There will be a rise in incel related terror attacks

If you find yourself in a situation where you're typing the words you've typed, you should probably seek the help of a mental health professional. Good luck, OP.

>>> This is something that unless you're in the brain of a person who gravitates towards the incel community you just can't understand. Something happened in our lives that deeply scarred us and our sense of self and feelings of worthiness.

First off, Incels don't have a monopoly on such experiences, and many of us experienced this kind of life long before the incels decided to form a support group. They're really not unique, with problems the rest of us haven't gone through. I seriously don't gravitate towards the incel community.. because I took responsibility for my own life, rather than accepting other peoples frames. Which is what you're doing.

>>>I don't think people know what it's like to be invisible.

There are heaps of teenagers who would vehemently disagree with you.. along with a rather hefty population of homeless or the poor.

>>>I try to be me but it's like there's an impenetrable wall between the person in my own head and the outside world.

If you don't like "who you are", or how others perceive you, change it. It's really not that difficult to change habits, if you seriously want to change. However, you're not going to get better results in life by repeating the same behavioral norms. It's not them, it's you. It's all on you. Take responsibility for your personality, and how you interact with others... but honestly, work on your self-image. Shift your environment for a few months while you're doing all this personality work. And examine the friends you currently have since they're probably enabling this kind of mindset... might be best to upgrade them to people who are more positive and supportive, without encouraging this mindset you currently have. You'll lose most of them anyway, if you manage to get out of this hole, and start dealing with your life positively.

>>>I just have too many negative points and not enough that saves me. Don't have height or charisma with can be too saving graces for average guys.

Nope. No sympathy from me. Humans have the wonderful ability to learn and adapt to their environment. That includes your personal habits, beliefs, etc. I have a shaking disorder that affects my whole body... and I manage quite well. I also had many of the problems you've listed here, and managed to change my personality/behavior to better suit positive interactions with others.

The problem is that you expect others to change to accommodate you. You shouldn't need to change. People should just appreciate you the way you are... flawed as that might be. Nah. Take it from me. It doesn't work, and only leads to more pain and loneliness.

>>>This is an interesting video on female nature

Steer clear of modern psychology. That includes Peterson. Psychology is a multi-billion dollar industry, and it's designed to keep people in therapy. At least the self-help industry is far more positive, and cherry picks from psychology. However, stop looking for reasons/excuses to stay as you are. Get proactive. Read up on interpersonal communication from a practical perspective, looking at business vids on body language, and NLP. It all translates into any other type of communication you have with people. Do some reading on exercises for positivity training, and habit change. Start some guided meditation, and start doing positive affirmations every morning and every evening.

But ultimately stop passing the buck. Yes, blaming yourself isn't taking responsibility. Identify your limiting beliefs, your detractors, etc. And then, change them. It'll only take a few months for the changes to become established, and with some regular reinforcement, you'll be a new man within a year. Then, consider how women perceive you.. and I think you'll find it's much easier to have a second or third date with them. It's not that hard to do... but people these days are looking for the quick fix. The magical pill that will instantly change their lives without any need to do the work.. but there is no magic pill. It requires honest self-evaluation, the motivation to improve, and consistent efforts to change. Not hard but it does take some time.

Most incels are cowards who are afraid of actually going outside their comfort zone so the idea they'll ever be able to unleash that many terror attacks strikes me as unlikely. Sure some will, but those guys will have serious mental illness that coincides with them being incels, not solely because they are incels.

Honestly, reading this thread is head-melting in its stupidity. The sad half-arsed reasons the OP is using to promote making zero changes in his life, including the self-pitying "then they see the real me" nonsense. Lad, you aren't some tortured martyr, you are where you are because of the choices you made and continue to make. I mean, loads of us go through the "no one gets me" phase but most of us mature out of it, you have chosen and are choosing to, revel in it.

I'd offer you advice but you already know how to improve your life, you just like your comfort zone too much to leave it.

We used to call them losers. I don't know how that guy has become "dangerous incel" now.

I carry those scars to this day... although, I found my own way of dealing with it all

If you do not mind my asking how did you you deal with it? I agree the "someone for everyone" belief is just what people tell people and themselves

Did you ever try to improve your self esteem with any self help books or tapes or other self help.? I have not read read all of this so apology if you mentioned it

I suspect it's more about attracting attention. Notice how the personality and attitudes are so different from most others on boards, or that he claims some special insight that the rest of us, couldn't, possibly understand? It just seems like he wants to be special, and focusing on the negatives provides that, along with the sympathy from those who try to help, all the while, he can dismiss others suggestions as not being applicable to himself. Because he's special.

TBH he sounds like he's borrowing attitudes from other people rather than expressing his own. Like as if he's grabbed a list of issues from some incels posts, and decided to push them for himself. Otherwise he'd be far more capable of defending his opinions.. which he hasn't been able to do so far.

Of course some women only go for money/guys who are like models, but according to the community in question, women full stop exclusively seek such men.

If most INCELs got off the internet for a couple of hours a day and lowered their ridiculous standards they'd vastly improve their social skills and increase their chances of finding a partner.

I know a chap (a brother of a friend) and I was chatting to him one day and he asked me for advice on how to get a date. His main gripe was that he has zero matches on Tinder. He was in his early 20s, a virgin and had never been on a date.

I asked him to show me his account and he did. He had two awful selfies from awful angles. He also wrote nothing in his profile.

We were hanging out in a group so I told him I'd take a few natural photos of him throughout the day. I got three or four good ones, I told him to pick two and throw them up (don't want people thinking he only has one rigout). Then had a look at his Facebook and found another three and told him to throw them up and write a bit about his interests and that in his bio.

I then told him to start swiping and **** hell he was the fussiest fella I've seen swipe on Tinder. Left, left, left, left, left.

He was an ordinary looking fella (certainly no gremlin) and he was swiping left on women leagues above his station.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Not attractive enough."

I took the phone off him and swiped until he ran out of likes. I told him to do the exact same tomorrow and the next day.

A few days later he text saying he had three matches and was chatting to one of them.

They hung out and couple of times but things fizzled out.

He's now been going out with someone else for several months.

You have to give yourself a chance, you can't expect the world to just land someone in your lap.

Attraction is not that absolute at all!

What we think, how we behave, who we're attracted to, it's all affected by many things, most notably the culture/environment we're immersed in.

Spend all day looking at women on the internet, you're going to start comparing porn stars, movie stars and supermodels to each other - the idea of what a normal woman looks like is going to be a distant memory. Add to that the fact that when you're online all the time you lose empathy for the people you're looking at. You'll become more judgmental, less affected by personality or body language, and much less interested in an average looking woman. You'll also end up thinking mad stuff about women like 'they don't have armpit hair' and 'they can hold in their periods' 🙄 If you don't spend any proper time with women, you haven't scratched the surface of understanding what you're attracted to.

It's like when you see documentaries about plastic surgery, and people who get immersed in the world of plastic surgery and just want more and more done. By the end, they barely look human to someone like me, but to them, that's what normal looks like, and that's what they find attractive. Same for other types of body modification, or certain cultures/styles. People aren't just born attracted to one thing; it's affected by everything around us and it changes over time.