House sharing becoming difficult

There comes a time when you have grown out of house-sharing. Prepare for that day!

Would the landlord need some kind of evidence before sending a warning notice like that? Unless he saw the behaviour or heard the loud music/parties he has no proof it happened and the new HM's could deny it.

Get some more and give them to the landlord and maybe he'll talk to the HM's again. It might help.

How do you know it was the HM's who left the broken glass?

If you could get some of the neighbour's to complain to the landlord that might help.

Tbh you're too old/mature for a house share. Two things about the above, being happy and settled in a house share is never going to last (as you've found out). It's not your house and you don't have any extra say over the house just because you've been there longer than the newer house share. You'll either have to tolerate her having friends and inviting them over or find somewhere else to live.

Secondly that letter is for anti social behaviour which would be sounds OTT for inviting people over without telling you and the landlord could find it would cause more problems for them if they disputed the the contents and labelling of their behaviour as anti social behaviour.

In short house shares are ****, SHOULD (and i stress should given the current housing situation) only be something for a few years. Find somewhere new or accept them as they are.

Being honest you're the one that sounds entitled and inconsiderate. Why should they have to ask you to invite friends over to their house? You aren't their mammy, be careful you could be outnumbered 3 to 1 if your ally were to leave.

It sounds like you are, what if she did tell you would you have just said ok and left it at that? Just my opinion but I think you would have tried to put her off having people over and instead of having people unannounced you would be complaining about her having people over when you said she couldn't

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I really relate to the situation OP. Had a similar problem myself a few years back. Was in a 4-way houseshare for a year that was fine, but 2 of them moved out leaving myself and one other HM with the place. She was a very close friend and we got on really well so we decided to try rent out the other two. We had a mutual friend and one of her good friends from college looking for spaces. The latter guy seemed sound at the beginning and we all got along well, but it soured with similar behaviour to what you're describing. He would regularly come home late (as in after midnight when most of us were already asleep) and start playing music loudly off his phone, drinking, and turning the heat on for the whole house, so if the noise didn't wake us up the temperature would. Then set alarms for around 6am in the morning that seemed to only wake my other HM and not himself, because he was never up early. Also had a habit of inviting friends around late and making a lot of noise too, or staying up to all hours.

Despite the bollocking you're getting in the thread for thinking this is inconsiderate to do without giving notice, I do agree. Shared areas belong to everyone, and if you're going to be taking one of them over for the whole evening it's common courtesy to at the very least give a heads up to the rest of the house. In a lot of the cases I had I probably would have tried to make arrangements find somewhere else to be if I'd known I wasn't going to be able to get any peace to study or sleep for the evening. Even later on when I was subletting a room in my apartment, I'd 100% always give my HM I was subletting to some notice if I was inviting some friends over for that reason and make sure it was ok with him, and he did the same for me.

Didn't clean up after himself either. We tried having meetings to discuss rules and shared responsibilities but they never really had much long-term effect. The close friend and I were driven up the wall with him. It is very frustrating, because you feel like when you've been there first and invited them in then you should have seniority, but it really just doesn't work like that in any way. Unlike you, we actually outnumbered him and still couldn't do anything. The defacto power lies with whoever is being the most obnoxious and causing the most trouble for the rest, because they can stick it out longer. We really didn't want to leave, because it was a nice place at a good price, and we were there first, and you are basically just rewarding everything they've done to piss you off, but we had to give in eventually and get out. As others have pointed out, the LL will never really care as long as they aren't violating the lease, and even if they are it's difficult. The bad tenant could stop paying the rent, start wrecking the furniture, and sell heroin out of the apartment and it would be months of court proceedings to get them to leave anyway. Glad to hear you managed to get another place at least, and you've also learned the hard way to be incredibly cautious in future about who you invite into a place to share with you.