Did your parents tell you not to hang around with particular children when you were y

14dMoney · 10-09-2019 1:38pm #1

Mine did. The guy in question is now a petty thief and drug dealer. Good call dad!

Wayne Jarvis · 10-09-2019 3:24pm

In before Herties Borse

Utter Consternation · 10-09-2019 3:28pm

Guy Person wrote: »

In before Herties Borse

Hanging around the second post of every thread like a bad smell.

freshpopcorn · 10-09-2019 3:57pm

I don't think so really. They generally trusted by judge of character. One of my siblings did tough and they didn't have much success.

Sharp MZ700 · 10-09-2019 4:00pm

Yup, same as I tell my own. He was right too, same fella did jail for armed burglary and other stuff later on.

OneArt · 10-09-2019 4:40pm

No, because we had barbed wire and weren't allowed outside the house.

Yer Da sells Avon · 10-09-2019 4:46pm

Nope. My parents generally trusted me and my siblings not to get up to anything too bad ourselves, regardless of who we hung around with. There were one or two kids who they probably would have preferred me to stay away from (particularly the lad who loved lighting fires), but they had the good sense not to make an issue out of it.

Ray Palmer · 10-09-2019 4:48pm

Some parents are clued in and others aren't. My mam kept asking me why I stopped hanging out with a friend. Just told her he wasn't a good guy and I didn't want to be around him. She rang his mother to try and heal our friendship.
She spoke to this women for half an hour and never realised she was drunk. She was a ragging alcoholic and he was trying to become the same. The reason we all avoided him was because he was always getting drunk, starting fights and stealing stuff. We were 16 at the time.

His mother turned up with him the next day for a "play date". My mother again oblivious to the fact the women was drunk and didn't notice his huge black eye from a fight the day before.

He is a complete alcoholic now and while I have helped friends before at 16 I was no equipped to deal with it. He was always aggressive and abusive sober or drunk and stayed that way.

My mam still doesn't believe me about his mother being drunk some 30+ year later

Your Face · 10-09-2019 4:58pm

There was only one friend my father didn't really like - he thought he was a clown and he was right.

BDI · 10-09-2019 5:02pm

One of my friends disappeared one day and stopped answering the door and started hanging around with other kids from his school.

I was annoyed and said it to his brother one day and his brother told me his dad had seen me drunk in the shop he worked in and stopped him hanging around with me.

About 14 or so.

He works but looks like he is only one drink away from death these days.

I’m grand.

Wayne Jarvis · 10-09-2019 6:18pm

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Hanging around the second post of every thread like a bad smell.

To be clear I wasn't having a go at Berties Horse I was just doing a jokey version of the in before Berties Horse thing.

_Brian · 10-09-2019 6:20pm

Absolutely.

And we’ve done the same with our kids. Some families are just best avoided and kids know no better, easier to head things off early.

10-09-2019 8:13pm

My Parents kept me from Children that were rough - Stephen Spender

My parents kept me from children who were rough
Who threw words like stones and wore torn clothes
Their thighs showed through rags they ran in the street
And climbed cliffs and stripped by the country streams.
I feared more than tigers their muscles like iron
Their jerking hands and their knees tight on my arms
I feared the salt coarse pointing of those boys
Who copied my lisp behind me on the road.
They were lithe they sprang out behind hedges
Like dogs to bark at my world. They threw mud
While I looked the other way, pretending to smile.
I longed to forgive them but they never smiled.

10-09-2019 8:27pm

The wrong guy was chosen by mum.
There is one other fella who is utterly fvcked up good and proper now.

Sonics2k · 10-09-2019 8:35pm

Nah it never happened to me. Weirdly enough though, loads of my friends were told the same thing before we grew apart.

Wait.

Redneck Reject · 10-09-2019 8:36pm

I was the bold kid in my neighbourhood that warned their kids to not hang out with. I wasn't dangerous or anything like that, I just like pranks and the older folks looked down on that,heh.

anewme · 10-09-2019 9:15pm

We lived in a small Council Tenant Purchase Estate and hung out with some kids from the Private estate beside us. For the most part as kids they called us The Commoners and we called them the Poshies but both sets of kids, fought, played football and it's fair to say got on well and had fairly similar upbringing.

As teenagers, we found out one family (Father) told their daughter not to hang around with us. For no other reason other than where we lived.

BuboBubo · 10-09-2019 9:33pm

Yes they did.

And I defied them and hung around with them. My parents quickly realised these girls were actually decent people who just happened to live in a "rough" estate.

They were the best friends I ever had. Some of them emigrated, others moved elsewhere in Ireland like myself. All of them got jobs, settled down, and I'm still in touch with them on Facebook.

That was 30 years ago. Never judge anyone by their address.

14dMoney · 10-09-2019 9:48pm

BuboBubo wrote: »

Yes they did.

And I defied them and hung around with them. My parents quickly realised these girls were actually decent people who just happened to live in a "rough" estate.

They were the best friends I ever had. Some of them emigrated, others moved elsewhere in Ireland like myself. All of them got jobs, settled down, and I'm still in touch with them on Facebook.

That was 30 years ago. Never judge anyone by their address.

No one mentioned address. This particular guy wasn't from a rough estate, however his father had done time for smuggling.

Cork Trucker · 12-09-2019 6:00pm

No, but I was on the receiving end of it. It continued into adulthood.

RhubarbCrumble · 12-09-2019 6:19pm

My parents (who are horribly judgmental anyway, especially my mother) didn't like a friend of mine from school because apparently they 'could that one heading down a bad road'.

She's a guard now.

Strumms · 12-09-2019 6:43pm

BuboBubo wrote: »

That was 30 years ago. Never judge anyone by their address.

Good advice. On the two occasions in life where I’ve been fûcked over.. it’s been by people who earned good money, nice houses in nice areas and had accrued good wealth and lifestyles...

I’ve been given great help and a serious amount of kindness from people who were just normal down to earth, working people..

r93kaey5p2izun · 12-09-2019 7:35pm

No. But a few people in school weren't allowed be friends with me based on my address.

wiggle16 · 12-09-2019 7:45pm

No, never. I had friends my mother hated but she wouldn't interfere like that, her attitude has always been that you need to learn to make your own mistakes. Kids learn a lot from having sh*t friends.

But I know for a fact that there were at least two mothers in my area who told their kids not to pal around with me when I was a kid. No idea why, I was very quiet and I wasn't that weird.

fmpisces · 12-09-2019 8:34pm

14dMoney wrote: »

Mine did. The guy in question is now a petty thief and drug dealer. Good call dad!

Yes, my Mam did. At around age 11 she started to not want me hanging around my best friend who lived next door. She was a year older than me and when she started Secondary school we kind of drifted apart....different interests at the time. She would have been a lot more forward than I would have been (something I began to see for myself) and by the time my Mam noticed I had already started to pal around with her less and less. Suppose my Mam thought she'd lead me astray

cj maxx · 12-09-2019 8:42pm

Mine did. More so because he was mixed up in stuff
Good call

Bobby Baccala · 12-09-2019 8:56pm

Hung around with a bloke for years and plenty people including my family told me I'd land myself in trouble with him, we ended up getting arrested together on drug charges funny enough.

ILoveYourVibes · 12-09-2019 9:28pm

Nope. I had to rely on my own judgement. Mom was rubbish!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-09-2019 9:39pm

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

My parents (who are horribly judgmental anyway, especially my mother) didn't like a friend of mine from school because apparently they 'could that one heading down a bad road'.

She's a guard now.

Good call, parents...

AulWan · 12-09-2019 9:44pm

anewme wrote: »

We lived in a small Council Tenant Purchase Estate and hung out with some kids from the Private estate beside us. For the most part as kids they called us The Commoners and we called them the Poshies but both sets of kids, fought, played football and it's fair to say got on well and had fairly similar upbringing.

As teenagers, we found out one family (Father) told their daughter not to hang around with us. For no other reason other than where we lived.

Sadly, that attitude is still very much alive and well today.

andekwarhola · 13-09-2019 10:48am

If they throw words like stones and wear torn clothes, it's a definite no-no from me.

Amenhotep · 08-04-2022 7:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/111237635#Comment_111237635

Some of the biggest scumbags I went to school with ended up in the Gardai ... attracts a lot of power hungry pricks, not saying this about your friend, but saying someone's a Gard means they can't be dodgy is well - dodgy :)

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 08-04-2022 8:21pm

I was probably the kid they were told not to hang around with. No criminal record though ;)

Strumms · 09-04-2022 1:17am

one who incidentally was the biggest bully on our road ended up a Garda, “keep away from that piece of trouble”… I literally went cold when I heard as in how could a muppet like that get in…? we ended up years later drinking in the same pub and got to know him he’s a different bloke completely… nice genuine, down to earth fella… comes across as a bit of a softy, like they switched brains with the aggressive, violent, psycho, malevolent and needy little **** as was the teenage JG back then…

circadian · 09-04-2022 1:48am

Yep was steered clear of a few fellas who later became "volunteers". Didn't stop them from asking me to take a "message" when I was off on a school athletics trip though.

I know a few kids were told to keep away from me because they told me after bumping each other in the pub as adults. Some parents didn't seem keen on having their kids hanging out with a mixed race fella.

80's in the Bogside were wild.

TimeUp · 09-04-2022 2:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058014106/did-your-parents-tell-you-not-to-hang-around-with-particular-children-when-you-were-y

Or not. Who knows, had he let you hang out with him from time to time, maybe some of your good upbringing would have rubbed off on him and he wouldn't have become what he is now.

It reminds me of a situation when I was in primary school, there was a boy you could tell since age 5 was gonna turn into a scumbag, and I tried to keep away from him since he was a bully too. But my mother was very open-minded and never told me not to be friends with anyone, in fact my house was always full of friends all from totally different backgrounds some being arguably real troublemakers too. They'd spent hours with me and my family, staying for lunch, dinner, sometimes overnight and for a few my mum was a second mum and my home a second home.

For the last day of school I threw a "house party" at my home and invited everyone, including the "scumbag", whom I had never invited before, I thought it'd be mean to let him out. Even though we didn't really get along he was really uplifted by that and behaved incredibly well in the party and was really nice to everyone, which was quite unlike him.

That was it, that didn't really make me like him anymore, I'd seen him be an asshole for 7 straight years so no thanks.

And sure enough he ended up in jail for the first time when he was 20, and has since been there on and off for petty crime. But sometimes I've wondered, would anything have been different for him if I had befriended him and tried to make him be part of the positive atmosphere that existed in my house? Obviously that's not a child's job and I don't think I had to do anything of the sort if I didn't feel like it, but I did find out later in life that he came from a problematic household, and maybe being away from it for some extra time would've done him some good.

I'll never know.

TimeUp · 09-04-2022 2:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/111217915#Comment_111217915

Your mum sounds adorable and hilarious 😁

09-04-2022 2:16am

”Keep your distance from common children, they will spit and throw stones at you”.

Dial Hard · 09-04-2022 5:54pm

Seriously, where do people find these ancient threads???

Did your parents tell you not to hang around with particular children when you were y

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