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The worst Christmas Guest story

  • 27-12-2018 10:57AM
    #1
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭


    This just popped up on my facebook page.

    Little Facebook competition for you all... who has the worst Christmas Guest story? I’ll start with 2 strong competitors and am happy to bet no one will top me...
    Contender No.1: an older relative was observed going to my cutlery drawer and removing first a tea spoon and then a dessert spoon and using them to shoe horn their feet into a shoe... and then put them back in the drawer WITHOUT EVEN RINSING THEM....
    Contender No.2 a guest on leaving our house was observed on our CCTV purposely pissing in my driveway over Zack’s moped...
    Am beside myself with excitement to see who visits at New Year


    Nothing bad to report here, except for the dog being sick.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,299 ✭✭✭hairyprincess


    My dog got sick too


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,964 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    My dog too! Better now though thankfully.

    Mine was a relative who decided to attack Varadkar (no problem) by using racial and homophobic slurs (big problem).


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,492 ✭✭✭pleas advice


    We told them we had no room but they came anyway, set themselves up in the shed, put the baby in on top of the hay, so the animals couldn't get a bite to eat, stayed for 12 days, even had visitors over bringing them presents...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,315 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    We told them we had no room but they came anyway, set themselves up in the shed, put the baby in on top of the hay, so the animals couldn't get a bite to eat, stayed for 12 days, even had visitors over bringing them presents...
    Goddamn wiseguys, eh?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,279 ✭✭✭The Bishop Basher


    What’s going on with the dogs ?

    My dog’s been puking all morning


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 115 ✭✭chillinpenguin


    Rennaws wrote: »
    What’s going on with the dogs ?

    My dog’s been puking all morning



    Did you feed them turkey? Turkey makes dogs very sick shouldn’t have given it to them can kill them


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,848 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    They're still here.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    Rennaws wrote: »
    What’s going on with the dogs ?

    My dog’s been puking all morning

    Maybe its folks giving the dogs some of their Xmas chocolate stash, which is apparently quite poisonous for them.

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    padd b1975 wrote: »
    They're still here.

    Bantam and Crown?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,964 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    Did you feed them turkey? Turkey makes dogs very sick shouldn’t have given it to them can kill them

    That's not true at all.
    Maybe its folks giving the dogs some of their Xmas chocolate stash, which is apparently quite poisonous for them.

    That is true! In large quantities anyway.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 115 ✭✭chillinpenguin


    Maybe its folks giving the dogs some of their Xmas chocolate stash, which is apparently quite poisonous for them.

    I would say it’s turkey no one ever seems to know about not giving dogs turkey


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,846 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    My BIL is banned from the house now but was an awful guest.

    Banana skins down the sides of chairs
    Youghert cartons behind the bed headboard.
    Kept his fishing maggots in our fridge.

    One Christmas they were staying and we had my family over for cards in the evening. He decides to drive across the lawn in December and got his car bogged down completely and ripped the shiit of the lawn, needed six men to push him out.

    In the end I said he wasn’t welcome any more as he had no respect.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 322 ✭✭plastic glass


    I’ll get this back on topic. I’m presume this will be mild compared to a lot of other stories.

    Wife’s uncle is elderly. Always thought he was a grumpy old fart but he started getting nasty with us at Christmas.
    We told him there was no starter. None of us would be able for it. Wasn’t happy and said why wasn’t there any pea and ham soup. I thought he was messing but turns out he wasn’t. I let it slide

    Then he started to say to me that whenever we visit we come with one hand as long as the other. While this is only sorta true. We often bring a box of chocs or something. No 1 my wife is his only niece who visits him. No 2 I have known him for 9 years and have never even gotten a cup of tea in his house.

    That is my rant anyway. I was about to lose it with him as he started to get really nasty. But then realised he is a sad desperate old man who only has his funeral to look forward to


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,054 ✭✭✭Comhrá


    What’s going on with the dogs ?

    My dog’s been puking all morning



    This article might throw up a few clues:

    https://dogtime.com/dog-health/general/5504-bad-foods-for-dogs-list


    10 Foods That Are Bad For Dogs




    You probably want to share all your delicious people food with your pup. After all, who can resist those puppy-dog eyes begging for a morsel? But hold off on spoiling your fur baby. Sometimes being a good doggy parent is knowing when to say, “No.” Some foods are just downright bad for dogs and can cause all sorts of health problems. Even if your dog has eaten these foods in the past with no problems, they could be causing serious issues that you might not be aware of. Here are a few foods you should never feed dogs, no matter how adorably they beg.
    1. Chocolate



    At the top of the list of bad foods for dogs is the one you’ve probably heard of most often–chocolate. Theobromine isn’t harmful to humans, but it’s the toxic part of chocolate for dogs. It’s found in all kinds of chocolate, but especially in dark chocolate and baking chocolate. It can cause a dog to vomit, have diarrhea, and become overly thirsty, but on the more extreme side it can cause abnormal heart rhythms, seizures, tremors, or death. Save the sweets for yourself.
    2. Bacon And Fatty Meat



    Wait, your dog can’t have bacon? That’s right! High fat foods like bacon, ham, or meat trimmings can cause pancreatitis in dogs. And since these meats are often high in salt content, too, they can cause upset stomachs and, in extreme cases, can cause dogs to drink too much water, leading to bloat, which can be fatal. Save the fatty meats for yourself and stick to leaner choices for your dog.
    3. Salty Foods



    You may have heard that popcorn and pretzels are bad for dogs, but that’s usually only the case if those foods are salted. Salt can cause a condition called sodium ion poisoning, not to mention excessive thirst or urination. Symptoms of eating too much salt might include vomiting, diarrhea, high body temperature, and seizures, in addition to bloat, as is the case with bacon. Salt can be fatal, so keep it to a minimum in the foods you share with your pup.
    4. Garlic And Onions



    This one-two combo of foods doesn’t just give you dragon breath and repel vampires. These pungent ingredients are bad news for dogs. They can actually destroy a dog’s red blood cells, leading to anemia, if consumed in high quantities. This is a tricky one because a small dose might not do much harm. But a large dose or regular small doses can lead to poisoning. Symptoms might include weakness, vomiting, breathlessness, and a loss of interest in food. Keep the bad breath to yourself.
    5. Milk, Cheese, Ice Cream, And Other Dairy Products



    You may have slipped your dog a pill in a piece of cheese, but dogs aren’t really built to process cow milk products. They lack the enzyme to break down milk sugar, and while some dogs are more able to handle dairy than others, many dogs are lactose intolerant. Dairy can cause dogs to vomit, have diarrhea, or develop gastrointestinal diseases. The high fat content can lead to pancreatitis, as is the case with fatty meats. Don’t share your dairy with your dog. More ice cream for you!
    6. Raw Meat, Fish, And Eggs



    This one is a subject of controversy, as many vets are seeing health benefits from their patients switching to raw meat diets, including healthier skin and coats, cleaner teeth, and easier digestion. Some vets recommend cooking raw food to kill off bacteria and parasites that can be harmful to dogs. The majority of vets and the FDA still discourage feeding raw meat to dogs, and salmonella and e. coli infections do happen in canines. Most of these infections happen to dogs whose immune systems are already compromised, but it may be hard to tell if your dog’s immune system is completely healthy. Raw eggs have enzymes that can cause skin conditions in dogs, and raw fish can hide parasites that cause fatal diseases. There are risks to a raw diet that you need to weigh against the benefits before you decide to try it. These risks can be reduced through freezing and proper preparation, but you need to learn how to properly handle raw food before you feed it to your dog.

    The important thing to understand is that it is absolutely not safe to just run to the grocery store, buy raw meat, and toss it into your dog’s bowl or to allow your dog to sneak unprepared meat off the counter or out of the garbage. If you are planning to switch to a raw diet for your dog, you need to learn about proper preparation of the food so that the risk of bacterial or parasitic infection can be minimized, learn about the appropriate amount to feed your dog, and take into account your dog’s overall health. Research and understand the risks and stay informed. If you don’t, your dog can get very sick.
    7. Candy, Gum, Peanut Butter, And Baked Goods



    The real culprit when it comes to these sweets is an ingredient called xylitol. It causes an insulin surge through your dog’s body that can lead to a drop in blood sugar and liver failure. Symptoms include lethargy, vomiting, loss of coordination, seizures, and eventually death. Several of these foods, especially peanut butter, are sometimes made without xylitol, so check the list of ingredients in your foods before you share them with your dog.
    8. Grapes And Raisins



    This is a sneaky case of dangerous foods, as your dog has probably eaten some grapes or raisins without issue. But it’s risky. Grapes and raisins are known to cause renal failure in dogs. Your dogs kidneys might start to shut down, causing vomiting and lethargy and eventually leading to death. It’s best to keep the grapes and raisins out of reach of your dog.
    9. Sugary Food



    Sugary food isn’t good for humans, and it’s not good for dogs either. In fact, it can lead to similar problems for dogs as it does for humans. Obesity, dental health issues, and diabetes can all result from overeating foods that have high sugar content. Don’t feed your dog sugar, and we should all probably consider cutting back on the sugar we eat, too.
    10. Avocado



    Much of the controversy around avocados when it comes to dogs revolves around persin, a substance avocados contain in their leaves, seeds, bark, and fruit. Persin can be toxic in high doses. Dogs are, however, fairly resistant to persin, and it would take a lot of avocados for the persin to cause harm. Once avocados are ripe, the persin levels drop, too. So what’s the problem with avocados?

    Well, if you have an avocado plant in your house or in your yard, your dog may overindulge in unripened fruit and persin, but the real danger comes from the seeds, stems, and pits, all of which are difficult to digest and can cause choking or gastrointestinal blockages, which can be fatal. If you have an avocado tree, as many people do in certain parts of the United States and elsewhere, make sure your pup can’t get anywhere near it or the fruit that falls to the ground. Prepare avocados for your dog by removing the harmful parts, especially the pits, and use avos that are ripe. If you do, it is likely that your dog can safely enjoy avocados, but as always, you should ask your vet before sharing human food with your dog.

    Other products that aren’t necessarily food for you that your dog should stay away from include uncooked yeast dough, seeds and pits from fruit, raw potato, cooked bones, apple cores, alcohol, caffeine, and human medicine. Don’t let your dog anywhere near these products, as they are toxic and can lead to potential poisoning, choking, gastrointestinal issues, and death. Stick to a diet approved by your vet, or research some healthy foods that you can share with your dog. Resist that cute face and keep most of your human food to yourself.


    Read more at https://dogtime.com/dog-health/general/5504-bad-foods-for-dogs-list#VcSoCgJEtHoRt3Mq.99


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 786 ✭✭✭afkasurfjunkie


    Honestly if I knew a guy called Zack and he had a moped, I’d probably piss on it too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,351 ✭✭✭Littlehorny


    The Friday before Christmas we had a bit of a session in the local after work broke up, let a fella who lives miles away crash on my couch.
    Lo and behold the b*ll*x goes and has a little "accident" in his passed out state. He apologises, gets a mate to pick him up and leaves me to break the news to the wife and do the clean up.
    Too old for this crap, last time I let someone crash on the couch.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,279 ✭✭✭The Bishop Basher


    Comhra wrote: »
    This article might throw up a few clues:

    Thanks but she didn’t get anything she’s not meant to get..

    We nearly lost a dog because of raisins in the past so we’re ultra careful.

    Ah well.. she seems alright when she’s not puking and she’s drinking water..

    I’ll take her to the vets if she’s not better tomorrow.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,227 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    The wife's daughter. She always gets the vote. Fortunately I was out this year when she called.


  • Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Comhra wrote: »
    I suspect that the dog was robbing stuff while we weren't looking, as I don't believe anyone stuffed the dog on xmas day.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    We told them we had no room but they came anyway, set themselves up in the shed, put the baby in on top of the hay, so the animals couldn't get a bite to eat, stayed for 12 days, even had visitors over bringing them presents...

    Sounds like itinerants to me.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Mrsmum


    Another sick dog here.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,719 ✭✭✭dundalkfc10


    My dog too! Better now though thankfully.

    Mine was a relative who decided to attack Varadkar (no problem) by using racial and homophobic slurs (big problem).

    What racial slurs may I ask?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 608 ✭✭✭Dalomanakora


    My dog is fine, but we're always extremely careful to keep chocolate and stuff away from her. She had a small bit of turkey (nothing wrong with it btw, as long as you keep them away from the stuffing!), carrots, potato and gravy and her stomach is fine and she's happy.



    Worst Christmas guests? None, we don't really do visitors on Christmas. Had a friend take a leak on my curtains one new years, because he was too lazy to walk upstairs to the toilet. Nothing too major tbh, our guests are usually nice.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,628 ✭✭✭✭yabadabado


    Did you feed them turkey? Turkey makes dogs very sick shouldn’t have given it to them can kill them

    Well that's absolute bull****


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 858 ✭✭✭duffysfarm


    Wife's father from abroad asked if he could come. We said yes and he booked for 2 weeks.... and half way through now. Came with no gifts for kids or us, dobt care about ourselves but a bit mean for the kids. Doesn't speak English but understand plenty - so he can only talk to my wife...
    Stays up to 2 or 3 in the wrong watching Netflix on my wifes account and my wife looked at his history of what he watched a lot of porn (or for what passes as porn on netflix). The content was both straight and not straight which is a difficult one for my wife to digest.
    Wife cooked easier and sausage for him and her the other day and asked him how many did he want and he said all of them that she could do without them (weight wise)
    To me the weather is mild and I am going round with t shirt in the house but he is wearing my hoodies and wrapping rug round his shoulders saying he is cold....
    Had Christmas dinner and dinner and breakfast every other day and he never said thanks once or put away his dishes. Also he hasn't stopped eating since he came, I swear I am twice the size of him but he eats twice as much as me. These are just some of the things but each day is just worse than the last. I have walked the dog for so much now She is hiding on me.....

    he had his breakfast yesterday which was Thursday and he just left his plate on the table. We said we would leave the plate there for the craic to see what he does today. He sat down with a new plate and pushed the old one to one side.....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,315 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    I would say it’s turkey no one ever seems to know about not giving dogs turkey
    Actually, people refuse like yourself do not say why. Plain turkey is fine. But no-one cooks turkey plain. People use oils, butters, and stuff the turkey with herbs that you otherwise wouldn't give your dog, such as onions or garlic.

    Giving it plain turkey that is not touched with the oils on the outside, or the stuffing on the inside is grand.

    Most likely, the dog has eaten something very rich that fell on the floor, and smelt nice, or someone who doesn't live in the house gave the dog a "treat" that is actually toxic to them. The amount of people that thinks giving chocolate to a dog is them being kind, is sad.


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,659 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    duffysfarm wrote: »
    Wife's father in law

    Is that not YOUR father?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,628 ✭✭✭✭yabadabado


    So far all harmless stuff.cmon folks someone is bound to have had a bad guest.
    He brought no gifts,he gave a few sly digs or he eats too much is hardly earth shattering.


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,659 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    This Christmas one of the guests decides to absolutely thrash the place. He only had a small bit of Guinness. When I say thrash the place I mean everything everywhere. Decorations thrown around the place, food shoved in every part of the house. It came to a head when he pissed and sh1t his pants, and it went everywhere. Eventually put him to bed. He will be 4 for next Christmas so I'm hoping he will be a little better behaved.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 991 ✭✭✭The Crowman


    duffysfarm wrote: »
    Wife's father in law from abroad asked if he could come. We said yes and he booked for 2 weeks.... and half way through now. Came with no gifts for kids or us, dobt care about ourselves but a bit mean for the kids. Doesn't speak English but understand plenty - so he can only talk to my wife...
    Stays up to 2 or 3 in the wrong watching Netflix on my wifes account and my wife looked at his history of what he watched a lot of porn (or for what passes as porn on netflix). The content was both straight and not straight which is a difficult one for my wife to digest.
    Wife cooked easier and sausage for him and her the other day and asked him how many did he want and he said all of them that she could do without them (weight wise)
    To me the weather is mild and I am going round with t shirt in the house but he is wearing my hoodies and wrapping rug round his shoulders saying he is cold....
    Had Christmas dinner and dinner and breakfast every other day and he never said thanks once or put away his dishes. Also he hasn't stopped eating since he came, I swear I am twice the size of him but he eats twice as much as me. These are just some of the things but each day is just worse than the last. I have walked the dog for so much now She is hiding on me.....
    Where is this gobshyte from?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,230 ✭✭✭wally1990


    _Brian wrote: »
    My BIL is banned from the house now but was an awful guest.

    Banana skins down the sides of chairs
    Youghert cartons behind the bed headboard.
    Kept his fishing maggots in our fridge.

    One Christmas they were staying and we had my family over for cards in the evening. He decides to drive across the lawn in December and got his car bogged down completely and ripped the shiit of the lawn, needed six men to push him out.

    In the end I said he wasn’t welcome any more as he had no respect.

    How old is this person ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 858 ✭✭✭duffysfarm


    Well spotted and was a typo by me.....
    antodeco wrote: »
    Is that not YOUR father?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,939 ✭✭✭goat2


    _Brian wrote: »
    My BIL is banned from the house now but was an awful guest.

    Banana skins down the sides of chairs
    Youghert cartons behind the bed headboard.
    Kept his fishing maggots in our fridge.

    One Christmas they were staying and we had my family over for cards in the evening. He decides to drive across the lawn in December and got his car bogged down completely and ripped the shiit of the lawn, needed six men to push him out.

    In the end I said he wasn’t welcome any more as he had no respect.
    He sounds like a nightmare to have around


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,442 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Wait, there's porn on Netflix? !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 858 ✭✭✭duffysfarm


    Not hard-core porn but definitely some films which are that way inclined. Try the film "love" on it. Has a good first 5 mins or so ( so I heard....)
    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Wait, there's porn on Netflix? !


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,452 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    The extended family has an elderly lady, Popette, who's a religious fundamentalist - Latin mass, homophobic, transphobic, anti-islamic, anti-semitic, stacks of anti-abortion leaflets, strong narcissist tendencies and all the rest. Very strong on the sanctity of marriage, especially in front of her husband, a decent, kind man who - were there justice within the Vatican - would be up for sainthood.

    Anyway, I was speaking with one of Popette's kids the other day and it seems that she has this friend, another elderly, dreary, paranoid fundamentalist - let's call him The Rat - whose missus is divorcing him after she successfully took out a barring order against him for reasons unknown. The Rat now has no home to go to other than the gloomy religious commune they both support. So, having received information from the hereafter that the world will be ending next year (again), Popette rings her eldest son and says that she and hubby will be coming to Dublin to spend their last christmas together with their family. She also explains that The Rat will be coming too. The extended family, yours truly included, has told Popette that The Rat will not be invited to any social events with the family, so the son is wondering if Popette has forgotten about this. But then another thought occurs:

    Son: Have you asked dad if he is comfortable with XXX coming along? You know he does not like XXX and does not like staying in the same place as him.
    Popette: Now, he's not completely happy.
    Son: Have you asked him?
    Popette: I'll go and ask him now (puts down the telephone and stomps over to hubby in the background)
    Popette: Are you happy with XXX coming to Dublin with us for Christmas? If you are not happy, then I will stay here with XXX and you can go off to Dublin on your own.
    Popette's hubby: Huh? What on earth are you talking about?
    Popette: (stomps back to the phone again) Now look what you've done, you've gone and upset your father now. You're always stirring the pot!

    Anyway, Popette hangs up then rang the son back a little later to explain that she and hubby will not be coming to Dublin for christmas after all and instead, they'll spend it together with The Rat at their place down the country.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,978 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    My parents still tell about the time an old friend of theirs showed up at their door on Stephen's night unannounced (this was back in the 80s) it was their first Christmas married. He lived down the country, so they were a bit confused as to how the dude (let’s call him Tom) got there, because he hadn't driven and there was no bus. Anyhoo, they invite Tom in and give him a bit of dinner, etc. He gets stuck into the drink, and it appeared that he had already had a good few before he arrived.

    The night wears on and he shows no signs of getting ready to go. Meanwhile, he's finished all the cans of Guinness Dad had in for Christmas, and is making steady progress through the bottle of Christmas brandy. It's getting pretty late and he's had so much drink, they're concerned about sending him off out to find his own way back to wherever he's staying, so my Mum offers to make up the spare bed for him, he accepts, and while he's doing that, Dad goes into the kitchen and whips up a few sambos and a pot of coffee.

    Tom wolfs down the sambos, declines the coffee, but enquires as to whether or not there's a glass of Creme de Menthe available. Dad says they haven't got any (they had, but at this stage the dude was apparently reeking of drink to the point that they were getting nervous about having him sitting near a naked flame)

    They all head up to bed, and a while later, my parents are wakened by noise coming from downstairs. Dad goes to investigate and finds Tom pulling all the pots and pans out of the kitchen cupboards. He tells my Dad that he's looking for the chip pan, because he's making chips for all of them (at this point my Dad notices that there are potato peelings everywhere, and a massive pile of cut-up-potatoes sitting beside the cooker, all set to be fried. Dad eventually convinces him that 3am isn't the best time to be cooking chips, and gets him back up to bed. Dad chucks the potato peelings and "chips" out, tidies away the pots, and heads back to bed himself.

    They wake up the next morning and Mum goes down and sticks on a fry, expecting that the delicious aroma will entice Tom down. No such luck, and by about 12, he still hasn't appeared and Mum was getting a bit concerned about whether he was ok. Dad was more of the impression that he was just sleeping one off, but he went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door, and got no response. Eventually he opened the door and was simultaneously greeted with a wall of heat and a stench of piss. The "guest" was nowhere to be seen.

    They never found out exactly where he went, but basically he had obviously pissed himself at some point during the night, like absolutely drenched the place, and on waking up and realising what had happened, decided to bail. But not before helpfully stripping the bed, and hanging the piss soaked sheet over the radiator and turning it up as high as it would go. Such was the volume of pee, that it had gone through the mattress and between the slats on the bed, wetting the carpet underneath. The sheets had to be binned and the mattress brought to the tip. They also couldn't get the smell and stain out of the carpet. Luckily, they had an off-cut in the attic, so they were able to cut out a piece and use the spare bit to replace it.

    They were still wondering how he had gotten there and where he had disappeared to after quite literally blasting the place with piss, but they didn’t have to wait long to find out. On New Year’s Eve they went to a party at another mutual friend’s house, and while chatting to him, Dad said something like “Jesus, you won’t believe who arrived on our doorstep on Stephen’s night!”, the friend instantly goes “was it Tom?” and when my parents asked how they knew, their friend explained that he had invited Tom to stay with them for a couple of days over the Christmas, not realising how fond of the drink he had become in recent years. Apparently Christmas Eve was alright, he was a bit tipsy but nothing to write home about. However, Christmas night, he was absolutely sh1tfaced, and not only did he wet his own bed, he also must have gotten lost on his way to the bathroom because he’d pissed in their daughter’s wardrobe, too. Understandably, the friend and his wife were not impressed, and they asked Tom to leave the following morning. They don’t know where he spent the day (probably the pub) and then he either got a lift or walked to my parents’ house that night. Nobody knew where he headed after the night in my parents. Presumably some other poor unfortunates took him in for the night and either had their house burned down or woke to find it soaked in piss the following morning.


  • Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    robindch wrote: »
    The extended family has an elderly lady, Popette, who's a religious fundamentalist - Latin mass, homophobic, transphobic, anti-islamic, anti-semitic, stacks of anti-abortion leaflets, strong narcissist tendencies and all the rest. Very strong on the sanctity of marriage, especially in front of her husband, a decent, kind man who - were there justice within the Vatican - would be up for sainthood.

    Anyway, I was speaking with one of Popette's kids the other day and it seems that she has this friend, another elderly, dreary, paranoid fundamentalist - let's call him The Rat - whose missus is divorcing him after she successfully took out a barring order against him for reasons unknown. The Rat now has no home to go to other than the gloomy religious commune they both support. So, having received information from the hereafter that the world will be ending next year (again), Popette rings her eldest son and says that she and hubby will be coming to Dublin to spend their last christmas together with their family. She also explains that The Rat will be coming too. The extended family, yours truly included, has told Popette that The Rat will not be invited to any social events with the family, so the son is wondering if Popette has forgotten about this. But then another thought occurs:

    Son: Have you asked dad if he is comfortable with XXX coming along? You know he does not like XXX and does not like staying in the same place as him.
    Popette: Now, he's not completely happy.
    Son: Have you asked him?
    Popette: I'll go and ask him now (puts down the telephone and stomps over to hubby in the background)
    Popette: Are you happy with XXX coming to Dublin with us for Christmas? If you are not happy, then I will stay here with XXX and you can go off to Dublin on your own.
    Popette's hubby: Huh? What on earth are you talking about?
    Popette: (stomps back to the phone again) Now look what you've done, you've gone and upset your father now. You're always stirring the pot!

    Anyway, Popette hangs up then rang the son back a little later to explain that she and hubby will not be coming to Dublin for christmas after all and instead, they'll spend it together with The Rat at their place down the country.
    Would he get excused if he done her in!


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,452 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Would he get excused if he done her in!
    I reckon the immediate family would be more in favour of simple divorce or living separately - a lot of Popette's behaviour matches most of what's listed on the HSE's description of psychological abuse and even kids have been asking pointed questions:

    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/elder_abuse.html


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 94,379 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Gannicus wrote: »
    Sounds like itinerants to me.
    They were only there to sign on, even though Joe was working as a chippie back home.


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