Somebody flirting with your wife would it bother you

I do not want to turn your thread into a lesson in English - but saying "should" has at least two common meanings in the English language. The first is to tell someone to do other than they are currently doing. For example saying "You should go to work" to someone sitting on the couch. The second however is validation of something that are already doing. For example someone saying "I ignored them" and me responding "Yes - you should ignore them".

Both are perfectly valid uses of the word. I am telling you I used the latter meaning here. You want to tell me I used the former. Perhaps you would fare better to take my explanation of what I mean with my own words as more likely to be true than you trying to read my mind?

The great thing about forums is that people get to give advice - and others are free to accept or reject that advice. What is less likely to happen however is for diktats on what form that advice should take - to be taken seriously :) My word choice was just fine - I in fact do get to decide what I am doing when I reply to a subject and I very much should do so - and no on a public forum on a public conversation thread it is a mistake to assume I am responding to anyone (including you) personally. I repeat - I write my replies addressed to the public as a whole because this is a group discussion forum. If I wanted to reply to you personally - the site has a functional private messaging system and I am well capable of using it :-)

To return to the topic at hand and my explicit advice - when someone acts inappropriately and we do the right thing in highlighting this to them - then often they will deny having done the wrong thing in the first place. Even in the face of hard evidence (which in this case you have on the phone). It is easy to react emotionally to this - and that you appear not to have done so is in fact what I agree you should be doing in that scenario. I address that advice to all here not just you.

The alternative of course is to escalate and call him out as a liar - start sending evidence back and forth - or worse. Which is what many people might do in your situation. And I would say that doing so would be an emotional move that I would generally advise against in many if not most situations. I am not sure there are any winners when that happens. Once we have done the right thing in a situation - we should avoid emotional triggers to escalate when we can. Generally.

That said though - as I said before - one escalation I might do is review his professional conduct on line. There are review sites explicitly for that purpose. And I like to use them myself as both a reader and a writer. If a service person is one who acts out of line - I as a customer would want to know that. So I as a customer feel motivated to inform other customers for that reason. Not saying you should do it or have to do it or should be expected to do it before you get triggered again. It's just how I operate and how my mind works.

Given I am two years longer on the site than you - I 100% agree with your sentence above :) Newbie should :)

As for marrying someone ugly* - alas that is no guaranteed cure :-) Everyone is attractive to someone. As I learned in my teen years when I went to the UK to visit my brother and my school mates gave me a "shopping list" of porn mags they wanted me to buy and bring back. And included in the order was magazines specifically catering to nude photography of the massively obese.

And in fact some people may even see people they view as less attractive as being "easy" to pull so they might even be more motivated to try.

And then of course you yourself are stuck married to someone you are not even attracted to :-)

*(realise your point was tongue in cheek, my reply should be taken as being so too :-) )

^ But but but I have seen all the porn movies! Which tell me that A) Plumbers always and without fail show up on time and B) Always have sex with the housewife and C) always have the right tool for the job.

Why can’t I delete this tweet boards?