Completely Put Off Having Children

pgj2015 wrote: »

women will know they had a child.

You've a lot of confidence in people.

People who look at parents and give them the condescending "poor you, tied down for life to screaming brats, your life is not your own anymore" are assholes.

People who look at child free people and give them the condescending "poor you, having kids is the only true happiness, what an empty existence you must have" are assholes.

s1ippy wrote: »

I don't think too many people look back and smile at the world trade centre coming down.

No

What you think is the worst situation in the world passes

Roger the cabin boy wrote: »

You can reach the end of your days childless, but financially rich, having led a carefree life but I guarantee you, that it will feel hollow and empty.

This is the same sort of crap I get from religious types when they find out I'm atheist.

Seems I'm doubly damned for a souless pointless existence.

bubblypop wrote: »

You cannot guarantee that.
Money isn't everything but neither is having kids. Plenty of people can lead meaningful lives without children.

Well, there are those who unfortunately, can't have children and perhaps they tried at least and they will have that as comfort.

But if not children, then pick your sacrifices carefully.

If your children are your whole life the rest of it must be pretty empty.

Honestly I'm cool either way, it would depend on what any potential other half wants.

Roger the cabin boy wrote: »

Having children is perhaps the biggest personal sacrifice one can make.

They can take all and offer nothing but grief and toil in return.

However, the one thing they do give you is priceless; Meaning.

You can reach the end of your days childless, but financially rich, having led a carefree life but I guarantee you, that it will feel hollow and empty.

You can reach the end of your days poor, and worn through, having toiled and grafted through your days of parentage, but I also guarantee you that you will close your eyes knowing that your life of toil and sacrifices have given your life, and those of your future generations much meaning.

Man must have a purpose. What's the point if you just spend your days eating grapes and only pretending at continuing the species?

As for the world children will be born into, anyone born in Ireland is born into paradise.
They could be born in far far worse places.

And so what if you are thrust into parenting in the bowels of hell? Who better than you and your future generations to turn that Hell into heaven?

Because if it's not you, or your family, who else is going to do it?

You absolutely cannot guarantee this.
What is a persons purpose? To procreate? Why then just have one or some children with one partner, surely to optimise that purpose it would be to have as many children as possible.

We are all most likely accidental beings struggling to identify a purpose to lessen the turmoil we have as a result of conscious thought.

For many, caring for their offspring is the purpose which they align themselves with either consciously or otherwise and good for them.

But what then for those without children? Are they lesser beings for being so? Angela Merkel has led her country for 20 years and has no children, would she have fulfilled a greater purpose had she sought to have a child and not consider a role in politics (not that they are mutually exclusive)?

Or how about me? I am 41 and have no children and most probably will not have any, is my life of less value should it continue this way?
Should I go back to the GF who had no interest in me but was desperate for a father to her future child? Would that be more fulfilling?

Or how about those that have 4 children versus those that have 1? Are the former 4 times more fulfilled that the latter?

Or what about those whose children who go on as adults to commit horrific crimes and inflict pain and suffering on others? Do those people reach the end of their days satisfied and content that they fulfilled their purpose irrespective of the impact on others as a consequence?

Many parents express great joy through raising their children (including my own) but to suggest it is the only guarantee of any sense of meaning in our lives is horsesh*t.

Tell me how wrote: »

You absolutely cannot guarantee this.
What is a persons purpose? To procreate? Why then just have one or some children with one partner, surely to optimise that purpose it would be to have as many children as possible.

We are all most likely accidental beings struggling to identify a purpose to lessen the turmoil we have as a result of conscious thought.

For many, caring for their offspring is the purpose which they align themselves with either consciously or otherwise and good for them.

But what then for those without children? Are they lesser beings for being so? Angela Merkel has led her country for 20 years and has no children, would she have fulfilled a greater purpose had she sought to have a child and not consider a role in politics (not that they are mutually exclusive)?

Or how about me? I am 41 and have no children and most probably will not have any, is my life of less value should it continue this way?
Should I go back to the GF who had no interest in me but was desperate for a father to her future child? Would that be more fulfilling?

Or how about those that have 4 children versus those that have 1? Are the former 4 times more fulfilled that the latter?

Or what about those whose children who go on as adults to commit horrific crimes and inflict pain and suffering on others? Do those people reach the end of their days satisfied and content that they fulfilled their purpose irrespective of the impact on others as a consequence?

Many parents express great joy through raising their children (including my own) but to suggest it is the only guarantee of any sense of meaning in our lives is horsesh*t.

I agree with much you say but, I don't think anyone is saying the meaning of life is just to have kids and to not do so is a waste of it.

My point, is that to not have children because it's hard and requires effort and sacrifice is hollow, deeply so and I would think you would know this as you grow old. It would eat at you.

In the OPs instance, what happens in 10 years if he chooses to not have kids now, only for the adoption door to slam shut in his face in 10 years? How is that going to rest with him as he ponders the fact that he sacrificed Parenthood because things are not peachy ATM?

That would eat at me badly.

What is the meaning of life? To enjoy yourself to the sacrifice of everything and everyone else? Urgh, sounds like eternal torment to me.
How about the meaning of live is to make an effort for someone or something other than you and that you leave the world in a better state than when you arrived?

So if doing that means you having children and throwing all of you into parenting, how much more satisfaction and meaning does one need?

No happy enough with no offspring.

Mid 40s now so I think its too late to become a daddy.

Roger the cabin boy wrote: »

I agree with much you say but, I don't think anyone is saying the meaning of life is just to have kids and to not do so is a waste of it.

My point, is that to not have children because it's hard and requires effort and sacrifice is hollow, deeply so and I would think you would know this as you grow old. It would eat at you.

In the OPs instance, what happens in 10 years if he chooses to not have kids now, only for the adoption door to slam shut in his face in 10 years? How is that going to rest with him as he ponders the fact that he sacrificed Parenthood because things are not peachy ATM?

That would eat at me badly.

What is the meaning of life? To enjoy yourself to the sacrifice of everything and everyone else? Urgh, sounds like eternal torment to me.
How about the meaning of live is to make an effort for someone or something other than you and that you leave the world in a better state than when you arrived?

So if doing that means you having children and throwing all of you into parenting, how much more satisfaction and meaning does one need?

A lot of people would argue that in terms of sustainability, resource consumption, population and climate change the world would be in a better state if fewer people decide to have children.

As for sacrifices -making sacrifices that you don't really want to make is how resentment happens.
Also, you can do unselfish things for other people (partner, community etc), it doesn't have to always be about children.

Deleted User wrote: »

Well, kind of..in 100 years like, unless you contribute something major to humanity there will be nothing left of you..no one will remember you..

Had you a couple of children there could be 50 people in existence because of you.. who, if they looked back their family tree they'd find you..

And? I can't name any of my great grandparents.

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

And? I can't name any of my great grandparents.

Absolutely. What does it matter if your name is forgotten in 10 years, 100 years or 1000 years? You're dead, you're not going to know about it. It's also a bit narcissistic.

I'd rather have my legacy be something that benefits others than have people remember my name. Say a charity donation in my will, teach students something useful. That kind of thing.