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Farting in the sack

  • 16-06-2016 05:05AM
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 633 cheif kaiser
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o

    Depends entirely and whether you want to get her in the sack a second time. I would say your chances are slim to none!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,025 gifted
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    Women don't fart in the bed???? :eek:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 Jim Bob Scratcher
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    gifted wrote: »
    Women don't fart in the bed???? :eek:

    I'm the one who farted, but i have heard in the past that women do fart in the bed, though it could be an urban legend.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 Jim Bob Scratcher
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    Depends entirely and whether you want to get her in the sack a second time. I would say your chances are slim to none!

    So what you're trying to say is I've blown my chance ? :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 633 cheif kaiser
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    So what you're trying to say is I've blown my chance ? :pac:

    I would saw that you have well and truly blown your chance!:D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 Roger Hassenforder
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    I would saw that you have well and truly blown your chance!:D

    Unless she's into Dutch Ovens...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,465 CruelCoin
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o

    My fiancee lost her sense of smell in a car crash, so now i just let rip wherever i am around the house, bed included.

    Best

    Thing

    Ever


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,460 Barry Badrinath
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    CruelCoin wrote: »
    My fiancee lost her sense of smell in a car crash, so now i just let rip wherever i am around the house, bed included.

    Best

    Thing

    Ever

    Can she not taste it?

    Eeewwww


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,460 Barry Badrinath
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o

    Was it a small weak one or a big thunder ass cheek clapper?

    Either way, you disgust me OP :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,465 CruelCoin
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    McGruber wrote: »
    Can she not taste it?

    Eeewwww

    Her sense of taste is developing rapidly.

    I let a long violent silent one recently, and she was there moving her mouth and saying she could taste something funny, cat and dog had already fled the room at this point.

    I'll have to have a really dodgy kebab and she if she tells the difference.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,419 cowboyBuilder
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    McGruber wrote: »
    Was it a small weak one or a big thunder ass cheek clapper?

    Either way, you disgust me OP :)

    :D:D:D:D

    Brilliant, I will be using that one in future




  • I read this as "farting in the sink".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 Mint Sauce
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    Nothing more satisfying than letting a huge one rip under the covers.

    Obviously have to pick your moments, like when she is in the bathroom.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 Jim Bob Scratcher
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    I read this as "farting in the sink".

    Must try it sometime :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 798 LightsStillOn
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    Great move to use if you're in bed with someone and you don't want to see them again. Let one off and trap her under the covers, don't have to worry about that overly clingy one night stand ever again :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,460 Barry Badrinath
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    Great move to use if you're in bed with someone and you don't want to see them again. Let one off and trap her under the covers, don't have to worry about that overly clingy one night stand ever again :p

    But, but, but....what if she does it back?!

    :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,889 PARlance
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o

    Happened me last night too. The bird wasn't impressed but she's gotten used to it after 5 years married to me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 798 LightsStillOn
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    McGruber wrote: »
    But, but, but....what if she does it back?!

    :eek:

    Then you've underestimated her and she might be a keeper :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,933 Grab All Association
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o

    Hi Brian

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=97241674&postcount=1


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,460 Barry Badrinath
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    Then you've underestimated her and she might be a keeper :pac:

    Unless a malteaser popped out!


    Eeewww


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 KERSPLAT!
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    And that's enough internet for the night, sound McG!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,460 Barry Badrinath
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    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    And that's enough internet for the night, sound McG!

    Sorry :(

    It's ok, I'll go.

    Night folks

    Xxx


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 KERSPLAT!
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    /blows kiss

    Xxx


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 572 voz es
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    Is it unforgivable ? Bird I was with the last night wasn't too pleased when I let one rip. :o

    The thing about it is its all about timing. The potentially anti social things you do normally should be toned back for the first few dates. Most people hold a lot back of themselves initially, so basically with any possible irritants just half it, people expect that. Now there is no such thing as half a fart as we all know.....

    Possibly in a few months she will be calling her own LITTLE releases 'lady puffs' and your being an twat''pretending'' there is a smell........


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
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    'Burglar fart' for maximum effect.

    Not your ornery onager



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 Stigura
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    Makes me giggle when I peel off such a stinking rip that it creates the 'Explosion In A Dog Factory' effect. Dogs bolting from the bed. Dashing round the room. Yelping and snapping at the air.

    Only trouble is? Then, as I lay there sniggering, the toxic cloud seeps up from under the quilt. And I'm like; " Jayyyyysuss Fcuking Chryyystt!!! ". Thrashing around. Trying to draw breath myself!

    Another own goal.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,495 Billy86
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    Always be sure to get in the big spoon first, then pin her wrists and ankles down before letting out. If you can lift the sheet just a tiny bit under her chin, you're golden.

    And single.

    Still worth it, though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,080 McChubbin
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    McGruber wrote: »
    Unless a malteaser popped out!


    Eeewww
    Oh, jaysus! Ye durt burd, ye! I laughed so hard at this I got tears in my eyes!:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
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    Stigura wrote: »
    Makes me giggle when I peel off such a stinking rip that it creates the 'Explosion In A Dog Factory' effect. Dogs bolting from the bed. Dashing round the room. Yelping and snapping at the air.

    Only trouble is? Then, as I lay there sniggering, the toxic cloud seeps up from under the quilt. And I'm like; " Jayyyyysuss Fcuking Chryyystt!!! ". Thrashing around. Trying to draw breath myself!

    Another own goal.
    I have always thought that one's own posterior gaseous emanations were never disgusting to oneself.

    Not your ornery onager



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 Stigura
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    Esel wrote: »
    I have always thought that one's own posterior gaseous emanations were never disgusting to oneself.

    You've never drunk my home made stout and eaten one of my chilli's!!! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 Ruu
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    Must be that bean I had. :o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,093 rawn
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    I'm a woman and i fart like a tugboat in bed. It's my sexiest move.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 Stigura
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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,458 topmanamillion
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    Best thread ever!

    I'd be careful about the Dutch ovens, I was going out with a lass years ago and I could feel a fire breathing fart coming on so I threw the covers over her and let rip.

    She hadn't told me she was genuinely claustrophobic.

    She panicked under the covers and flung her elbow into my mouth and split my lip.

    The result was her close to tears, my lip pumping blood and the smell of the previous nights Indian fueled noxious gas filling the room.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
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    Ruu wrote: »
    Must be that bean I had. :o
    Never try to flick a Malteser. Trust me on this.

    Not your ornery onager



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,465 CruelCoin
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    I think this is rather fitting

    Fine to do it in the sack is there is some artistry to it



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ToddyDoody
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    A related question. Anyone ever have the pleasure of hearing someone giving out stink about the smell you left in the toilet cubicle?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
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    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    A related question. Anyone ever have the pleasure of hearing someone giving out stink about the smell you left in the toilet cubicle?
    Never heard of a courtesy flush?

    Not your ornery onager



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 petes
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    'the last night', when in time is this exactly??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ToddyDoody
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    Esel wrote: »
    Never heard of a courtesy flush?

    Post flush of course. (I wouldn't even have thought of not flushing)


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 Jim Bob Scratcher
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    petes wrote: »
    'the last night', when in time is this exactly??

    The night before the last night.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
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    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    Post flush of course. (I wouldn't even have thought of not flushing)
    That is not a courtesy flush.

    Not your ornery onager



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ToddyDoody
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    Esel wrote: »
    That is not a courtesy flush.

    Who has time for that?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
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    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    Who has time for that?
    Yeah, it takes ages. :rolleyes:

    Not your ornery onager



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ToddyDoody
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    Esel wrote: »
    Yeah, it takes ages. :rolleyes:

    Oh well, spilt milk.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Boom_Bap
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Amateurs go for a Dutch Oven, pros can manoeuvre from a Dutch Oven to The Matador for the grand finale in a single fluid movement.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 qo2cj1dsne8y4k
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    rawn wrote: »
    I'm a woman and i fart like a tugboat in bed. It's my sexiest move.
    James Joyce would love you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 638 Estrellita
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    Several years with my OH, and he farts (if he really has to), then apologizes for it. I don't really mind to be honest. Although I never have farted around him, nor will I ever. I would die ten deaths if I ever let one slip out. He says he would pay good money to hear one :o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,713 Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager
    ✭✭✭✭


    Sayings about farting:

    My dad: "Better out than the doctor."

    Friend: "Get out and walk!"

    Not your ornery onager



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,676 exaisle
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    Esel wrote: »
    Sayings about farting:

    My dad: "Better out than the doctor."

    Friend: "Get out and walk!"

    "Smell that and die for Ireland..."

    "Good arse"


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