Patrick." Looking around he sees no one. A little later there is another voice and he hears "you're looking fine today St. Patrick" - and yet he is still the only one in the bar. Thoughts of dementia arise when he hears "That was a great mass you did last Sunday"

    Just then the barman arrives back with the pint. St Patrick asks him about the voices. Barman says "nothing to worry about - it's the peanuts d'ya see" "What" says Patrick - "Well" said the barman - "they are complimentary... "


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