Have you texted your ex?

bitofabind · 15-04-2020 10:16pm #1

I thought this was just a funny instagram meme at first. And then I started hearing from random guys I've had everything from a relationship to a "thing" with in the past. All along the lines of "hey, how are you? Thought I'd check in to see how you are during these strange times..." It's been three so far.

So like, what's the dealio with this? None of them were what we'd call acrimonious breakups, each grand enough lads, but it would just quite simply never occur to me to get in touch with any of these fellas, leave the past where it belongs in the past like. I could be in solitary confinement with just one number in my phone and it could be one of them and I'd still be like, nah you're grand thanks.

Anyone else heard from their ex / exes since lockdown? What's the craic with this? Boredom to the point of scaling through your dating history to see who you can have a pop at?

uch · 15-04-2020 10:19pm

The last EX I had was in 1990 so I say she could be a fat oul heffer at this stage, like me, so why do you think I'd want to contact her?

Sardonicat · 15-04-2020 10:23pm

uch wrote: »

The last EX I had was in 1990 so I say she could be a fat oul heffer at this stage, like me, so why do you think I'd want to contact her?

I'm sure she'd be relieved to know you won't be bothering her again. I wonder why she dumped you?

riffmongous · 15-04-2020 10:23pm

Probably just bored

rapul · 15-04-2020 10:24pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

I'm sure she'd be relieved to know you won't be bothering her again. I wonder why she dumped you?

Haha touché, and I hear from my ex everyday, sharing a child has that effect!

15-04-2020 10:26pm

Bursting for their hole. Willing to venture over the 2km.

uch · 15-04-2020 10:30pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

I'm sure she'd be relieved to know you won't be bothering her again. I wonder why she dumped you?

Ohhh Matron you assume a lot

Heckler · 15-04-2020 10:32pm

bitofabind wrote: »

I thought this was just a funny instagram meme at first. And then I started hearing from random guys I've had everything from a relationship to a "thing" with in the past. All along the lines of "hey, how are you? Thought I'd check in to see how you are during these strange times..." It's been three so far.

So like, what's the dealio with this? None of them were what we'd call acrimonious breakups, each grand enough lads, but it would just quite simply never occur to me to get in touch with any of these fellas, leave the past where it belongs in the past like. I could be in solitary confinement with just one number in my phone and it could be one of them and I'd still be like, nah you're grand thanks.

Anyone else heard from their ex / exes since lockdown? What's the craic with this? Boredom to the point of scaling through your dating history to see who you can have a pop at?

My ex-wife lives in Spain now so yeah although we haven't spoken in a long time I emailed her and now we're in fairly regular touch keeping each other updated. Might be my ex for whatever reasons, doesn't mean I don't care about and worry about her. Always have and always will. Especially now.

JohnnyFlash · 15-04-2020 10:32pm

Augeo wrote: »

Bursting for their hole. Willing to venture over the 2km.

Getting nostalgic for just one more go on your old one-eyed aristocrat.

Arghus · 15-04-2020 10:33pm

Yes, I've checked back in. It's a time to see if people are doing alright on a basic decent human being level and to let bygones be bygones.

PmMeUrDogs · 15-04-2020 10:38pm

Three checked in. Two were looking to get laid, one was just checking in cause he's a nice man.

hynesie08 · 15-04-2020 10:59pm

People are terrified their first shag after lockdown is gonna be terrible, so you reach out to an ex. If it's decent, no harm done, if its rubbish, blame the bitter ex....

She is d.i.s.c.o · 15-04-2020 11:00pm

I've only one ex and that was around 15/16 years ago. It was a short enough relationship. He messaged me about 3 years after we split and I didnt reply. Not out of any kind of resentment but there wasnt any point in replying.

One of his pals use to get the same bus as me. That was sort of awkward, having to pretend we didnt know each other :pac:

bitofabind · 15-04-2020 11:05pm

Heckler wrote: »

My ex-wife lives in Spain now so yeah although we haven't spoken in a long time I emailed her and now we're in fairly regular touch keeping each other updated. Might be my ex for whatever reasons, doesn't mean I don't care about and worry about her. Always have and always will. Especially now.

That's very kind and decent. Good on ya.

15-04-2020 11:09pm

I haven't texted any exes, and don't intend on doing so. The past is a foreign country, possess the tiniest bit of resolve to leave it there. Catching up with friends and acquaintances from the present however. Perhaps a little more than usual, however it's good to have a natter now and then with traditional social outlets cut off.

Still waters · 15-04-2020 11:11pm

Why would anyone do this, it seems a little desperate to me, are people that much in need of a pat on the head and a little ego bump

Leg End Reject · 15-04-2020 11:17pm

Like Bertie, the past is a foreign country, and one that doesn't merit a second trip.

I'm indifferent to my exes and wouldn't like to hear from them again.

andekwarhola · 15-04-2020 11:26pm

Still waters wrote: »

Why would anyone do this

Alcohol

Pherekydes · 15-04-2020 11:41pm

Nope. Don't know her number. Mind, she did leave me in 1989, so probably not much point.

Immortal Starlight · 16-04-2020 1:20am

I don’t text psychopaths.

jimgoose · 16-04-2020 7:41am

Oh Jesus no, talk about a sleeping dragon... :pac:

Trigger Happy · 16-04-2020 7:48am

All my Exes live in Texas.
And there is no phone coverage there.

Feisar · 16-04-2020 8:22am

I've txtd one but she's in the same boat as myself, married with a baby. Would speak to her on and off anyway.

Your Face · 16-04-2020 10:21am

I avoid these scenarios by making sure my break-ups are as harrowing as possible.

Bang and the dirt is gone.

Jenneke87 · 16-04-2020 10:57am

No. I don't have numbers and not a lot of exes so.....There is someone I'm still very fond of and would like to text, but his level of disinterest is such that I'd only be embarrassing myself so, no. No texting and no-one texting me..

16-04-2020 11:28am

Yes, but we're still friendly and I'd have texted a few friends to make sure they were getting on okay. Particularly those living far from their families.

Grab All Association · 16-04-2020 11:39am

My ex fiancée probably texts me more than my new girlfriend does. 3 year relationship where she was unfaithful twice. Despite blocking her numbers (same phone number since 1997 so I’m reluctant to change it and why should I?)

Despite numerous complaints made, An Garda Síochána only care if it’s a man harassing a woman in this country. Great sexist little country where you are a 3rd class citizen for health, housing(home owner thankfully), discrimination etc because you have a penis.

I just block block block these days and my phone is always on silent anyway. Takes her longer these days to accumulate SIM cards. Narcolepsy and excessive sleep helps too. And there’s the reason why she was unfaithful.

cj maxx · 16-04-2020 11:48am

PmMeUrDogs wrote: »

Three checked in. Two were looking to get laid, one was just checking in cause he's a nice man.

All three were looking to get laid !

16-04-2020 12:00pm

I have checked in with my most recent ex. We broke up before Christmas. I don't have numbers for the rest of them and I haven't heard anything and don't expect to.

PmMeUrDogs · 16-04-2020 12:02pm

cj maxx wrote: »

All three were looking to get laid !

The last one wasn't, we've been on very good terms in the decade since we broke up! His fiancee checked in on me, too!

B.A._Baracus · 16-04-2020 12:06pm

Augeo wrote: »

Bursting for their hole. Willing to venture over the 2km.

This :pac:
100% this.

It's when someone gets horny and thinks well I was shagging them before. Maybe if I threw them a sly message I might be on for a ride.

Widdershins · 16-04-2020 2:31pm

No, I'm deliriously, ecstatically in love with my fiance.
Sent ex an email just before lockdown, though.
Needed to exorcise some demons of his creation.
The silly fecker.

Actually come to think of it, texting your ex doesnt have to be about wanting them back.

PoisonIvyBelle · 16-04-2020 2:49pm

I've texted "exes" who I'd normally be in touch with anyway, I use the term loosely as I mean people I dated and ended up being friends with. But I haven't text any of those exes you might have in your phone under "do not text!" - thankfully! There's one my mind always comes back to now and then but I only have to remind myself of our last encounters to stop myself from contacting them.

I've had 2 texts from exes that I wouldn't normally talk to, asking how I'm doing. One was an obvious bid to reel me back in, but the other was genuine enough and just checking in.

I've friends getting these texts left, right, and centre though, so it's definitely a thing.

job seeker · 16-04-2020 2:53pm

No! I’m still on read from that Facebook message I sent on the 8th of October 2019..

the.red.baron · 16-04-2020 3:05pm

Grab All Association wrote: »

My ex fiancée probably texts me more than my new girlfriend does. 3 year relationship where she was unfaithful twice. Despite blocking her numbers (same phone number since 1997 so I’m reluctant to change it and why should I?)

Despite numerous complaints made, An Garda Síochána only care if it’s a man harassing a woman in this country. Great sexist little country where you are a 3rd class citizen for health, housing(home owner thankfully), discrimination etc because you have a penis.

I just block block block these days and my phone is always on silent anyway. Takes her longer these days to accumulate SIM cards. Narcolepsy and excessive sleep helps too. And there’s the reason why she was unfaithful.

assuming it's true

i'm sure the po po are going to take you very seriously when you can't be bothered changing your number, so it can't be that bad

they hardly take death threats from men to women seriously here, so you will be well down the list

jesus wept you have a terrible time with the sexism

Ashleigh1986 · 16-04-2020 3:20pm

No chance .
Don't beleive in " just been friends " with exs .
It's one of my major red flags if I start dating a girl .
If she is still in contact with her exs .... Fxxk that !!!
Life is way to short for their mind games .
Drama queens still in touch with their exs is my idea of hell on earth .

Widdershins · 16-04-2020 3:25pm

Ashleigh1986 wrote: »

No chance .
Don't beleive in " just been friends " with exs .
It's one of my major red flags if I start dating a girl .
If she is still in contact with her exs .... Fxxk that !!!
Life is way to short for their mind games .
Drama queens still in touch with their exs is my idea of hell on earth .

I tried to be friends with my crazy and dangerous ex. I just thought we could do things differently...instead of harbouring bad feelings.

My ex boyfriend still "kept in touch" withhis exes-on the site he met them on

I think that is a bad sign. They're greedy.

andekwarhola · 16-04-2020 7:58pm

Ashleigh1986 wrote: »

No chance .
Don't beleive in " just been friends " with exs .
It's one of my major red flags if I start dating a girl .
If she is still in contact with her exs .... Fxxk that !!!
Life is way to short for their mind games .
Drama queens still in touch with their exs is my idea of hell on earth .

I'm on friendly terms with a handful of my significant exes. Not actively hanging out, but interact sometimes on social media or drop the odd email or text.

I'd be far more wary of my wife telling me who I was allowed to talk to then her being in occasional innocent contact with exes.

Ashleigh1986 · 16-04-2020 8:35pm

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'm on friendly terms with a handful of my significant exes. Not actively hanging out, but interact sometimes on social media or drop the odd email or text.

I'd be far more wary of my wife telling me who I was allowed to talk to then her being in occasional innocent contact with exes.

Occasional innocent contact with exs ...???
Mate there's no such thing .
There's a reason why one ex all of a sudden contacts another ex .
You cannot be that naive .
Like i said ... " major red flag " .

Idbatterim · 16-04-2020 9:08pm

Yeah texted her , told her several seconds of fun, is better than no fun ...

Idbatterim · 16-04-2020 9:09pm

Yeah texted her , told her several seconds of fun, is better than no fun ...

Purple Mountain · 16-04-2020 9:10pm

rapul wrote: »

Haha touché, and I hear from my ex everyday, sharing a child has that effect!

Snap.
The rest had their numbers deleted long ago.

The White Wolf · 16-04-2020 9:18pm

bitofabind wrote: »

Anyone else heard from their ex / exes since lockdown? What's the craic with this? Boredom to the point of scaling through your dating history to see who you can have a pop at?

Fair play to those lads if they're genuine, it's nice to be thought of I guess.

I've been tempted but I tend to leave the past where it is these days. There's one in particular who I'm worried about as she's a nurse, but ah....when I look at it with the blinkers off, personally for me it's bit of a cringey thing to do. That's just me.

andekwarhola · 16-04-2020 9:24pm

Ashleigh1986 wrote: »

Mate there's no such thing .

There actually is. We can just agree to differ.

LilacNails · 11-05-2020 10:43pm

I'm very tempted to text my ex for the ride...l know I know bad idea, we ended on good terms n text the odd time but flip I'm dying for the ride

Loafing Oaf · 11-05-2020 11:01pm

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

This :pac:
100% this.

It's when someone gets horny and thinks well I was shagging them before. Maybe if I threw them a sly message I might be on for a ride.

Also, they've possibly read some cod-psychology about how women are more likely to be up for it in times of crisis...

Ultrflat · 11-05-2020 11:07pm

For me X gfs are something I'd have no interest in, if they ended with me or I ended it with them.

To me it seems a little desperate. I'd much rather leave my sexual urges in a tissue. Get on with life. Then go drudging up encounters with people who should be in the past.

12-05-2020 5:35am

Exes for a reason. I wouldn’t even slow down in the street to say hello to one. Not because they’re terrible people (mostly) but because leeching around an ex is only ****ting on who you’re currently with.

Elessar · 12-05-2020 9:37am

She texted me actually a couple of weeks back to see how I was. Then again last week to catch up.

She's a caring person and I still have feelings for her so it's good to hear from her, but I was incredibly annoyed aswell. She is seeing someone else. I made it explicitly clear a number of times that she should only contact me if she's single and available (I still care about her and want to give it another shot) as I'm not interested in "just friends". Walking away after the breakup was the hardest thing I've done and it's hard enough missing her without her contacting me while she's still with someone. As if to say "yeah I'm still choosing this other guy over you, wanna be friends tho?!". F*ck that, we're either together 100% or not at all.

Don't get me wrong I love to hear from her but she clearly struggles with boundaries. This is the 7th time since the breakup she's reached out, while apparently still seeing someone else.

Once again I had to make it clear to her that while it's great to hear from her, she should only contact me if she's single. Thanks and all the best :mad:

pgj2015 · 12-05-2020 9:44am

Elessar wrote: »

She texted me actually a couple of weeks back to see how I was. Then again last week to catch up.

She's a caring person and I still have feelings for her so it's good to hear from her, but I was incredibly annoyed aswell. She is seeing someone else. I made it explicitly clear a number of times that she should only contact me if she's single and available (I still care about her and want to give it another shot) as I'm not interested in "just friends". Walking away after the breakup was the hardest thing I've done and it's hard enough missing her without her contacting me while she's still with someone. As if to say "yeah I'm still choosing this other guy over you, wanna be friends tho?!". F*ck that, we're either together 100% or not at all.

Don't get me wrong I love to hear from her but she clearly struggles with boundaries. This is the 7th time since the breakup she's reached out, while apparently still seeing someone else.

Once again I had to make it clear to her that while it's great to hear from her, she should only contact me if she's single. Thanks and all the best :mad:

she has you right where she wants you.

block her.

pgj2015 · 12-05-2020 9:44am

Elessar wrote: »

She texted me actually a couple of weeks back to see how I was. Then again last week to catch up.

She's a caring person and I still have feelings for her so it's good to hear from her, but I was incredibly annoyed aswell. She is seeing someone else. I made it explicitly clear a number of times that she should only contact me if she's single and available (I still care about her and want to give it another shot) as I'm not interested in "just friends". Walking away after the breakup was the hardest thing I've done and it's hard enough missing her without her contacting me while she's still with someone. As if to say "yeah I'm still choosing this other guy over you, wanna be friends tho?!". F*ck that, we're either together 100% or not at all.

Don't get me wrong I love to hear from her but she clearly struggles with boundaries. This is the 7th time since the breakup she's reached out, while apparently still seeing someone else.

Once again I had to make it clear to her that while it's great to hear from her, she should only contact me if she's single. Thanks and all the best :mad:

she has you right where she wants you.

block her.

Have you texted your ex?

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