hit your kids

oneweb

A rare slap when a kid is wrong (and it bloody well knows it's wrong) is a good thing. But I have seen, and have been horrified to watch parents grabbing their kids by the shoulders and shaking/screaming at them violently. Those kids will grow up to believe that physical abuse like that isn't abnormal.

Little bastard untouchables - you know, those who can do no wrong (you inform them not to do that again, and they have their parents on you in a flash) who have no respect for anyone - not even their parents ffs.

As for those screechy screamy wailers in shops whose parents ignore them, with complete disregard for fellow shoppers :rolleyes:

But above all - a kid needs to know WHAT it's doing wrong and WHY it's wrong to do it.

Victor

Originally posted by oneweb
As for those screechy screamy wailers in shops whose parents ignore them, with complete disregard for fellow shoppers :rolleyes:

Just stare at them - the younger ones know the game is up (that screaming only works with their parents and no one else cares), the older one thinks your a paedo (sorry), either way they shut up.

Boston

Thaed, the thing is they don't live close to us, so we maybe seem them every other weekend. two weeks ago he sleept over for the first time in a year and i notice the big change in him, he graves attention and doesn't care if its good or bad.

DeVore i'm not really in favour of hitting, as thats not how i was raised, but in certain instanes i think it applies, i however don't thouch my god son as i've no idea how my brother would react to that, if there a slap due its my father who gives it. to be honest my parents arn't young, they can't watch and run after a child all the time and must be able to get some control over him. I do what you do DeVore,(lifting them up in the air) but unlike you its the mother that gives me a birty look, not the child.

Nevyn

well that lil guy needs help now.
aged three they are so willfull and if they are not taugth respect at that age they are lost.

Dont suspose there is anyway of raising the idea of parenting classes or maybe getting one of those books for your brother and sis inlaw.

IF at 3 a childs will is not clipped ( i know it sounds dreadful) they will become tear aways.

We are all told that smacking a child is no longer accpetible but parents are not tought the other ways of curbing thier childrens outbursts and how to see what
sparked it to begin iwth instead of just reacting.

Boston

basically i can't say anything, cause i'm my brothers little kid brother (10 years younger). I think he knows what has to be done, but its one of those situations where he works all day and she takes care of the kid, i don't like that type of thing because as a result he is very slow to share with other kids or play with them. If a parent is going to leave a child with someone they should insure that child can be controlled. He climbed into a space behind the stairs in my house a couple of weeks ago after being told not to several times. My parents just left him sitting in there because they wouldn't be able to be constantly lifting him out of there as his mother did afew weeks before that. After being inthere a half hour he found his own way out and didn't go back again.

Nevyn

sounds like both He and his Mam could do with joining a toddler group.

Oh and just cos you give birth to a kid and struggle through the first two years with them dontes mean you know how to do the rest of it with out help and support.

When kids are at that age they are such a handfull and it is easier to appear to be better with them when you get a break from ie going work then being woren down by being wih them everyday day in day out.

Hobbes

b3t4 spoke exactly how I think in regards to kids.

99.9% of the time you do not have to hit the kid. You just have to listen and pay attention to them and don't treat them as rugrats.

Taking an intrest in what they are doing, talking to them and playing games with them goes a hell of a long way to a good kid then a slap.

Also you have to show them where they draw the line with what you will put up with by ignoring outbursts, only give feedback to positive acts.

My Sis has three girls, and I think the worst they have ever gotten is a small slap on the behind (at a point where they were just being bitches for attention. Note: only the Sis has ever done this, no one ever lays a hand on them), and then I don't think I can recall more then once or twice ever if that. We all treat them as adults when talking to them and have proper conversations with them, and they are quite civil back.

Beruthiel

Parenting classes are fantastic, I did one when my daughter was 18 months old and I found it invaluable, I learned all sorts of useful tricks on how to curb bad behaviour and have never had to raise a hand to her as a result, to this day she knows when I say no, I actually mean it. Consistency and sticking to what you say can be harder than you think for a parent but it is vital that you do. Hitting your kids is the lazy mans way of discipline imo

shabbyroad

hitting a child is invading their personal space.
hitting a child is the single most hurtful thing you can do to a child.
hitting a child doesn't fix the problem.
hitting a child makes it worse - for both of you.
hitting a child leaves scars that they will either deal with or pass on to their own kids long after you're dead.... or both.

it's not easy though - sometimes we fall apart and fail;
fvckin hell it's not easy.... after a couple of weeks of scatty sleep and stress I understand how some people end up pushed over the edge... but for the grace of "God" go any of us.

so... enough about real children... now on to the skangers....

those annoying little 'can't touch me' scumbags can be dealt with but don't do it yourself because their skanger compo-culture parents will fvck you up. Complain to the Gardai and keep complaining... follow up and keep following up until either the Garda gets fed up with you and tells you to fvck off or the Garda gets fed up with you and pays the little sh1t a visit. takes little effort to follow them and find out where they live (in my case the dopey little sh1t told me !!)
remember they're not very clever !
We had some problems with little scumbags hanging around our houses this past summer and it was amazing the response when 4 different householders repeatedly complained to the Gardai. haven't seen the little skangers in ages.

being outside and watering your garden is a good opportunity.... water and shell-suits don't mix

Victor

Originally posted by shabbyroad
hitting a child is the single most hurtful thing you can do to a child.

Not necessarily. Ignoring them can do a lot more damage/ The resentfulness I feel to my parents is for them having 8 children (3 with disabilities) and "ignoring" the rest of us.