Flowers on Granny's grave from a Grandchild never met? Odd?

Bambinoonboard · 08-10-2021 12:56pm #1

We are due very soon and I would love to put flowers or wreath on my mother's grave when the baby is born - almost as a "congratulations on becoming a Granny" acknowledgement. Unfortunately my mother never got to hear our good news but I know she would obviously be delighted . Is it strange if I put something with a note saying "lots of love from your Grandchild". The last thing I want is for people to be talking about it as if it's too much /a bit nuts. (small town Ireland eh). Is there anything else I could do instead? It feels more than important to me that I mark it in some way and that she isn't excluded from this joyous occasion. It's so hard as I feel she has been cheated in being taken so soon and don't want forgetting her - it's hard not to feel guilty sometimes never mind to remember she is actually gone, even though some time has passed by.

Suckit · 08-10-2021 1:01pm

I wouldn't consider that odd at all. I would have more reservations about the people who thought it odd.

Isn't that sort of thing some of the reasons graves exist? To share stories etc. and have a place to reflect, grieve and celebrate knowing loved ones are close.

Stone Deaf 4evr · 08-10-2021 1:03pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058212222/flowers-on-grannys-grave-from-a-grandchild-never-met-odd

Its a lovely idea, and not going to lie, bought a tear to my eye, my own mam passed away in april, and the thought of her not getting to know a grandchild really hits a nerve.

Go for it.

Bambinoonboard · 08-10-2021 1:07pm

You're right. It's just the fact the baby wont have met her I feel would people pass comment on. Although, now I read back on that I think what am I saying, f anyone else. Why let other's opinions or ways influence my own...... If someone else wrote this I'd be suggesting the same!!

HildaOgdenx · 08-10-2021 1:26pm

That's a beautiful idea. It must be hard for you, knowing that your mam won't get to meet her grandchild.

It's nobody's business and in any case, wouldn't they have to get right in near the wreath to read whatever is written. Pity them if that's all they have to occupy them would be my take on that.

All the best with the new arrival.

the_pen_turner · 08-10-2021 1:42pm

there are miserable people out there that will have a problem with this. i know one case where a close friend of the deceased stopped putting flowers on her best friends(70+ year friendship) grave because of comments from family that wernt even alive when the person died. very sad to hear a 90+ woman saying things like that

why dont you leave off the card and say what you want directly. the card is not for the deceaseds benifit but for the family and busybodies .

the sentament will be the same

08-10-2021 2:02pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117992715#Comment_117992715

Do people go around reading cards/notes left on graves?

If you want to put flowers from your baby on the grave, do it.

893bet · 08-10-2021 2:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117992700#Comment_117992700

Just welled up and annoyed that I didn’t do something similar to my mother’s grave when I two year old was born (my my mother is gone almost 10 years).

OP this isn’t even remotely strange what you are proposing.

DoctorEdgeWild · 08-10-2021 2:12pm

I wouldn't consider that to be strange at all, quite the opposite, exactly the reason why graves / shrines / whatever exist. Congratulations on the new addition to your family, sounds like you had a great role model from which to learn. All the best to you. 🙂

bucketybuck · 08-10-2021 2:15pm

How would anybody else even know about it? Do people really go around reading random messages on graves?

banie01 · 08-10-2021 2:17pm

It isn't odd, it's a sweet gesture. Our parents and grandparents who've passed are often still part of the stories we share with our children. Of course a little nod and appreciation of her new "rank" is a good thing.

You know your mother best, and the only thing that really matters is that it's right for you.

spakman · 08-10-2021 2:24pm

Not odd in the slightest, a lovely way to involve your mother's memory in a happy family occasion.

Many brides who have lost a parent place flowers from their boquet on the grave, and I'd say your idea is similar.

Billgirlylegs · 08-10-2021 2:44pm

Do what pleases you. Your flowers, your card, your thoughts.

What kind of weirdo goes reading other peoples cards, and why worry if they are put out?

Bambinoonboard · 08-10-2021 7:45pm

Thank you for all the inspo and encouragement!!!

It's mad to think how many have asked do people go around reading comments on graves... Yes, I've seen it done. Some narrow minded folk out there for sure / pass remarkable etc. Another story for another day :D

I think I will definitely go ahead. As OP said, pity them if that's all they have to occupy them would be my take on that, plus Mam deserves to be remembered and felt part of this celebration. She'd be delighted and deserves a nod of appreciation of her new rank for sure. Thank you all :)

sporina · 13-10-2021 11:38pm

its a lovely idea.. you really should not worry about what people will think.. like others have said, folk who go around reading cards on people's graves should be more worried about themselves ekk... take care

freshpopcorn · 14-10-2021 12:03am

It's a very nice idea.

If anybody does make a comment about it then there the one who's a little off.

andy6 · 14-10-2021 1:00am

Its a really lovely gesture! Go for it.

Flowers on Granny's grave from a Grandchild never met? Odd?

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