roman translations

cowlren

(from Henry Beard's wonderful book "Latin for All
Occasions.")

Heu! Tintinnuntius meus sonat!
(Darn! There goes my beeper!)

Nulla mensa sine impensa
(There's no such thing as a free lunch)

Gramen artificiorum odi
(I hate artificial turf)

Quantum in una hora imputas?
(You charge how much an hour?)

Flexilis sum, gluten es, me resilit, ad te haeret!
(I'm rubber, you're glue, bounces off me, sticks to you!)

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
(I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult)

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris
(If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar)

Volo comparare nonnulla tegumembra
(I'd like to buy some condoms)

Perscripto in manibus tabellariorum est
(The check is in the mail)

Braccae tuae aperiuntur
(Your fly is open)

In dentibus aticis frustum magnum spinaciae habes
(You have a big piece of spinach on your front teeth)

Quid sentis de Undequinquagintis?
(How about them 49ers?)

Toto, sentio nos in Kansate non iam adesse
(Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore)

Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia:
quam eleganter concinnatur!
(Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid
jacket!)
Frequentasne hunc locum?
(Come here often?)

Apudne te vel me?
(Your place or mine?)

Ancilla in computatione faciem subridentem pinxit
(The waitress drew a smiley face on my check)

Habesne "olyzam flictam?" Hae hae hae.
(Do you have "flied lice?" Ha ha ha.)

Mensa secunda mea flagrat!
(My dessert is on fire!)

Caput tutum in ano est
(You have your head up your ass)

Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum
(Screw you and the horse you rode in on)

Stercorem pro cerebro habes
(You have **** for brains)

Tibi Gratias Agimus Quod Nihil Fumas
(Thank You For Not Smoking)

Frena Pro Feris Teneo
(I Brake For Animals)

Cum Catapultae Proscriptae Erunt Tum Soli Proscripti Catapultas Habebunt
(When Catapults Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Catapults)

Si Hoc Adfixum In Obice Legere Potes, Et Liberaliter Educatus Et Nimis
Propinquus Ades
(If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You Are Both Very Well
Educated And Much Too Close)

Capt'n Midnight

Illegitimi Non Carborundum

"Don't let the bastards grind you down"