Cranky breast feeding woman in cafe

StereoSound · 20-12-2018 12:03PM #1

Having coffee earlier in a cafe, a woman sitting near the entrance with her tit hanging out breast feeding her baby, whatever it does not bother me. However what did bother me was that everyone who walked into the cafe were scolded by her due to no fault of their own... Forced to see her with her tit hanging out because she was right in front of the door... That's no ones fault, she directed a "What ya looking at"? at every man woman that walked in.

Maybe she could sit not at the entrance then if she has a problem being the first thing people see walking in the door. Big mouth on her, accusing everyone just going in for a cup of coffee of being a weirdo or something. Are a dozen people wrong to catch a glimpse of something a blind man would see or is she the one in the wrong? I think she is wrong and should have been more considerate to herself and her infant and sat further back where there were plenty of vacant tables, after all breast feeding a baby is a private affair, right?

sbsquarepants · 20-12-2018 12:07PM

I've no issue with it, my own kids were breastfed - by their mother mind, not me:D

But it's as simple as this - if you don't want people seeing your tits, don't take them out in public. If you do take them out in public, you cede your right for them to not be seen.

It's not fúcking rocket science is it!

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-12-2018 12:07PM

Why is it a private affair?

It's the most natural thing in the world

SusieBlue · 20-12-2018 12:09PM

The mothers bizarre attitude aside, breastfeeding is not something that needs to be done privately.
Unless you are of the opinion that bottle fed babies should also be fed privately?

DEFTLEFTHAND · 20-12-2018 12:09PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Why is a private affair?

It's the most natural thing in the world

So is urinating.

It's about having a bit of decorum in public. We're not wild animals.

starbaby2003 · 20-12-2018 12:10PM

StereoSound wrote: »

Having coffee earlier in a cafe, a woman sitting near the entrance with her tit hanging out breast feeding her baby, whatever it does not bother me. However what did bother me was that everyone who walked into the cafe were scolded by her due to no fault of their own... Forced to see her with her tit hanging out because she was right in front of the door... That's no ones fault, she directed a "What ya looking at"? at every man woman that walked in.

Maybe she could sit not at the entrance then if she has a problem being the first thing people see walking in the door. Big mouth on her, accusing everyone just going in for a cup of coffee of being a weirdo or something. Are a dozen people wrong to catch a glimpse of something a blind man would see or is she the one in the wrong? I think she is wrong and should have been more considerate to herself and her infant and sat further back where there were plenty of vacant tables, after all breast feeding a baby is a private affair, right?

Are you for ****ing real. This story is 100% bull****. She can sit wherever she wants. You sound like an asshole that deserves to be shouted at.

McMurphy · 20-12-2018 12:10PM

Bitty.

Sonics2k · 20-12-2018 12:11PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

So is urinating.

It's about having a bit of decorum in public. We're not wild animals.

You can't really compare taking a piss with feeding a newborn child.

starbaby2003 · 20-12-2018 12:11PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

So is urinating.

It's about having a bit of decorum in public. We're not wild animals.

What’s your take on breathing ?

everlast75 · 20-12-2018 12:11PM

Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, I find that I can ease the tension, by just winking at her

optogirl · 20-12-2018 12:11PM

StereoSound wrote: »

Having coffee earlier in a cafe, a woman sitting near the entrance with her tit hanging out breast feeding her baby, right?

:rolleyes:

Tabnabs · 20-12-2018 12:12PM

starbaby2003 wrote: »

What’s your take on breathing ?

Or farting...?

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-12-2018 12:12PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

So is urinating.

It's about having a bit of decorum in public. We're not wild animals.

So you are saying that a mother feeding her baby in a cafe is the same as having a slash on the floor?

SusieBlue · 20-12-2018 12:12PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

So is urinating.

It's about having a bit of decorum in public. We're not wild animals.

Are you capable of feeding a child from your nether regions?
Do women urinate from their breasts?
Completely different.

The primary function of breasts is to feed babies. Society has sexualised them so much that people forget that.
Maybe stop sexualising the situation and you won't find yourself so offended by it.

iamwhoiam · 20-12-2018 12:13PM

starbaby2003 wrote: »

Are you for ****ing real. This story is 100% bull****. She can sit wherever she wants. You sound like an asshole that deserves to be shouted at.

Of course she can , but why is she glaring at everyone who happens to pass by then? I am entitled to sit with my cup of coffee without being accused of something I didnt do when I am in a cafe

fits · 20-12-2018 12:13PM

I have to say. I breastfed twins and I never had any issues feeding them in public. ( one at a time ) Only one comment I can think of. I’m not sure how you could see her boob if she was actually feeding though.

seamus · 20-12-2018 12:15PM

Sounds to me like the cafe was busy and she had no other choice but to sit there (believe me, no breastfeeding woman chooses to be the centre of attention or to sit in a high-traffic area).

Already feeling vulnerable and irritated, it sounds to me like she was a bit over-vigilant against the gawkers who do a double-take when they see a woman breastfeeding.

Maybe you could have a little bit of understanding. Did you at any stage offer your seat to her?

Feisar · 20-12-2018 12:19PM

seamus wrote: »

Sounds to me like the cafe was busy and she had no other choice but to sit there (believe me, no breastfeeding woman chooses to be the centre of attention or to sit in a high-traffic area).

Already feeling vulnerable and irritated, it sounds to me like she was a bit over-vigilant against the gawkers who do a double-take when they see a woman breastfeeding.

Maybe you could have a little bit of understanding. Did you at any stage offer your seat to her?

That's her problem though, not the OP's

sbsquarepants · 20-12-2018 12:19PM

everlast75 wrote: »

Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, I find that I can ease the tension, by just winking at her

You pervy old cretin:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Also, you spelled **** wrong. Tut tut tut.

homosapien91 · 20-12-2018 12:20PM

People like you are the reason women feel so paranoid about breastfeeding in public, that story is complete crap.

beertons · 20-12-2018 12:20PM

She could have refilled the jugs with her other jug.

seamus · 20-12-2018 12:22PM

Feisar wrote: »

That's her problem though, not the OP's

Sure. She never made it his problem though.

So why does he care?

Like I say, if it annoyed him so much, he could have had a bit of empathy and tried to help.

No no, maybe a rant on the Internet is more appropriate.

Fiftyfilthy · 20-12-2018 12:26PM

seamus wrote: »

Sounds to me like the cafe was busy and she had no other choice but to sit there (believe me, no breastfeeding woman chooses to be the centre of attention or to sit in a high-traffic area).

Already feeling vulnerable and irritated, it sounds to me like she was a bit over-vigilant against the gawkers who do a double-take when they see a woman breastfeeding.

Maybe you could have a little bit of understanding. Did you at any stage offer your seat to her?

He just said he entered the shop and she was mouthing off and glaring at the people entering .

Here, take me seat ......

Doesn’t really make sense does it?

She sounds like an attention seeker. If she wants to feed her baby in public , fine.

If she doesn’t want people staring , do it in an area less discreet or just get on with it and feed your baby

Graces7 · 20-12-2018 12:27PM

Feisar wrote: »

That's her problem though, not the OP's

The older generation would feed discreetly if in public, ie a light shawl carefully draped.

thecomedian · 20-12-2018 12:28PM

homosapien91 wrote: »

People like you are the reason women feel so paranoid about breastfeeding in public, that story is complete crap.

How do you know?

SusieBlue · 20-12-2018 12:30PM

Graces7 wrote: »

The older generation would feed discreetly if in public, ie a light shawl carefully draped.

This is how 99.9% of modern women also feed their babies.

ct5amr2ig1nfhp · 20-12-2018 12:31PM

Why does it bother you? Were you not breast fed when you were a baby. Do you want to talk about it?

StereoSound wrote: »

Having coffee earlier in a cafe, a woman sitting near the entrance with her tit hanging out breast feeding her baby, whatever it does not bother me. However what did bother me was that everyone who walked into the cafe were scolded by her due to no fault of their own... Forced to see her with her tit hanging out because she was right in front of the door... That's no ones fault, she directed a "What ya looking at"? at every man woman that walked in.

Maybe she could sit not at the entrance then if she has a problem being the first thing people see walking in the door. Big mouth on her, accusing everyone just going in for a cup of coffee of being a weirdo or something. Are a dozen people wrong to catch a glimpse of something a blind man would see or is she the one in the wrong? I think she is wrong and should have been more considerate to herself and her infant and sat further back where there were plenty of vacant tables, after all breast feeding a baby is a private affair, right?

Because they have done multiple studies on that very topic. 30-40% of women are too embarrassed to breast feed in public.

thecomedian wrote: »

How do you know?

Triceratops Ballet · 20-12-2018 12:32PM

Graces7 wrote: »

The older generation would feed discreetly if in public, ie a light shawl carefully draped.

I've seen very few breast feeding mothers who could be described as being indiscreet. Most of the time you wouldn't notice at first glance, it's only if you spend some time gawking you notice

Feisar · 20-12-2018 12:33PM

Graces7 wrote: »

The older generation would feed discreetly if in public, ie a light shawl carefully draped.

Not arguing with you or anything however how does that fit in with what I was replying to?

Yes the older generation would have been more discreet.

lawred2 · 20-12-2018 12:33PM

StereoSound wrote: »

Having coffee earlier in a cafe, a woman sitting near the entrance with her tit hanging out breast feeding her baby, whatever it does not bother me. However what did bother me was that everyone who walked into the cafe were scolded by her due to no fault of their own... Forced to see her with her tit hanging out because she was right in front of the door... That's no ones fault, she directed a "What ya looking at"? at every man woman that walked in.

Maybe she could sit not at the entrance then if she has a problem being the first thing people see walking in the door. Big mouth on her, accusing everyone just going in for a cup of coffee of being a weirdo or something. Are a dozen people wrong to catch a glimpse of something a blind man would see or is she the one in the wrong? I think she is wrong and should have been more considerate to herself and her infant and sat further back where there were plenty of vacant tables, after all breast feeding a baby is a private affair, right?

yeah doesn't bother you at all

homosapien91 · 20-12-2018 12:34PM

thecomedian wrote: »

How do you know?

Just find it a bit exaggerated is all, just my opinion.

Deebles McBeebles · 20-12-2018 12:34PM

So she actually said "what are you looking at" to people minding their own business while passing by? Never mind the breastfeeding, her attitude is the story.

Doff · 20-12-2018 12:34PM

Did you try chat her up? Its fairly obvious she puts out so you could be onto a winner.

saintsaltynuts · 20-12-2018 12:34PM

I walked into a cafe once.Women there with her tits hanging out.Baby was having Cornflakes.

lawred2 · 20-12-2018 12:35PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

So she actually said "what are you looking at" to people minding their own business while passing by? Never mind the breastfeeding, her attitude is the story.

nope

she directed a look

I think the OP might be projecting a little

lawred2 · 20-12-2018 12:36PM

saintsaltynuts wrote: »

I walked into a cafe once.Women there with her tits hanging out.Baby was having Cornflakes.

What a terrible mother

should have been weetabix

Bannasidhe · 20-12-2018 12:39PM

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

He just said he entered the shop and she was mouthing off and glaring at the people entering .

Here, take me seat ......

Doesn’t really make sense does it?

She sounds like an attention seeker. If she wants to feed her baby in public , fine.

If she doesn’t want people staring , do it in an area less discreet or just get on with it and feed your baby

If I was sitting in a cafe near the door and people who came in felt the need to stare at me eating I'd be fairly irritable pretty quickly.

Here's a mad idea: don't stare at people eating regardless of their age, what they are eating, where they are eating it. It's none of anyone's business.

Grayson · 20-12-2018 12:39PM

SusieBlue wrote: »

The mothers bizarre attitude aside, breastfeeding is not something that needs to be done privately.
Unless you are of the opinion that bottle fed babies should also be fed privately?

Even with her attitude it's fine. The kid could have been up all night crying. And it could have been the 20th night in a row. I'd cut the woman some slack.

Feisar · 20-12-2018 12:39PM

seamus wrote: »

Sure. She never made it his problem though.

So why does he care?

Like I say, if it annoyed him so much, he could have had a bit of empathy and tried to help.

No no, maybe a rant on the Internet is more appropriate.

According to the OP and to be fair that's all we have to go on here, the woman was being very belligerent about a percieved slight.

starbaby2003 · 20-12-2018 12:39PM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Of course she can , but why is she glaring at everyone who happens to pass by then? I am entitled to sit with my cup of coffee without being accused of something I didnt do when I am in a cafe

I think the story is bull****. I find it very hard to believe a woman sat at the door shouting at people entering and staff did nothing. I frequent a lot of cafes and have never seen this. Sounds like someone who got caught staring and was embarrassed. In order to make themselves feel better has added a couple of levels to the story ...

Autecher · 20-12-2018 12:42PM

Cranky breast feeding woman in cafe

Why was the breast cranky and what was it feeding the woman?

Grayson · 20-12-2018 12:42PM

seamus wrote: »

Sure. She never made it his problem though.

So why does he care?

Like I say, if it annoyed him so much, he could have had a bit of empathy and tried to help.

No no, maybe a rant on the Internet is more appropriate.

To be fair if he offered to let the baby suck his nipple he might have got turfed out.

Fiftyfilthy · 20-12-2018 12:45PM

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

He just said he entered the shop and she was mouthing off and glaring at the people entering .

Here, take me seat ......

Doesn’t really make sense does it?

She sounds like an attention seeker. If she wants to feed her baby in public , fine.

If she doesn’t want people staring , do it in an area less discreet or just get on with it and feed your baby

If I was sitting in a cafe near the door and people who came in felt the need to stare at me eating I'd be fairly irritable pretty quickly.

Here's a mad idea: don't stare at people eating regardless of their age, what they are eating, where they are eating it. It's none of anyone's business.

Why is she not watching her child and getting on with the feeding than staring at everyone coming in?

People can’t stare at her (unintentionally) but she can ? Double standards

SusieBlue · 20-12-2018 12:46PM

starbaby2003 wrote: »

I think the story is bull****. I find it very hard to believe a woman sat at the door shouting at people entering and staff did nothing. I frequent a lot of cafes and have never seen this. Sounds like someone who got caught staring and was embarrassed. In order to make themselves feel better has added a couple of levels to the story ...

Yeah most women I know who breastfeed dread drawing attention to themselves for fear of attracting negative comments.

I find it hard to believe that a woman sat in full view, fully exposed, barking abuse at anyone who dared to make eye contact with her.

It isn't reflective of my personal experience, at least.

Deebles McBeebles · 20-12-2018 12:49PM

SusieBlue wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that a woman sat in full view, fully exposed, barking abuse at anyone who dared to make eye contact with her.

You usually have to pay good money for that sort of thing.

nthclare · 20-12-2018 12:53PM

She's probably one of those paranoid people who asks everyone "whad or youw stharin at hu"

I'd find it funny really, although we're not allowed to look at people anymore, as we're invading their space.

I tend to walk straight ahead not looking at anyone really, unless an attractive looking silver haired lady was walking towards me.

I love the silver fox look, can't ignore it, some day the fox might bite the head off me....

I'll be emasculated

Bannasidhe · 20-12-2018 12:54PM

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Why is she not watching her child and getting on with the feeding than staring at everyone coming in?

People can’t stare at her (unintentionally) but she can ? Double standards

You appear to be completely unfamiliar with the mechanics of breast feeding, But to be fair so do many of the posters here.

In simple terms - the baby latches onto the nipple - meaning their head is blocking much of the breast from view. Additionally, the latching/sucking can cause the nipple to crack meaning it can be a very painful experience for the woman. You also want her to cast her gaze downwards the whole time...?!?!

What are you talking about? She, apparently, was responding to people staring at her.

People so fecking ignorant they feel they have the right to stare at a woman because she is performing a perfectly natural function that makes them uncomfortable because they are so immature all they can think is "she's got her tit's out".

nthclare · 20-12-2018 12:57PM

Bannasidhe wrote: »

You appear to be completely unfamiliar with the mechanics of breast feeding, But to be fair so do many of the posters here.

In simple terms - the baby latches onto the nipple - meaning their head is blocking much of the breast from view. Additionally, the latching/sucking can cause the nipple to crack meaning it can be a very painful experience for the woman.

What are you talking about? She, apparently, was responding to people staring at her.

People so fecking ignorant they feel they have the right to stare at a woman because she is performing a perfectly natural function that makes them uncomfortable because they are so immature all they can think is "she's got her tit's out".

But wasn't the woman staring at everyone herself.

My friend breast feeds and just sits there and doesn't care if they stare.

She's quite secure in herself.

Big Nasty · 20-12-2018 12:59PM

Was she giving off a Feminazi vibe OP?

padd b1975 · 20-12-2018 01:00PM

Swing low sweet chariots.

Fiftyfilthy · 20-12-2018 01:02PM

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Why is she not watching her child and getting on with the feeding than staring at everyone coming in?

People can’t stare at her (unintentionally) but she can ? Double standards

You appear to be completely unfamiliar with the mechanics of breast feeding, But to be fair so do many of the posters here.

In simple terms - the baby latches onto the nipple - meaning their head is blocking much of the breast from view. Additionally, the latching/sucking can cause the nipple to crack meaning it can be a very painful experience for the woman. You also want her to cast her gaze downwards the whole time...?!?!

What are you talking about? She, apparently, was responding to people staring at her.

People so fecking ignorant they feel they have the right to stare at a woman because she is performing a perfectly natural function that makes them uncomfortable because they are so immature all they can think is "she's got her tit's out".

I wouldn’t class myself as immature , if someone happened to be in my immediate view of sight when entering the front door

It is human nature, people observe anything in the immediate sight as could be a hazard, threat etc

The woman Breast feeding has nothing to do with it, just so happens she is sitting directly at the door and is the first thing people see. I would quickly glance if it was an oap, or anyone else sitting there

If the woman gave a comment to me I would just tell her to “ **** off” and carry on with my day

Cranky breast feeding woman in cafe

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